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Edited on Mon Feb-11-08 12:25 AM by NormaR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acBbkd7j2yITRANSCRIPT: Host: Welcome to Red Eye, It's like touched by an angel, if by touched by an angel, you mean camp counselor. They say she could strangle a pit bull with her milky thighs, and then make a head-piece out of it with its bones. No, not the lovely Fox News anchor Julie Banderas, I was actually referring to Meredith Viera. Host: Comedian Greg Wilson, he's here.... ....he's funnier than a pack of hyenas feeding on the corpse of a dead clown.
Host: Bill Schultz, my sad and pathetic sidekick, there he is, and right next to him for the entire hour, I'm so excited, is Trevor Moore, head writer, executive producer and director of The Whitest Kids You Know. A news season begins this Sunday at 11:00pm Eastern on IFC. He is as talented as I am despondent and creepy.
Voice: He's a talented guy.
Host: I know.
Host: Does it make you vote, or make you vomit? Super Tuesday is super dead. Barack Obama won 13 states, but Hillary Clinton scored more delegates. But what does Barack have that Hillary doesn't? How about blind idol worship, by a room full of self congratulating tools. Take a look at this new video...
Host: It's like he's already dead. I mean that's Obama's "Yes We Can" speech, turned into a song. Among the celebs singing, the song's creator, will.i.am, of the horrendous Black Eyed Peas, Tatiana Ali, John Legend, Herbie Hancock, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and hot chick Kelly Hu. My favorite part, frenzied fish-face Scarlett Johanssen, pretending both to be a singer and a human being. We know now she is neither. Trevor, I go to you first. This video succeeds in making me kinda sick, but sympathetic for Obama at the same time. Do these celebrities realize how sanctimonious and self-centered they look?
Trevor: What's probably more interesting than that, there's probably, there's a demographic out there, especially in America, that's watching the TV, and they see Scarlett Johanssen, and they're like, you know, I was undecided, but she's for him...
Host: Yeah. Exactly. It's those big, voluptuous lips. You have to admit, he's the only politician people would actually do this for. I mean, you've got to admit, no one would ever do this for Hillary, no one would ever do this for McCain.
Bill: McCain, Wilford Brimley is coming out with a single "I like you as much as I hate the diabetes". As for Hillary, you're right, nobody likes Hillary. As for that video, you're right, at one point Scarlett Johanssen, she's the only like most unmusical person there, she does one of these things it's the quintessential ....
Host: She's so...drives me crazy. Check out this white guy in this actually doing a "black power" salute somewhere...there it is.........What are you doing? I don't know who he is. I don't know who that is. Greg Wilson, do you know who that is?
Greg: I have no idea who that is. Personally, I was offended that it was in black and white. What about the Mexican vote? What about the Asian votes? Is this just for blacks and whites?
Banderas: That's why they didn't vote for him.
Host: That's true. Apparently that...do minorities hate other minorities? You're a minority .
Banderas: Latinos and Asians....well...I have something in common with Obama and I don't even know what the big deal is he's a Halfrican anyway...So I'm not quite sure why the Asians and Hispanics have a problem with him.
Greg: What does that make you, a Halumbrian?
Banderas: A Halfri-lumbrian. A Halfrican-columbia. I'm half Columbian, half...
Greg: Columbian. We all know she's half Columbian.
Host: She never goes to bed. It's amazing. Also, I want to go to last night at the end of Super Tuesday...
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