A friend of mine who doesn't know she's racist, said --

"I saw an ad for Obama -- was his mother white?" When I said yes, she said " that's a GOOD commercial to run!" I also added that his grandfather served in WWII, his grandmother worked for the war effort then worked her way up into management at the bank, etc.

I thought everybody on the planet knew Obama's heritage - so I'm glad they ARE running this, especially if it helps people like her look at him in a different light. (In NC, by the way.)

are still racist in this day and age. They may change much more slowly than we would wish, but we have hope as long as they're taking small steps in the right direction.

people see him trying to help us, and maybe giving us some relief, that their bigotry will slowly fade. And that they end up looking at him and not seeing his race at all. May be a fantasy, but I believe his presidency will go far in changing race relations in our country.

People who don't realize they are racist are evolving! You cannot be an intelligent person and decide a race like this in skin color terms!

mom and asked me if that was his mother. I said yes, his mom was white and his father was from Africa. Her reaction?..."Cool". Slowly but surely, this country will change.

Perhaps there's more to her story you're not mentioning but almost all of us have our prejudices, even progressives. The difference between us and the reactionaries is we fight our prejudices while they embrace them.

would never vote for a black man.

The only reason this even sparked a 'well maybe' is because she's voted Democratic all her life, and she was toying with the idea of sitting this out because she didn't want to vote for McCain, either.

n/t

She's a good person and she and I stay far away from this subject.

It's hard to explain how some people can have a racist upbringing and still be good, honest people.

But I don't know if I'd choose a friend who had that attitude.

And, honestly, no-one racist can be a truly good person.

I've known these people all of my life. I call someone who always has my back and would never lie to or steal from me my friend. The truth is that they don't know any better. I consider them handicapped in that regard. They know I don't want to hear it and we don't discuss it when we're together.

so I'll choose my friends based on their goodness, and disagree with you that no one racist can be a truly good person.

And really, the OP wasn't about me at all, was it. But if you want to judge me for my friendships, have at it.

As for good person/racist issue: I just don't know how thinking another race of human beings are sub-human can really make you a nice person. Even if you do have other good qualities. In this day and age there's no excuse for it.

I never think of Helms or Wallace and go those guys are the salt of the earth.

Almost all of the most horrible people ever had some folks they were decent to but that doesn't offset their wickedness.

were vile, hateful, stupid people.

I met so many wonderful people here, who never whispered their true feelings about race to me, probably because I was a liberal from Seattle.

I was met with kindness, help, hospitality -- these people would do anything for another. Good people.

Then, a racist slip would occur and they'd look at me and apologize.

I attribute their racism to ignorance, to being taught that way as they grew up, to being in a culture where it was once so acceptable.

They try their best, and I know that many are trying to overcome their beliefs and feelings, but it's a struggle when that's what you've grown up believing all your life. Logic doesn't trump beliefs. Look at Sarah Palin and her ilk when it comes to evolution.

These people have good hearts, and if there's a little darkness in them, I'll just love them for the good and hope that my example might help them let go of their fear and hatred.

At least they are in my book.

Regards

But I respect everyone's tolerance level -

At least it was where I came from. The word "racist" wasn't in their limited thesaurus I guess. :)

Racism is a behavior and bigotry is a belief. Racism is more evil and must always be rejected and condemned. Racism is very difficult to alter. Bigotry often is the result of ignorance and upbringing and can be altered more easily with exposure and information.

The friends I speak of are basically Archie Bunker type bigots. They really don't know any better.

except that he was fairly intelligent and well read. But he would read only right wing propaganda on political issues until I got him a computer and put him online. He still read the right wing bullshit but he liked to do research and more and more often he would mention to me that he had discovered another lie from the right wing. He and I had strong political disagreements and frequently had some ugly arguments but we always could put them aside.

You can be racist and you can be a bigot, but when you ACT on that treat the target of your racism in a negative way and discrimate because of it - that's when it gets really bad.


Not that any of it is good.

on the school bus ride home, my daughter had a "debate" with a senior who insisted that Obama is a Muslim, and that he's "really not black -- he's an Arab." It surprised my daughter that anyone could be that ignorant at this late date.

Sad, but true.

Muslim, Arab, not a US citizen. They only heard the stuff they wanted to hear, and didn't bother about the facts that came out disproving the falsehoods.

I don't think they're going to change their minds, and I honestly believe it's because he's Black. The other 'reasons' are just convenient excuses to keep denying to themselves that they're racist. Or prejudiced, as I've been corrected.

is the correct word.

and replace "Muslim" and/or "terrorist" with a racial slur of your choice

That's what they really mean.

I too have been surprised at what I assumed everyone knew. Here in Calif we have the prop 8 (a yes vote makes marriage only between a man and woman), and I have heard more than a couple people say that they are voting YES on prop 8 because they think there is nothing wrong with gay marriage. They are voting yes when they should be voting no. I want to bash my head against the wall sometimes. But I gently correct them when I can. Their hearts are in the right place, but it scares me that they plan to vote without even understanding the bare minimum, like what a yes or no vote is for.

they usually rely on what a friend tells them. It's a bit alarming, but understandable, I guess.

Maybe the way to portray it is, Yes on 8 = Special rights for bigots.

Then alrighty then! :pals:

Personal experience - I *think* sometimes when encountering people who don't have much interaction with black folks - I make people feel at ease because of my features and heritage. Okay - I put it out there. It is what it is. I think that there is a small segment of bigots that don't WANT to be bigots - but then they encounter a bi-racial person (me_ who talks with someone else of German/French/Irish heritage about her "Mother's wooden spoon that hung on the wall to incite fear . . ." and the walls start to come down. ;-)

vote for the white half of him!"

Its such a beautiful thing. And its been a long time coming.

they won't bother examining their attitudes as to whether they're bigoted or not. I've seen it.

How can she not know she's a racist?

Regards

Some of the very people who'd come to my funeral if I died, who were there for me when my father and my siblings died, and who'd come see me in the hospital if I got really sick -- are like this. I have cried buckets of tears in anger and frustration and despair at their bigotry, and sometimes I just want to fucking SHAKE them until they see sense.

I have this feeling that Obama *might* be able to win them over. He'll have to be elected, of course, and then he'll have to make changes that help working and middle class folks. The more they see him on TV and in the papers, doing stuff that WORKS and that is good and right...the more it'll get through to them that we are all a lot more alike than we are different.

I suspect his life story will get a good chuck of that time.

Although I consider racists vile and stupid people, not knowing that not liking people because of their race makes you a racist is beyond the bounds of credibility.

In addition, I find the idea of having to sell his white mother as a plus repugnant. So if Obama's mother was black as well he wouldn't be good enough?

That'll be a great lesson to teach my nieces and nephew.

The lengths to which some people will go to excuse racism in this country is incredible. I am not sure which part of this story disgusts me more.

Regards

you have to understand it. Bigots are raised in a society that not only condones racism, but implies that it is socially unacceptable to think otherwise. It's that whole conformity thing. I think that for some older people, this election is the first time in their life, that they are freeing themselves from the societal constraints of how they themselves view race.

I understand it all too well. But I'm not inclined to make bigots feel at all less uncomfortable with their vile stupidity by pretending that it's merely conformity. Even when racism was at its most virulent there were people who were not bigots willing to subjugate others based on some undeserved superiority complex. And now even when racism is supposed to be unacceptable we've still got people who apparently need to see evidence of whiteness in order for the black candidate to be deemed acceptable. This is not my definition of freeing oneself form societal constraints when it concerns race. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

These people know they're wrong. They know they're racists. Whether or not that changes... I have no idea but merely voting for a black man because his mother was white does not a freeing of societal constraints make.

Regards

No can do. It's wrong and frankly, not in my personal best interest. "Understanding" bigots will not eradicate bigotry.

Regards

the racism that they were brought up with.

Regards

To be clear, we weren't really "friends" friends, anyway, but, still..I've known her for a few years, and I had no idea she was racist until the subject of the election came up, and then the cracka-ass-cracka in her came out in full force LOL After trying several times to explain to her why she should not be afraid of Obama, she shot me down with more stubborn and ignorant myths and reasons. "Why do you like him" she kept asking. That was the last straw. I told her to cut off all ties with me because I don't associate with racist bigots, and that was the end of that. And the sad thing is...she's sweet as can be...but I can't continue to be friends with her knowing that she's willfully being ignorant about the facts about Barack Obama. That's just me. As Burke said, "all that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing". If I continued to be friends with her, I would in fact be saying to her "your racial prejudice is okay with me". Sorry, but it's not.