Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

DECEMBER 26, 2008

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
By JOSEPH RAGO
WSJ

Until Barack Obama decides to cultivate some whiskering under his nose or Nancy Pelosi pulls a Frida Kahlo, it is too soon to declare the return of the political mustache. Even so, the proliferation of mustaches in Mr. Obama's Washington is conspicuous, if not bristling. Just read their lips: The president-elect's chief political aide, David Axelrod, wears a sad, drooping number. A neatly trimmed hedgerow stretches across prime facial real estate on Eric Holder, the soon-to-be attorney general. Henry Waxman -- whose mouthbrow acquired its own nickname, "the mustache of justice" -- recently ousted clean-shaven John Dingell from a key House committee. Raul Grijalva, just elected chairman of the progressive caucus, sports a handlebar that appears especially graspable.

The possibility of a mustache revival is the talk of D.C.; nearly every member of the Bush administration shaves. Post-John Bolton, the only horizontal parenthesis belongs to Carlos Gutierrez, the commerce secretary. Mustaches are preponderantly more liberal than average -- barring unforeseen close shaves, there will be 26 Democratic mustaches in the new 111th Congress, compared with just three for the GOP. When it comes to beards, the Democrats again win out, nine to three.

Even the president-elect has weighed in. When Bill Richardson showed up sheared to be introduced as the next commerce secretary, the makeover was sufficiently notable for direct comment: "We're deeply disappointed with the loss of the beard," said Mr. Obama. "I think it was a mistake for him to get rid of it. I thought that the whole Western rugged look was really working for him." It was a rather audacious statement. In the age of telegenic politics, facial hair is more often than not a political detriment. The overall rate in Congress is just 9% among men.

Ever since Karl Marx, a full-dress beard is like wearing the "Communist Manifesto" on your face; the mangier version remains popular among college students and Fed chairmen. The beard problem is especially acute for Democrats, who do not want to be stereotyped as having anything in common with socialists or young people, though that may be redundant.

(snip)

In the U.S., political facial hair began with Abraham Lincoln's beard. The club ultimately counted nine Presidents, 10 if you count Richard Nixon's five o'clock shadow. Only three chief executives had mustaches without a companion beard, though Chester A. Arthur's connectastache presents a unique case. William Howard Taft gets the palm for possessing the last White House mustache, which left office in 1913. Hair today, gone tomorrow: Given time, fashion always spins back around, and Mr. Obama could give that wheel a push. The president-elect has not been subtle in his allusions to Lincoln, and he could just go ahead and make the comparison explicit by growing a beard. But if he isn't ready for such radical change, he might try a more daring political gambit, instead, and grow a mustache.

Mr. Rago is an editorial page writer for the Journal.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123024443329134075.html (subscription)

seems that, at least on DU, the verdict was a resounding NO.

Oh well..

but yes.. Smoothbama was the winner by a huge margin!

... there had better not be a whisker crop up on that beautiful face.

Goodnight kids.

out.

But it would be more of a Lon Chaney Jr. effect. Awhhhooooo--werewolves of Philly. I don't think any women-folk on the cabinet will go fuzzy, so that leaves the mens.

Richardson should bring back his goatee--it ruled. I actually thought it "sexifying." Biden could pull off a Van Dyke. I think facial hair can convey a message--anyone notice that Scott McClellan started wearing his sideburns lower when his book came out? Rebel, rebel.

Obama would look a little porn star with just a 'stache. He'd have to rock the "low beard" to have bonus face-hair points--you know, that carefully sculpted chin-and jawline (no neck, no cheek) thing which would look scholarly and yet media-ready and a little macho. But forget that shit, you might as well shave to spend that muck time on topiary.

If Krugman wants to advise on the economy, he grows good beard, and Gore can advise on the environment--and he grows good beard. Holder has the porn stache, but he might not be making it.

(And p.s.--'staches can go hideously wrong--witness John Bolton. That white caterpillar riding under his nose needs to be chloroformed and put in a jar.)


I'm a little facial hair-biased, though--my husband and my brother both wear goatee/stache combos much of the time, and my dad has a Magnum PI-type 'stache. So my favorite people are fuzzy. For my part, I, um, don't wear my 'stache. (I only get a little fuzz on the right side of my lip--it is weird what little hair I generate should be on one side of my face, but there 'tis....or isn't since I remove it.)

LOL :)