Science debate 2008..... One more reason McCain wishes he wasn't a Republican

Here's what's going on while the McCain people choose to discuss pigs:

38,000 scientists from around the country submitted over 3,000 questions they'd like to hear the candidates answer in their own words. The questions were pared down to 14.

Those 14 questions were presented to both campaigns, but only one candidate responded immediately with comprehensive, complete, and articulate answers.

John McCain has chosen to stall, but promises to reply eventually.
Personally, I believe they're hoping that the "problem" goes away if they ignore it long enough, because let's face it, for a campaign tuned to silly bumper sticker issues, this can cause very real conflict among his base.

Here are Obama's answers:
http://www.sciencedebate2008.com/www/index.php?id=40

In the interest of fair play, I'll help the McCain people by suggesting answers that will help cement his support from Barstool Republicans while satisfying the scientific community.

I hope other DUers don't think I'm aiding and abbeting, but I've followed McCain's campaign for some time, and I don't think it's too hard to surrogate his views.

1: 1. Innovation. Science and technology have been responsible for half of the growth of the American economy since WWII. But several recent reports question America’s continued leadership in these vital areas. What policies will you support to ensure that America remains the world leader in innovation?
First, let me point out that the economy is strong. Next, I'd have to question those who say we are no longer the leader in science and technology, but I digress. I would institute the policy of "USA! USA! We're #1". Does that answer your question French boy?

2: Climate Change. The Earth’s climate is changing and there is concern about the potentially adverse effects of these changes on life on the planet. What is your position on the following measures that have been proposed to address global climate change—a cap-and-trade system, a carbon tax, increased fuel-economy standards, or research? Are there other policies you would support?
The climate has been changing since Noah built his ark. Back then it rained a lot, but now we're facing droughts in the south and midwest. Before we start wasting federal money on boondoggles, I think we should wonder if perhaps such climactic changes are out of our hands. Already I see flooding returning to the more sinful states, while the state I represent has sunny days all year 'round. Kinda tells you something, doesn't it?

3: Energy. Many policymakers and scientists say energy security and sustainability are major problems facing the United States this century. What policies would you support to meet demand for energy while ensuring an economically and environmentally sustainable future?
What part of "drill here, drill now" don't you science people understand? We all know there's more oil under Florida than all of the Middle East, and Sarah tells me the caribou in her state love the oil companies. It seems they bring extra snacks in their lunch buckets to feed the wildlife. Republicans understand that if we drill here today, gas prices will be $1 a gallon next Monday.

4: Education. A comparison of 15-year-olds in 30 wealthy nations found that average science scores among U.S. students ranked 17th, while average U.S. math scores ranked 24th. What role do you think the federal government should play in preparing K-12 students for the science and technology driven 21st Century?
I think education should be about choices. It's okay to teach kids complicated "theories" about science, but they should also explore other possibilities. Children will wonder about human reproduction, but it can easily be explained using the example of a snake and an apple. Kids can learn about creation of the universe in the first chapter of the right book, and move on to other stories... uh facts. With the right curriculum, our children can skip right ahead to graduate at 15. Try that Europe!

5: National Security. Science and technology are at the core of national security like never before. What is your view of how science and technology can best be used to ensure national security and where should we put our focus?
Iraq! Iraq, my friend, is the central front on the war on terror. A good example of how this has advanced technology is to go back before the surge, when I was strongly against the war. Since then we've developed new technology to keep winning the war, and I say we continue using science to discover new ways to keep winning through the 21st century.

6: Pandemics and Biosecurity. Some estimates suggest that if H5N1 Avian Flu becomes a pandemic it could kill more than 300 million people. In an era of constant and rapid international travel, what steps should the United States take to protect our population from global pandemics or deliberate biological attacks?
My health care plan takes this issue off the table. If every American buys the best insurance they can afford and prays for good health, we can nip this in the bud. Those who opt not to purchase a health care plan may not fare well when it comes to epidemics, but I suspect it's because they didn't have a prayer when it came to their health.

7. Genetics research. The field of genetics has the potential to improve human health and nutrition, but many people are concerned about the effects of genetic modification both in humans and in agriculture. What is the right policy balance between the benefits of genetic advances and their potential risks?
I don't often discuss it, but I was in a prisoner of war camp during the Vietnam war. While I was there I didn't get much nutrition and my health wasn't too good either (grins broadly).

8: Stem cells. Stem cell research advocates say it may successfully lead to treatments for many chronic diseases and injuries, saving lives, but opponents argue that using embryos as a source for stem cells destroys human life. What is your position on government regulation and funding of stem cell research?
Did I mention I was a prisoner of war?

9. Ocean Health. Scientists estimate that some 75 percent of the world’s fisheries are in serious decline and habitats around the world like coral reefs are seriously threatened. What steps, if any, should the United States take during your presidency to protect ocean health?
I don't mean to sound like a broken record here, but if we start drilling offshore we can bring back the marine life that was destroyed by liberal tree hugging. I mean all that undersea oil can't possibly be good for fish or coral, I say get it the heck out of there and into the tanks of our SUVs, my friend.

10: Water. Thirty-nine states expect some level of water shortage over the next decade, and scientific studies suggest that a majority of our water resources are at risk. What policies would you support to meet demand for water resources?
I think a higher intelligence than you eggheads has already heard our call for clean water and has delivered it under the names Fay, Gustav, and Hanna. It's truly a miracle that some Americans who need a glass of water can just stand on the front porch, and the glass will fill itself. I can't believe you nerds aren't satisfied with that.

11. Space. The study of Earth from space can yield important information about climate change; focus on the cosmos can advance our understanding of the universe; and manned space travel can help us inspire new generations of youth to go into science. Can we afford all of them? How would you prioritize space in your administration?
The McCain administration will favor space exploration, but we do have to prioritize until we free up spending. First we can launch more satellites to replace those aging relics hovering above our enemies, then as my tax cuts take effect and the cash flows in, we can move toward a mission to turn around the Hubble to better study the Earth. I think with that baby focused in, we could read Maliki's lips in Baghdad.

12: Scientific Integrity. Many government scientists report political interference in their job. Is it acceptable for elected officials to hold back or alter scientific reports if they conflict with their own views, and how will you balance scientific information with politics and personal beliefs in your decision-making?
There will be no conflict or interference between science and a McCain administration. I plan to grant the power of appointment for government scientists to my vice president. I'm sure her scientific experts will see to it no conflicting reports or interference will ever see the light of day.

13: Research. For many years, Congress has recognized the importance of science and engineering research to realizing our national goals. Given that the next Congress will likely face spending constraints, what priority would you give to investment in basic research in upcoming budgets?
As you know, I'm a maverick who's accustomed to working across the aisle. I think if the whine ass liberals in Congress can't wait for my corporate tax cuts to take effect, they can go research the friggin' science of pounding NaCl.

14. Health. Americans are increasingly concerned with the cost, quality and availability of health care. How do you see science, research and technology contributing to improved health and quality of life?
I seldom talk about my time in the Hanoi Hilton, but while I was there I had to rely on socialized medicine from a Communist country. I can't tell you how relieved I was to return home to my own Navy health care paid by the American taxpayers. Later, when I won my Senate seat and I got an improved government health plan, I was able to begin looking into the costs and quality for the average citizen. I think the free market will take care of improving the health of 99% of Americans.