Alan Keyes really needs to get laid. - Democratic Underground

Kid_A

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Thu Sep-02-04 09:48 AM
Original message

Alan Keyes really needs to get laid.

I was listening to him last night explaining that all homosexuals are selfish hedonists because they have sex only for pleasure, not procreation. So by this rationale, anyone who has ever used a condom to protect themselves from disease is also a hedonist.

Maybe Alan is just following the old party line and totally ignoring AIDS, but I think he's just a bitter, undersexed man who DESPERATELY needs to get some.

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Catherine Vincent

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Thu Sep-02-04 09:51 AM
Response to Original message

1. Who would want to lay with that mofo?

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Kid_A

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Thu Sep-02-04 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #1

3. There are people in NYC whose job it is to lay mofos.

That's why it's so ironic that Alan "Blue Balls" Keyes chose to rail against "hedonism" during his party's convention in New York City, a town not exactly famous for it's self-control.

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hatrack

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Thu Sep-02-04 09:52 AM
Response to Original message

2. But only for procreative purposes!!!

To do otherwise would make him a shameful hedonist!!!

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mopaul

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Thu Sep-02-04 10:00 AM
Response to Original message

4. I suspect he's heavily closeted

like gary bauer

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LibDemAlways

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Thu Sep-02-04 10:15 AM
Response to Original message

5. So if an elderly or otherwise

infertile couple has sex, they are, in his warped mind, "selfish hedonists." Alan has more than one screw loose. I'm looking forward to the trouncing he's going to take Nov. 2.

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henslee

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Thu Sep-02-04 10:23 AM
Response to Original message

6. Go for it, Kid A. (snicker)

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Kid_A

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Thu Sep-02-04 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #6

7. There's not enough alcohol in the world

to get me drunk enough to go anywhere near that man's shriveled, neglected loins.

I'm not gay, but I assume you were implying that I should "take one for the team" and give Alan a happy ending...

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zbdent

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Thu Sep-02-04 10:42 AM
Response to Original message

8. And, in high school, I thought I had trouble trying to get any girl to

take one for the team and fall on the grenade to save the troops . . .

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