"Pig" is short for "republican."

Early on in the 2008 presidential campaign, John McCain made a commitment to himself and to the American people to run a dishonorable and dishonest negative campaign. John McCain has fulfilled this commitment with a bizarre and enthusiastic zeal. How republican.

It is bizarre because a man who once rightfully was described as an American hero has become completely anti-American, pompously and royally proclaiming through his campaign spokesmen that no issue important to the American people should be a part of the 2008 presidential campaign. Yes, your Majesty. How very republican.

McCain's enthusiastic zeal for his dishonorable and dishonest campaign is apparent as he stands behind Sarah Palin acting as her Mini-Me while she delivers the canned republican presidential campaign speech full of lies. He stands there staring at her ass, bobbing his head, strangely rubbing his fingers, grinning maniacally, and bouncing up and down like a spastic, organ grinder monkey. He looks very much like an odd blend of Humphrey Bogart describing his search for the missing strawberries in "The Caine Mutiny" and Jack Nicholson breaking through the bathroom door in "The Shining." John McCain has become a sad and pathetic caricature of the typical republican politician. How long will it be until we hear him explaining his "wide stance" or confessing his diaper wearing sins? How very, very republican

Believe it or not, there may have been a time in his professional political career when John McCain attempted to behave honorably and honestly. Of course he has had a few occasional lapses, such as: his first campaign for public office; his greedy and enthusiastic participation in the "Keating Five" criminal bribery conspiracy; his adulterous sexual affair with a woman much younger and wealthier than his then current wife; his devious federal funding through a make believe charity of his favorite lobbyists' lifestyles as he pretended to criticize the wealth and influence of those same lobbyists; his recent hiring of all the lobbyists he could find to run his current campaign for president; his miserable, cowardly, and abject failure to make any attempt to defend his adopted daughter and his then current wife from the scurrilous, foul, filthy, and false negative attacks launched by George W. Bush and his republican party minions during the 2000 republican primaries. . . . And so it goes. Seemingly forever. How very republican. How very, very republican.

Perhaps describing a consistent pattern of behavior as "occasional lapses" is not entirely accurate. Maybe even a lie, unless you are a republican. But I am certain . . . er . . . I am relatively certain . . . er . . . I am somewhat certain . . . er . . . I am absolutely certain . . . yes I am absolutely certain . . . that I think that it may be possible that there may have been a time or two during his professional political career when John McCain attempted to behave in an honorable and honest manner. After all he did ultimately marry the younger and wealthier woman, thereby acquiring some houses, although no one, including John McCain, can remember how many. (Too many houses to count? That must be nice.) But it obviously is theoretically possible, regardless of how unlikely, that there has been an occasion on which John McCain behaved in an honorable and honest manner during his professional political career. Come on ! It's possible. Though not very republican.

I had intended to recount in this narrative some of the particular instances of John McCain's dishonorable and dishonest behavior during this campaign. However, my computer informs me that I have only 4 gigabytes of memory available. Obviously, this is wholly inadequate. However, it is possible to use "the Google," on the "Internets" (if the tubes are working) to identify occasions when John McCain, or one of his spokesmen, has made a public or private statement relating to the 2008 presidential campaign. Each of those statements is an example of John McCain's dishonorable and dishonest negative campaign.

By the way, "pig" is short for "republican."