Who Should Obama Add to the "Axis of Evil"

We all know that bad things come in threes, with the exception of the Baldwin brothers. Now that both Iraq and North Korea have "graduated" from the Axis of Evil, it will be up to the Obama Administration to name their replacements. The following are the leading contenders and the pro's and con's of adding them to the list:

Syria

In Favor: A dictatorial government that harshly oppresses political opponents. The country is suspected of providing financial and military support Islamic terrorists operating in Iraq.

Against: Prior to be coming President, Bashar al-Assad had been the head of the Syrian Computer Society and is responsible for bringing the Internet to his country. Does anybody see any military glory in defeating the President of the Damascus Middle School Chess Club?


Cuba

In Favor: Longtime nemesis of the United States that allows fugitives from American justice to live openly. Its government allows no political opposition and is known to have provided support to revolutionary groups around the globe:

Against: Fidel Castro is now eight years older than Wilford Brimley. At this point it’s safe to say that Castro’s reign in Cuba will last only slightly longer than Brittney Spear’s Comeback Tour.


China

In Favor: Suspected of selling nuclear secrets to developing nations. China has a repressive regime that is so corrupt that it can’t even respond to natural disasters. Their oppression of religious minorities is well-documented.

Against: Fucking HUGE military. Plus they have nukes. We don’t want any part of that.


Sudan

In Favor: Has provided shelter to the Lord’s Resistance Army in its civil war with the Ugandan Government. Largely responsible for the genocide in the Darfur Region, which has claimed the lives of as many as a half million citizens.

Against: A regrettable lack of mineral resources means that the Sudan is not suitable for inclusion in the Axis of Evil.


Australia

In Favor: Terrible discrimination against its native population. Government still hasn’t apologized for either “Crocodile Dundee” or “Crocodile Dundee II.” In the event of an invasion and occupation, there’s plenty of beachfront property and decent beer.

Against: We’re pretty sure Russell Crowe could kick our ass.


Canada

In Favor: Canadian-style health care system keeps providing talking points to liberal blogosphere. Their Alberta Clippers keep freezing us half to death during the winter, but do they send any cool breezes in the summer when we could really use it? No. Thanks for nothing, fuckheads!

Against: An invasion of Canada would cause economic hardship and social unrest in Canada, potentially re-igniting the career of Gordon Lightfoot.


France

In Favor: As if the French Poodle were not reason enough, there’s also the barbaric tradition of making fois gras and their continuing affection for Jerry Lewis. And Bridgette Bardot turned out to be a right-wing lunatic.

Against: Can’t think of anything at the moment, but I’m sure something will come to me.

We'd like to help out. Really. We would. But we're just swamped right now.

:eyes:

The Aramaic root of the word "evil" means "unripe."

That suggests something that requires more sunlight (aka consciousness), nourishment, water (aka emotional support), and time (patience), though I've heard no one else elucidate it as such, but most metaphysicians don't live on farms. That perspective sure beats all the tiresomely unenlightened dualistic shadow projection that is bandied about so much these days.

Peace.

What did you say again?

have fun dear but you may just go blind ya know. . .

Raul Castro took over in 2006 but was elected president February 2008. remember?

I think all Chihuahuas living in America should be suspect. Mine has tried to take over the house for a year and a half.

The evil Chihuahua! Do not trust them!

Because he's such a cuties wittle schmoogie-woogums. Yes he is!

...and just for reference, this is no "Axis of Adorable"

Now you are in real trouble. She's marching her little Mexican feet toward Milwaukee right now... she'll reach you in exactly 7 years. Watch your back!

Get me James Dobson on the phone!!

D'oh! He's from Chicago. Guess not...

Different List.

That's incompetent?

:rofl:

Rumsfeld, Rice, Armitage, Libby, Gonzales, Tenet, Powell, Snow, Fleischer, Perino...

:eyes:

Not because they're evil. They need the publicity. It's a nation that has mountains 23,000 high and
rain forests. They value the environment and they were rated "the happiest country in Asia and the
eighth happiest country in the world."

Don't you think they're getting a pass?

They need our attention to screw things up. Hey, we did it before in Lebanon and Cambodia.

Let's go get 'em (and grab the rights to their flag too; a classic)

I, for one, would be proud to surrender without a single shot fired.

Like "The Mouse that Roared" ;)

:hi:

;)

which is what enables the TRUE evil.

claims on our oil in the arctic. I suspect they are secretly implementing a nuclear weapons program. Bomb them.

Bombing Canada would be useless if she wasn't the first casualty.

...that would be silly.

They are bombed. This is what got them on the unpublished Axis list.

:think:

I wish somebody would impose some sanctions for playing that stuff. Jeez. Enough is enough.