Come On, MSM - Just DO IT!!!

To say I have a problem with the mainstream TV media’s coverage of the presidential primaries would be a vast understatement. However, since they’re intent on turning politics into a combination horserace/infotainment show, they can at least go whole-hog with the concept – yes, pun very much intended.

Primary season could begin with the candidates from both parties battling it out on Jeopardy! – at least we’d get a glimpse of who knows what, especially with tailored-to-the-task categories like The Economy, The National Debt, Job Outsourcing, and National Security.

It’s bound to keep the voters enthralled. Who doesn’t want to hear McCain choose “Iraq” and have to answer with, “What is a money-sucking quagmire?” if he wants to stay in the game, or watch the hilarity as Huckabee says, “I’ll take Separation of Church & State for a thousand, Alex.”

The popular American Idol format would work well as-is, except the competition would focus on speechmaking rather than singing. Bonus: no need to replace the judges. I’ve no doubt that Simon, Paula and Randy know as much about politics as, say, Wolf, Candy and Russert. While it may seem laughable that candidates be judged on their speechifying’, let’s remember that one G.W. Bush never would have made it past the audition stage. You can almost hear Cowell’s disgust as he states, in his clipped accent, ”That was truly dreadful. Let’s be honest here, George, it is blatantly obvious that you cannot speak English.”

TVs across American would be tuned-in for an entire season of Survivor – Middle-Class America, where contestant candidates are plunked down into a small American town and, stripped of any access to their personal wealth, have to survive by finding a job and an affordable place to live, while facing choices between food and heating oil, or enough gas to get to work and an emergency trip to the dentist. Job outsourced after one week? Bankrupted by a medical emergency? Welcome to Middle-Class America – too bad you didn’t survive!

Of course, there’s always the probability that the GOP candidates could “up” their ratings by appearing on more than one show in a primary season. No doubt Giuliani would wow ‘em on Cheaters, followed by an episode of Cops where he stands in the driveway, shirtless and clutching a can of beer, screaming as the boys-in-blue ‘cuff his best buddy Kerik, and cart him off to the hoosegow.

Cameo appearances on popular drama shows could also boost ratings and score political points, e.g. Fred Thompson portraying a catatonic patient on ER, or Alan Keyes playing a presidential candidate who went missing months ago without anyone noticing on Without a Trace.

And who wouldn’t watch a special reprise episode of Seinfeld featuring Mitt Romney as Elaine's newest love interest who’s got Mr. Peterman selling his combination puffy shirt/magic underwear?

The side-slapping, roll-on-the-floor-laughing possibilities are truly endless, and would undoubtedly have the viewing/voting public not only interested, but mesmerized - and therein lies the problem.

So don't forget to tune-in. You don't want to miss a minute of the hilarious hijinks as the country chooses its next president - one who could make-or-break democracy as we once knew it. And if the entire country goes down in flames, there's always the hope that next season will offer better viewing fare.

smarmy politicians would end up selling used cars or something.

... which is why the candidates should be forced to play as well. So let's see who's left standing at the end of the game - and how their perspective is altered as a result.

John Edwards as the missing candidate.

And Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama can go a few rounds in the ring on TNA Wrestling Impact.

... because if Edwards wins the presidency, the MSM will only acknowledge that by referring to him as "Vice President so-and-so's boss".

And , God , I MISS Molly! They named my niece after her!

occasional mention. :silly:

Roseanne Barr seems to thing an Edwards/Gore ticket is possible...she selling the t-shirts on her site. Wouldn't that be lovely??

I don't know, I am sure Edwards will make an excellent and smart choice.

But the Thought of HRC in a pink lame' unitard is pretty hilarious! Barack could be the White Hood, with the KKKape and all (oooh bad!)

That's a hilarous idea, and I would love to see the American Idol version...perhaps we could just phone in our votes, then we won't have to get off the couch (insert sarcasm here)

And, in the face of the REAL reality, we are All just a term away from the edge anyway, so what if next season is canceled by global disater?

We know more people would vote!

they are doing that bit verbally. They tried to belittle DK with the flying saucer bit and then get everybody else to pick fights on each other with stupid he said she said shit on nonissues. They would probably love to actually put them into a ring. This isn't about who will be the nominee for the democratic party for the presidency of the United States of America, but more of a railroading of who they want for president and how to get higher ratings and more viewers at the same time. This isn't due process for an election of the highest office of the land, but a mockery of democracy for the placing of their patsies in government while trying to make money from the charades in the process.
As to jeopardy they won't do that because that would've given rise to all candidates being heard.
My anger is brewing at what has been done to our country.

Of course, you could expect a run-in from Bill and, with any luck, Abyss could be talked into powerbombing the pair of them...

Probably wearing a blue leotard.


:rofl:

where the stain will be this time.

Do you get Stars In Their Eyes there? It's a show where contestants compete to see who can best immitate a popular star. Can't you just see all the GOP candidates competing to immitate Saint Ronnie Ray-gun?

Have a rec.

our MSM totally lacks the class necessary for Jeopardy. Having watched them stage a "debate" in which one candidate plays a moveable duck while two others are invited to take shots as the rest of the candidates are left to portray cardboard cutouts...having watched when gifted, experienced, informed and decidedly qualified candidates are asked insipid questions about pearls and UFOs...having watched as the presumed moderators primp and pose while we wait for them to utter something impartial... Well, the format that comes to mind is that of The Gong Show. Only this time, the MSM moderators are gonged (along with their little pundit friends). Afterwards, the citizens of this country burst into wild applause as they dispatch the losers with a parting gift of tar and feathers. And then we take back from the media the right to choose our candidates, dammit.

Could they possible get any more lights up there behind the candidates? I kept waiting for Screaming Chicken Wolf Blitzer to announce Double Jeopardy.

A while ago I wrote that the MSM had reduced this primaries to a "Monster truck competition." I noticed that MSNBC is now calling "Super Tuesday" Monster Super Tuesday . How long will we have to wait before an announcer comes on and screams " Tuesday, TUESDAY, T-U-E-S-D-A-Y!!!"?

:puke:

I think they are trying to distract us from stuff the Bush administration is doing--like retroactive immunity for the telecoms (members of the telecommunications club) and the favors the FCC is handing out right and left.

was used in "Honey, I shrunk the kids"

In this corner, contender Mike Gravel, weighing in at seven ounces, with a height of 4 and a half inches; here is christopher Dodd, nine ounces and five and a half inches tall, And here Dennis Kucinich,
six ounces, eight inches tall, and Hillary CLinton one hundred forty five pounds, five feet six, Obama, Six feet, one hundred sixty five pounds, followed by contender John Edwards, fourteen pounds, two and a quarter feet.

When the republicons lie to us or do something like a Craig or Foley the WHAMMIES will appear on everyones screen!

Exactly. On the brighter side, no matter how debased the coverage really is, nobody has made me look at a shirtless Rudy. Yet.:scared:

I'm picturing Rudy coming out taking his shirt off only to see his training bra underneath and while he's saying 9-11.:eyes: :puke:

I now have to apply Visine to my mind's eye.......

Because you have kept me coming back here so, so many times and I wanted to honor you somehow.

Thank you for your writings.

... from my fellow DUers over the past few years, but this is the most incredible.

Thank you so much, my Friend - and congratulations! You're part of the 1000 Family - and we're honored to have you!

:party: :toast: :hi: :toast: :party: