Itt's not just us: "Families feud over Clinton, Obama"

http://www.crainsnewyork.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080309/FREE/323934224

Howard Graubard and his wife, Sabina Tyrk, were on opposite sides for months—he with Sen. Hillary Clinton and she with Sen. Barack Obama—when matters came to a head one night at their home in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. Ms. Tyrk made it clear that her husband's advances would be for naught unless he switched allegiances.

“Sabina was unrelenting in trying to persuade me into voting for Obama, basically threatening me with a Lysistrata,” says Mr. Graubard, referring to the ancient Greek comedy in which women withhold sex from their husbands to end the Peloponnesian War.

Once united in their hatred of President George W. Bush, Democrats across the city are now uncharacteristically divided over the race to succeed him. In last month's New York primary, 55% went for Mrs. Clinton and 43% for Mr. Obama, but the numbers don't express the emotional chasm separating the otherwise like-minded liberals. The acrimony—which will linger until at least the April 22 Pennsylvania primary—has in some cases moved beyond the kitchen table to, yes, the bedroom.

Obama supporter Alan Cohen says he now argues politics all the time with his wife, Sandra, an avid Clintonite, who has begun donning a Hillary T-shirt at night. “She wears it as pajamas, so it's there in bed with me all the time,” says Mr. Cohen, 41, the chief marketing officer at employee benefits company Liazon. “And as I've gotten more and more involved in the Obama campaign, she's wearing it more and more, so it's definitely to annoy me.”

and she REALLY supports Obama. I'm not sure our love can survive...

First of all, Hillary and Obama are what, about five degrees apart on the issues and their plans. If you are allowing politics to have that much prominence in your life, you're putting waaay too much emphasis on the matter and both parties need to get a grip and back away.

Hell, I've got dyed in the wool RWers in my family and I get along fine with them, even when we do talk politics. My wife and I, even if we do have different candidates that we're supporting(and rarely is that the case) never let that sort of stupid shit get in the way of our relationship.

It's just plain stupid. Ease up, take a chill pill, back away. Don't ruin your relationship over something like politics.

and espouses values and views that are very different from yours?

For instance - how can a black woman be married to a klan member who would/has lynched people who look like her? I just don't get it.

Is it that the views are not that important? Can you say, "Yeah, they are a racist homoophobe, but that is OK with me because ...

Please explain.

You've got to understand, I'm living in a red county in a red state, out in the rural boonies. Pretty much all of my neighbors are conservative. However being neighbors, out in a rural area, you've got to get along at least to some extent or another. Do we talk about politics, yes, and my neighbors fully know where I stand. But politics isn't emphasized, it isn't the be all and end all of our relationship. We're more concerned about the weather, calving, helping each other out. Sure, I try to persuade them to be vote Democratic, and it actually works sometimes. But it is the simple matter that we have to get along that smooths over many things. Same with my family, we have to get along because we are family, whether you like it or no. What, are you going to disown your family because they're conservative? Sorry, but I went down that path of disowning a family member(not over politics) and it's not a pleasant path to travel. So you simply don't let your politics dominate your relationship. There are plenty of other things out there that family and friends can bond around other than politics. Don't get me wrong, I get my shots in, and I will call them on their bullshit when it comes up. But politics isn't the be all and end all of our relationship. Hope that makes sense.

I guess everthing is relative (comparable to something else). I liken it to having a child molester in the family, but because they are related, it is OK to let them babysit my young daughter.

To each their own.

And I still cannot see how a Democrat can be married to a repuke.

This is the first time it's ever happened, too.

At first we were both for Edwards. When he didn't win Iowa (there had been some projections at the last minute that he would) I was far more upset than my boyfriend was. I knew that it spelled the end of his candidacy. Once Edwards dropped out, I went for Hillary, he went for Obama.

Since I have always been to the left of him, I started asking questions - why? What is it about Obama that you like? Healthcare? War?

All I get are vague answers about personality. I know that he doesn't like Hillary's voice (fed and fostered by Fox, Stephanie Miller, etc.), though every time he actually sees her do a debate or speech, he always likes her better. We can barely talk about it. I asked him straight out if it mattered to him if we ever had a woman president in our lifetime, and he said no. Yikes! The wedge was inserted!

But he won't talk about it. He gets very mad and accuses me of being angry (I think we're both angry at this point). He simply will not discuss anything but personality. Of course, I don't particularly care for BO's personality. It rubs me the wrong way (sorry, BO supporters). My boyfriend's arguments that personality is so important fall flat with me. That's the justification people used for electing Reagan and Bush, two of our worst presidents ever! Of course, I never saw the draw of Reagan's personality either.

So we can't talk about politics in our house, which is sad, because it's one of the things that's always connected us. Thank goodness for SNL. He won't listen to ME, but did get the point of their skits, which softened him up a little.

What is that called?

which is really not an OK thing to do.

I have learned to not talk about this election with my wife. She is a Hillary supporter.