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Who would win a Dopeathon match between Chuck Norris & Jon Voight ?

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Armstead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 12:56 PM
Original message
Who would win a Dopeathon match between Chuck Norris & Jon Voight ?
Edited on Mon Aug-31-09 12:57 PM by Armstead
It'd be a tough call to decide which right-wing loony celebrity would win a dopiness contest, after listening to Voight's latest diatribe on Faux News about Obama and how them evil SOCIALISTS are trying to destroy this great countery. (Available through link.)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/31/jon-voight-on-huckabee-ob_n_272571.html

Among other pearls of wisdom, Jonny says:

"He's trying everything, even the so-called God card. If you love God, he tells us, then it's your duty to vote this healthcare bill in...They're taking away God's first gift to man. Our free will."

Well, as awful as Voight was, I gotta admit that Chuck would probably still win a Dope-a-thon....At least Voight is somewhat coherent in his ranting.

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Bleacher Creature Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 12:57 PM
Response to Original message
1. They would cancel each other out and Pat Boone would take the title.
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KansDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
2. Jon Voight is dissappointment...
I thought we had another iconoclast (ala Paul Newman) when he appeared in "Midnight Cowboy." I thought new ground was being broken and we were in for a treat. But as it turns out he's just another conservative. Just another "John Wayne"...

As for Chuck, I was never impressed with him to begin with...
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Buzz Clik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. We could have a roundtable. Shall we match up Voight/Norris against a couple of Baldwins?
There would be a whole lot of stupid in the room.
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AspenRose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:04 PM
Response to Original message
4. Throw Victoria Jackson in there and she'd kick both of their asses.
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Armstead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 02:06 PM
Response to Reply #4
17. Maybe a female tag team -- add that Northern Exposure woman (whose name I mercifuly forget
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Cheap_Trick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
5. If they took out each other, we'd all win. nt
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DevonRex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. Actually they'd both win and all of us who watched it would end up brain dead.
I cannot imagine a worse punishment than to listen to those 2 at the same time.
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DrToast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
7. Doesn't matter. We all lose. n/t
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endarkenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
8. Round of Four: Norris v Voight, Rock v Bauer.
Rambo DQ for steroid abuse over the age of 60.
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. The Jack Bauer thing is unfair.
Kiefer Sutherland is an ardent liberal and has spoken out against torture, DUIs notwithstanding.
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endarkenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Bauer is a rightwing torturing tool on tv.
This is all fantasy anyhow. It is a fantasy rightwing tool fight to the death. The Rock is probably a real nice guy in real life too. Since it is a fight to the death, we all benefit from the elimination of three rightwing tools.
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
9. Trainer BLUE sent out CHUCK NORRIS!
Edited on Mon Aug-31-09 01:33 PM by Arkana
Trainer RED sent out JON VOIGHT!

JON VOIGHT used CRAZY RANTING LUNATIC!

CHUCK NORRIS' EMPTY HEAD ability canceled the attack!

CHUCK NORRIS used SHITTY THEME SONG!

It's super effective!

JON VOIGHT is paralyzed! It can't move!

CHUCK NORRIS used KIDNEY BUSTER!

JON VOIGHT fainted!

CHUCK NORRIS gained 5,000,000 EXP Points.

...

What? CHUCK NORRIS is evolving!

<Pokemon evolution theme>

Congratulations! Your CHUCK NORRIS evolved into RONALD REAGAN!

RONALD REAGAN's special ability changed to ALZHEIMER'S!
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endarkenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. .>:)0
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #9
16. A pokemon reference at DU...
Now I've seen everything here...
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. I own a DS and needed something to do on long car trips.
So sue me.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. S'okay.
I use mine in the Metro.
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xfundy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
12. I wouldn't care which one wins
As long as they beat the shit out of each other. They should both be well-armed. First rule: no one comes out of the ring alive.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. Two men enter -
NO ONE leaves.
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Armstead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. A Steel Cage Dope Match
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
14. So many dopes, so few dopiness contests. nt
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butterfly77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 04:18 PM
Response to Original message
20. I've seen them both...
I think its a tie, two nutty ass fruitcakes..
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Flash Bazbo Donating Member (124 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
21. There is video somewhere out there,...
from the early 90's, of a Jon Voight press conference announcing the discovery of a "new Bible." It made national news back then because of the general wackiness factor. I can't find it on the Internet but someone with journalism ties must be able to dig up a copy. Just ten years ago Voight had the reputation of being a Hollywood weirdo. How did he become the conservative's darling?
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 05:12 PM
Response to Original message
23. Don't forget that dipshit Craig T. Nelson (from Coach):
"I was on food stamps and welfare...and NOBODY helped me." :eyes:
Brilliant.
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Armstead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-01-09 07:51 AM
Response to Reply #23
27. I'm hoping he was joking when he said that
Otherwise the lack of logic is incomprehensible.
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fadedrose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-31-09 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
24. The Dem party should pay for homes for these people in Texas, then let'em secede nt
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Armstead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-01-09 07:50 AM
Response to Reply #24
26. ...And then we can see what a mess they make of the place
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-01-09 06:20 AM
Response to Original message
25. Putting that much stupid in one place would cause an implosion of nearby matter
It would generate a singularity and cause massive destruction; however, since it would be so small, it would quickly evaporate and explode. We would finally be able to answer the information paradox in regards to black holes; hopefully Stephen Hawking will be alive when this happens.
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LaydeeBug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-01-09 08:40 AM
Response to Original message
28. Jon Voight. Hands down. nt
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-01-09 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
29. as bad as they are, Michael Moriarty is still in a different universe...
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