OC Weekly: 25 Reasons Why John Sidney McCain III Sucks

25 Reasons Why John Sidney McCain III Sucks
By GREG STACY
published: October 23, 2008


1. He’s a closet neocon.
According to Rolling Stone, McCain privately calls himself “the original neocon.” McCain began pushing for war with Iraq in the ‘90s, and within hours of the World Trade Center attacks he was on talk shows insisting Iraq was developing WMDs...

2. Elect McCain, and you can expect more pointless, bloody wars.
McCain clearly has his sights set on Iran, for starters. Retired general John H. Johns, McCain’s former friend, says if McCain’s elected, he’ll be “Bush on steroids. . . . He puts military at the top of foreign policy rather than diplomacy.”

3. He doesn’t know when to hold ’em or fold ’em.
McCain’s got a gambling jones. He blows thousands per game playing craps. John Weaver, McCain’s former chief strategist, told Time, “Enjoying craps opens up a window on a central thread constant in John’s life. . . . Taking a chance, playing against the odds.” Suddenly it makes sense why McCain chose a moose-hunting beauty queen for his running mate: It was a huge gamble. We can’t risk McCain “rolling snake eyes” with America’s future.

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6. When Karl Rove says your campaign’s lies have gone too far, you’ve gone too far.
McCain’s running a revoltingly sleazy campaign, but it’ll be tough to sink lower than his commercial suggesting Obama wanted to teach kindergartners about sex. (“Learning about sex before learning to read?”) The ad implies teachers would be telling kids how to find the G-spot before naptime, but the bill Obama co-sponsored would actually have focused on age-appropriate topics like how to avoid molestation. Imagine if Obama’s ad people were willing to twist the truth like that: “John McCain doesn’t want little kids to know about the dangers of pedophiles. Does John McCain like pedophiles?”

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11. His age and health really matter.
It’s not unlikely McCain would croak in office. Then we’d be stuck with Palin, and W’s administration would seem like the good old days.

12. He’s such an asshole, other Republicans hate him.
Various Republican senators have described McCain tantrums where he shouts profanity and shoves people. “It was incidents of irrational behavior,” said Bob Smith. John LeBoutillier calls McCain a “vicious person,” adding, “Nearly all the Republican senators endorsed Bush because they knew McCain from serving with him in the Senate.” Thad Cochran claims that during 1987 diplomatic talks in Nicaragua, McCain went nuts and grabbed a Sandinista official. This January, Cochran said, “The thought of being president sends a cold chill down my spine.” (Cochran has since endorsed McCain. You can’t really blame him . . . would you want to be on McCain’s bad side?)

13. Seriously, he’s a total asshole.
“At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” —McCain to his wife in 1992, in full earshot of reporters, after she joked about his thinning hair.

14. Wow, is he an asshole.
“Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father.” —A McCain joke from 1998. (Karma in action: Little Chelsea grew up to be a stone fox, while the once-handsome McCain now has a head like a moldy biscuit.)

15. He’s an asshole, asshole, asshole.
When McCain returned from Vietnam, his then-wife had been in an accident that left her five inches shorter and on crutches. While the mother of his children was undergoing painful physical therapy, McCain cheated on her and eventually dumped her for a younger, prettier and richer girl (the current Mrs. McCain).

16. Did we mention he’s an asshole?
McCain has repeatedly clashed with families of POW-MIAs, and in 1996 one clash turned particularly ugly. A woman in a wheelchair equipped with portable oxygen approached him to ask about her son. Witnesses say McCain raised his arm to strike her before shoving her wheelchair away. Forget running the country, you shouldn’t trust McCain to watch your cat.

17. No abortions for you.
McCain has said, “I do not support Roe v. Wade. It should be overturned.” Palin, meanwhile, wouldn’t let you have an abortion even if your dad raped you.

18. If McCain wins, expect more Katrinas.
McCain swears he’d never mismanage a disaster response like Bush mismanaged Katrina. But after Katrina, McCain actually voted against emergency funding for Louisiana and Medicaid and unemployment for Katrina victims. (And where was McCain the day Katrina hit? In Arizona, celebrating his birthday with Bush. Cameras captured the pair cutting into a big cake and grinning like newlyweds.)

(snip)

21. His “senior moments.”
McCain’s had troubling memory lapses. He referred to the “Iraq/Pakistan border,” forgetting Iran is between those countries. He addressed a rally as “my fellow prisoners,” suggesting he may be having ‘Nam flashbacks on the campaign trail. In an interview, he mistook Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero for the head of a Latin American dictatorship, refusing to say if he would meet with him.

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25. Mr. “Straight Talk” has no integrity.
McCain has cozied up to the fundamentalists he once dismissed as “agents of intolerance.” He’s pushed for the tax cuts and oil drilling he once opposed. He’s hired the guys who sank his 2000 presidential bid with a whisper campaign about his “illegitimate black child”—the same guys he once said deserve a “special place in hell.” And, oh yeah, he now supports torture. During McCain’s August appearance at OC’s Saddleback Church, he described himself as a “very imperfect person.” Well, at least we know he’s honest about something.

http://www.ocweekly.com/2008-10-23/news/john-sidney-mccain/