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I'm raising my 6 year old daughter, while her mother lives 1,200 miles away. Her mum can't afford to help at this time.
I just lost my job end of last month. Lots of nibbles, no bites yet. For now, assuming unemployment comes though, I can make ends meet for a little bit longer.
I've seen my buying power go straight to hell in the last 8 years, I've seen everything this country used to stand for be shat on.
I spent a year living and working in the Middle East to make sure my daughter was provided for. In that time I discovered just how badly we've fallen in the world's eyes.
But I figured it would change in 2008. After all, people HAD to wake up sometime. And while my first choice for president (Gen. Wesley Clark) didn't run, there was such a wealth of people on the Democratic side that I figured we had an awesome chance. There were even a couple decent people on the GOP side that could have taken their party back from the NeoCon / Religious junta.
And gradually all the experienced people left, (including Gov. Richardson, who I thought was the best of the lot). And what was left?
The GOP had the 2008 version of Sen. McCain, who had rewritten himself from a "maverick" that told off the religious right, to a kowtowing lickspittle toady willing to push the same NeoCon crap that is destroying this country.
And the Democrats? We had a choice between:
Sen. Clinton, who had from day one acted like the nomination was just a formality and that the little people would get in line to vote for her. Never mind that the Right Wing had been frothing at the mouth to push her as the Democratic nominee ever since she became the jr. Senator from New York. What positive messages she put out were drowned in the aura of entitlement she projected, and it felt like she was running on her husband's resume, hoping that longing for the Clinton years would make people vote for her.
And the fact that the Right Wing wanted her so badly as the Democratic nominee made me worry a lot that they were trying to game the system to insure a GOP win. Failing that, would at least have someone who was "GOP-lite". Still, I figured she would be better than McCain, and at least slow down the downward spiral this country was in.
and
Sen. Obama, a relative newcomer to national politics, (though with more elected experience than Sen. Clinton). An apparent cypher, unknown to most. Lacking in experience, some good ideas, but over all it seemed like he may have been better to wait for another cycle. Maybe in 10 years, but now?? No. Besides which, I can't see his background playing well in so-called "red states", and I figured the "fix was in" from party insiders who were already going to go for Sen. Clinton.
In all, three uninspiring choices. Sen. Obama being marginally better than Sen. Clinton, and both being better than Sen. McCain v. 2008.
Then something happened. Sen. Obama started winning states. And delegates. And more and more his message started to get out there. And Sen. Clinton went from someone who assumed she had this in the bag and that the election was a mere formality, to someone who started saying and promoting the same right wing lies and liars that demonized her, her husband, and her daughter. And then there was saying that Sen. McCain would be better than Sen. Obama, a fellow Democrat. The Bosnia sniper lie. The faux outrage over whatever scandal they could make up. Inceasingly arrogant, insulting, and abusive behaviour from her campaigners and supporters. The politics of entitlement, and an attitude towards the American people of "don't worry your empty little heads, vote for Sen. Clinton and we'll take care of you. Unless you live in a state that didn't vote for me, in which case you don't count" Discounting those states that she lost, and creating faux outrage about two states that broke the rules that members of her campaign staff created in the first place. And over all else, the fake "if you don't support me unquestionably you're sexist" theme that pervaded her campaign, her supporters, and her attitude.
However, it seemed like nothing stuck. That the politics of destruction and made-up outrage didn't seem to be working in the case of Sen. Obama. That he took each blow not as something to bring him down or make some excuse for, but as a challenge to overcome.
And I started thinking "if he can overcome the challenges on the election trail, then he has a good chance of overcoming the challenges in office. Hmmmm....."
And the more I looked, I saw a person who actually told the truth about how things stand in the United States. Not empty promises and platitudes, but truth.
Then came the bitter speech. And you know what?
He was right again. People in this country ARE bitter about how things stand right now. People are seeing their jobs, their future being shipped overseas by the same companies that support Sen. McCain and Sen. Clinton. People are tired of not having health care, good paying jobs. People are bitter because the chances their parents had are disappearing or are already gone. In rural areas, the "rust belt", Detroit, all over the United States, people are tired of pie crust promises. And those in power spooked because those pie crust promises are what drove them into power in the first place.
Which is why we have the Admirals Son and the multi-Millionare calling Sen. Obama "elitist" and a "snob". Because Gods forbid people actually THINK about the reality of what he said.
People ARE bitter. People are angry. And people are hopeful that we can come out of it. Because we've had better days and can see what this country is capable of.
It's interesting to note that Sen. Obama has said his words could have been a bit better. Which is true. But he didn't repute the message behind those words. And well he shouldn't. Because he's right.
So yeah, I'm bitter. I'm angry. I hate the way this country is going, and despair at those who want to keep it on the same path to ruin.
I have to be careful of the money I spend right now. I need to focus on important things, food, rent, the liquid gold that is gasoline prices.
That being said, for the first time today since I supported Wes Clark in 2004, I donated $10 to Sen. Obama's campaign. It's not much, but it's what I can afford until I'm back to work.
And once that happens, I'll be happy to send more. Because Sen. Obama has gone from being "the best of a bad lot", to the best chance we have.
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