An Open Letter to Cindy McCain From a Gold Star Mom

Published on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 by CommonDreams.org
An Open Letter to Cindy McCain From a Gold Star Mom

by Diane Santoriello

I am really upset over your statement about how you felt about Sen. Obama's refusal to vote for war funding. Usually, I am loath to criticize any blue or gold star parent for their political views, but I must speak to your incendiary comments.

As the mother of a fallen solider, I feel betrayed by your husband. Senator McCain not only backed this unjust misbegotten war; he wanted it. Where was Senator McCain when there were not enough troops and not enough equipment? Why didn't he push for no-bid contracts on IED jammers? Why didn't he demand an articulated exit strategy?

My son was killed on Aug. 13, 2004. With a knock on the door, my world as I knew it ended. Prior to his death, I publicly checked my feelings about the mishandling of the war so as not to damage his career. Still wallowing in grief I forced myself to speak out about a month after his death. Too much was at stake; there was an election coming, so I started speaking out first in an op-ed then in public speeches calling for a change in strategy and the resignation of Rumsfeld. The night George Bush was reelected I cried myself to sleep. I felt that I had failed my dead son and his men. The next morning once again, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and stepped back into the fray.

As the situation in Iraq deteriorated, I knew that taking our position on the war to the public was not enough. Along with other Gold Star and Blue Star families I went to the Hill asking congressmen and senators to defund the war. Some sympathetic legislators and their aides told me that to do so would be political suicide. Many agreed that we weren't winning and that there was enough money in the pipeline to support the current troops if finding were cut. Yet they would not go public and vote to defund the war. When the man who always championed soldiers, Jack Murtha took his courageous stand, others fell in line.

My son was an honorable man who died because of the actions of dishonorable men. When our son died, my husband and I took up his mission to protect his men. At one time our family thought Senator McCain to be an honorable man. But where was his honor in holding his tongue about the prosecution of the war? Where was his judgment?

I admire men like Senator Obama for voting to fund the war only when the bill had a timeline for an orderly withdrawal. Others like Senator McCain voted to fund the war without a timeline.

Mrs. Cain, I have long seen that those in the anti-war movement cared more for the health and welfare of our returning troops than your husband demonstrated. Mrs. McCain, when your husband casts the votes he did, when he refused to support the GI bill, when came too late to the crisis in the healthcare for our troops, I believe that he demonstrated a lack of responsibility. You ask Senator Obama to walk your shoes for a day? He has walked in mine. He "gets it." I cannot bring my beloved son back. I only hope to keep other parents from seeing their son die in a war and occupation that should never have been. This is why I work for Senator Obama. On November fourth I will not cry myself to sleep. Instead as I reach to turn out the light I plan to look at my son's picture and say, "We did it. We turned the corner, my beloved; we have our exit strategy. We finally have our true man of honor."

Sincerely in the hope that no other mother walks in my shoes,

Diane Davis Santoriello
Proud mother of 1st. Lt. Neil A. Santoriello Jr.
KIA 8-13-04 Khalidiya, Iraq

more at:
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2008/10/15-5

recommended. No words.

k & r :cry:

You made me cry!!!! I know how hard this is for you to write as I too had my son die due to negligence from the VA.So many beautiful innocent lives have been lost and i cry for all of them.I am so glad you took the time to tell simpleton sarah what she needs to know.
I am going to send this to Cindy .She also will be so proud of you for writing it.
Judy

I hope more mothers speak up!

I can't stop crying now, that was poignant and beautiful! :cry:

:kick: for this brave woman, and her son.

What a beautiful tribute to her son.

I too will think of those men and women we lost for this lie when we can finally say 'President Elect Obama' :D

crying right here.

So very sorry about your fallen son, 1st Lt. Neil A. Santoriello Jr., Diane Davis Santoriello and thank you so much for writing this extraordinary letter to cindy mccain.

My deepest sympathies for your loss. I fear that Ms. McCain's indifference to your loss is symptomatic of the Republican mindset regarding our troops. They love them when they look clean and shiny in their uniforms, and rejoice when we blow things up. But when they come home maimed and troubled, the Republicans see them as a disgrace, they are now broken toys to be disgarded as they can no longer provide the fun they require. Their treatment of those who fall is even more reprehensible. They are either ignored altogether, or used as props, behind which they hide, and claim that none can criticize them as they snatch the flag that reverently drapes your sons coffin, to wrap their lies in. I fear that your words will not affect Ms. McCain, she is too far gone to realize the awful human cost of her husbands empty ambitions.

That said, I thank you for your courage and willingness to share what is obviously painful for you. May we, as an electorate honor the sacrifice of your son, and countless others this November, and elect Barack Obama as our President.

In sympathy and solidarity,

Sidney Carton

:patriot:

has turned her grief into action and worked to rid this nation and the world of the plague of useless endless war laid on us by war mongers like Bush, Cheney and McCain.
There was a time not long ago when she would have been marginalized by the radical right and their handmaidens in the corporate media. We have turned the corner as Bush and his minions are wont to say, but we're going in a new direction. There's a new dawn on the horizon and as Brack Obama widens his lead the days get brighter.
To everyone who has sacrificed in Bush's misbegotten military adventure" Yes we can; we must.
And in the words of Holocaust survivors, "Never again."

Thank you, Mrs. Santoriello.

:cry:

Those are all the words I have at the moment.

Bake

nt

Thank God that I have not received that knock on the door. My heart goes out to this mother and to all of those whose sons, daughters, husbands or wives have not come home. I only have about 3 more weeks until my husband is out of Iraq, but I still live in fear that something will happen to him. John McCain has been no friend to the soldier, no friend to the Veteran.