I got a letter from the McCain campaign, which is weird because

I'm a "super D." We don't register by party in Texas, but you can easily find out someone's voting record, and super D's vote for Dems every time. I'm probably like a "super duper extra trooper fuck yeah D" since you can't find a single R vote in my voting record. Dems running for office don't even bother stopping at my door because they're all "Oh that's Erin, no worries, she wouldn't vote for a Republican if they were made of kitties and cupcakes." I NEVER get republican literature in the mail. Ever.

Anyhoodle, got this letter from McDouchenozzle that was this weird mixture of smarminess and begging. They're calling it

VICTORY 2008

(which I found poignantly sad) and they've

GOT TO RAISE $20 MILLION IN TEN DAYS, SO WON'T YOU HELP?

(they're bringing the funny!)

My GENEROUS donation of $1000 will help them to smack down their two enemies: radical Islamic extremists who want to kill my children, burn down my house, and make me into a small, ill-fitting coat and the "liberal Obama Democrats" who want to tax me so much it will kill me in the FACE, apparently. Oh and who won't mind or stop them when the radical Islamic extremists eat my eyeballs with a grapefruit spoon and sell my skin to Tom Cruise.

But THEY NEED MONEY Y'ALLS! Like, BAD! Did I mention BAD? BAD. For VICTORY 2008!!!!!

Also? It was four pages long. Dude, edit. And shut up. I wrote all kinds of fun stuff on it like how I'm not rich and I know how many houses I have--one--and at the end asked them to take me off their mailing list and any other virusey Republican weirdo list 4-ever and also that I'm SO not his friend, because he called me his friend sixteen times in the four page letter. Four times per page, y'all.

I loved this part, though:

"We've all seen the Democrats' massive rallies, record-setting voter turnout and colossal fundraising reports. It is obvious they are pulling out all the stops to win."

Well FUCK YEAH, Gramps! I put a giant smiley face next to that paragraph, it was my fave.

Tomorrow morning, my husband and I are taking our daughter and going to early vote for the eyeball eating, extremist loving, taxing the shit out of us Democrats and then we're celebrating after!

And I'm sending that letter back to them in their postage paid envelope that has PLEDGE OF SUPPORT ENCLOSED on it. I may put on some lipstick and leave a big kiss on the flap. "To Gramps: Luv ya, mean it!"

Sending in your two cents worth helps spread the wealth after all.

And it kind of frees you up to offer advice to the candidate.


If it was me I'd tell him if he dumps that Alaskan clothes horse I might give more (than the two or three cents)but I don't want to give so the gold digger gets rich!

Great idea. I'll put a few pennies in there. Maybe I'll find some from the year McCain was born. No, probably too hard to find.

:toast: