YIPPEEE! It's a sex scandal! Better yet it's GRANDPA!

This has been one hell of a presidential race! Exciting, historic candidates. The usual round of smears, insinuations and accusations. Drama, tears and excitement.

But one thing has been missing. SEX!

There's been the potential for it, of course. Barack Obama, young, virile and brainy with that rock star swagger. Talk about your intern magnet! Unfortunately for the gossipy types, as far as we know he has been the model of family values, a loving husband and the sort of dad who'd take his girls to ballet practice and soccer matches if he wasn't busy out on the campaign trail. Besides, Michelle looks like she could rip his lungs out--and she's a lawyer. Any Obama infidelity appears to be strictly in the imagination of Obama Girl.

There were some nasty rumors about John Edwards kanoodling with a campaign worker but nothing ever came of these either because (most likely) they weren't true, or no one wanted to believe that Edwards would mess around while his devoted and beloved wife Elizabeth battled cancer, raised their kids and worked like a trooper for his campaign. Forget about Elizabeth doing him physical harm--his supporters would tear him limb from limb.

Some reports suggested that Bill Richardson likes to get touchy-feely with women but apparently he likes to get touchy-feely with everyone--including Saddam Hussein--who's body guards drew their swords when Bill reached out and gave the dictator's knee a rub to make up for the fact that he'd just talked him into letting go several U.S. hostages.

Hillary Clinton's sex life appears to be above suspicion unless you're one of those people who believe those rumors that she was having a payback fling with Vince Foster when he a. took his life in Fort Marcy Park or b. was offed by Bill or Hillary or both. Since the same right wing rumor mongers have also suggested she's a lesbian, she's either the most sexually insatiable female leader since Catherine the Great (who did a pretty damn good job by the way as Empress of Russia despite her taste for hot young cavalrymen and/or their horses) or this is a load of crap. I'll take the latter, thank you. Bill of course is another story. Rumors that he's not exactly reformed his sex life have made the rounds but so far there have been no verifiable bimbo eruptions. He may not exactly have his mouth under control but other body parts seem to be firmly in check.

As far as the Republicans go, I was hoping for some hooker (would it be male or female) to unload accusations on Mitt Romney--he looks the type that would pay for kinky sex--but sadly, nothing. He might actually be as much of a choir boy as Obama--or he makes sure he pays his brothel bills on time. Rudy Guiliani--old news. Huckabee? Probably not. Ron Paul orgies with avid groupies? No. Tom Tancredo and a Tijuana hooker, maybe with a donkey involved? Fun but sadly, no. Sam Brownback tapping toes in a Kansas men's room. Don't we wish.

That leaves Straight Talk Johnny. He dumped wife number one for his current wife so he has a history. He's a bit old but hey, Viva Viagra! Sure enough, the New York Times has an article that suggests that McCain has been in bed both literally and figuratively with a female lobbyist thirty years his junior. She did, er favors, for him and he did favors for her clients. She drove his campaign staff nuts in the 2000 election and some of the more conspiracy minded among us have wondered if this story was the real impetus for McCain's embrace of George W. Bush--a man he clearly despises. Every time Straight Talk Johnny started to stray, Karl Rove would make a phone call reminding Mack that he had the goods on him. Nice theory, don't know if it can be proven.

So let's sit back and enjoy the show. It'll be a blast to see what the right wing scream machine will do with this. Will Rush Limbaugh come out in defense of a man he's been bashing ever since it became clear he was going to be the Republican nominee. Does Sean Hannity hate the New York Times even more than he hates John McCain? Will Mike Huckabee get his miracle?

This is going to be fun! And best of all, it's not one of ours.

Republicans have been able to get away with everything else. And if there is sex involved, all they have to do is "find Jesus" and they're forgiven.
And it was with a woman, after all! :sarcasm:

There was of course the Senator who will be forever known as "Diaper Dan" because of his unusual tastes in kinky sex fantasies but aside from that I can't think of too many others. Giuliani and Gingrich are two well know horn dogs who favor women but lately it mostly been page boys, muscular male prostitutes and quickies in airport mens rooms.

And after all, she is a corporate lobbyist.

what happened to Diaper Dan?

This may or may not be true, I heard it a while back...

Didn't he cheat on his first wife with this current one?

"During their time in Jacksonville, the McCains' marriage began to falter.<84> McCain had extramarital affairs,<84> and he would later say, "My marriage's collapse was attributable to my own selfishness and immaturity more than it was to Vietnam, and I cannot escape blame by pointing a finger at the war. The blame was entirely mine."<84> His wife Carol would later echo those sentiments, saying "I attribute more to John turning 40 and wanting to be 25 again than I do to anything else."<84>"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCain

Seems that the Republicans had forgotten this little tidbit about their candidate?!

He and Rudy were going for the same slice of the GOP pie. Anyone with half a brain knew that the Democrats were going to have a field day with Guiliani. McCain seemed the safer choice. His indescretions were all safely in the past--or so they thought.

Just the thought of McNut and sex makes me ...:puke:

As a Senate committee chairman he'd look like Brad Pitt to a lobbyist on the make.

and much of the stuff about democratic pecidillos make the republicans drool, it really doesn't make one difference about what makes a good president. We haven't had many possible bimbo eruptions about the current occupant of 1600 Pennylvania Ave but he is the worst president in history. and bill clinton couldn't keep his pants on and he will be one of the better ones.

FDR, JFK, Jefferson would anyone want to strike these guys from the record?

We can always count on someone shop lifting the boody or sowing their wild oats, while the taxpayers take in the end.

Mittens must be spitting tacks.

But why would he call his girlfriend a "barrel"? :rofl:

They did it on the kitchen table!

I think McCain will be doing Viagra commercials after this election cycle is done.

:rofl:

Especially Grandpa!:scared:

Hey I gotta go over to freakrepublic and enjoy the show!:popcorn: