Sarah Palin In Roswell New Mexico ...LOL

by randorider
Sun Oct 19, 2008 at 09:33:15 AM PDT
I've stumbled on the prepared remarks of Sarah Palin, campaigning in Roswell New Mexico today. Tickets are required and the event is sold out, so this might be your only chance to see what she has to say.

randorider's diary :: ::
Hello my fellow pro-America Americans. I am so happy to be here in New Mexico to talk to you today. When Senator McCain asked me to come to New Mexico and and tell you why Barack Obama is not pro-America I said "Whoa there Senator McCain, that's a bit mavericky of you sendin' me to another country to campaign, I suppose there might be some pro-Americans down there travellin' who could vote by absentee ballot, but shouldn't we stick to campaignin' the good ol' United States?" Who knew that New Mexico is a state? That was real Mavericky of you namin' your state after a foreign country. Welcome to the union! But if you ever get tired of bein' a state though I can give you Todd's number and he can help you out, also.

Now you know that I read all the newspapers that my staff lets me read. I also watch documentaries to learn stuff. Last night I was watchin' one called The X-Files, and I learned of the very special place that Roswell has in pro-American history. You guys here have this really special super secret military base where visitors from space stop in for some good old American hospitality. It's too bad those anti-American FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully keep messin' it up for you though. But when I'm president I'll put a stop to those terrorists, what with Scully provin' stuff with "facts" and what kind of name is Fox any way? That sounds like Wolf, so I can shoot him from a helicopter. I was gonna get a fox permit and give it to my dad to get him, then I remembered that one of the constitutional duties of the vice president is shootin' guys in the face. So look out Fox Mulder! And here's a shout out to all you aliens out there, whether you are here as tourists to sample all the delicious freedoms and liberties of our citizens or if you're just making a refueling stop on your way to Saturn, I still encourage you to sample our delicious citizens also.

I also learned that just down the road here near Alamogordo the very first nucular bomb was set of by the US Army back in 1945. Now I don't know what the US Army was doin' settin' off a nucular bomb in the United States, but it sounds like there must be some anti-American terrorists in the Army who set off that nucular bomb here in America, but let me tell you when I'm president and have my finger on the button that I will not be settin' off nucular bombs in America. And also let me tell you that my first dude Todd is real good at investigatin' whether or not state employees are pro-Sarah and pro-Alaska, so I'm sure that he can also investigate the Army and find those those there who too are not pro-American and they won't be settin' off nucular bombs in the America anymore also like that Bill Ayres friend of Barack Obama and other terrorists.

Now Senator McCain wishes that he could be here with you today but it is the weekend so he's at his homes takin' some naps to get ready for the week ahead comin' up. So he sent me here today to ask for your vote on election day and remind you that campaigns are like governin' and if you have any concern that President McCain might be nappin' on the weekend when that 3am phone call comes don't worry, I'll be there to pick up the phone and since I'm on Alaska time that makes the phone call like only 5:30 or somethin' which is when we would be eatin' our mooseburger dinner and would be OK to interrupt if Putin is rearin' his head again. Unless Todd is at a snow-machine race that weekend and I need to be there cheerin' him on, but that's OK because Dick Cheney told me that he would be serving as the secret vice vice president and will be happy to fill in on weekends when Todd is snow machinin' and President McCain is nappin'.

Now before I go I want to thank all pro-Americans for comin' out to support us today. I do need a little help from you today though, Senator McCain asked me to stop by the super secret military base here for some probing. It's so super-special that my soulmate is concerned about my health and is askin' be to stop in at Area 51 for a check up. So if anyone here can show me the way I will be so grateful. Thank you, and god bless the United States of Alaska, you betcha.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/10/19/122349/04


:wtf:

we are always hunting the aliens.... so much fun on a long trip. AND. youngest son rebellious. when he was young and couldn't understand i would say.... military school. see. you dont follow rules, this is where you will go, no guilt on my part.

as he grew, i learned we could work with his rebellious, so dont need it so much

but roswell, hm.... lol

Sarah Palin--yep, she's ready to step right into the prezidency. I know 'cause John McCain told me! Or was it Joe Sixpack??

God, I'll be SO glad when this campaign is over and Obama and Biden give these idiot Republicans a giant smackdown.

not really an area with a lot of undecideds. would be all pro mccain/palin.

I believe the event was 1500 tickets. yawn.