|
I saw it at the Usenet group rec.radio.shortwave, currently the scene of a seemingly endless *-Kerry flamewar. Ask a question about shortwave, and you'll get two replies. Ask a question about Dan Rather, and you'll get four hundred replies.
The post in question is really a hoot.
>> From Rowboat Veterans for Truth Friends and fellow countrymen, it's time to set the record straight. "General" George Washington is no war-hero.
He¹s resting his entire campaign on his so-called heroics in the Revolutionary War, and his famous Delaware River crossing.
Rowboat Vets for Truth is here to share the real story, to correct the misleading use of our images, against our will, in paintings, woodcuts and pamphlets across the colonies.
/Myths vs Facts/: Myth: Crossing the Delaware took 9 hours because of the heavy artillery taken along.
FACT: The crossing only took one hour, and it would have taken a lot less time had Washington not insisted on bringing along an entire furniture set he purchased the day before.
Myth: Washington claims to have tossed a silver dollar across the Delaware, a river more than a mile wide.
FACT: Washington was a miserly bastard who never parted with money. In addition, he threw like an English schoolgirl.
Myth: In Leutze¹s portrait, George Washington is presented as a tall man.
FACT: The self-proclaimed general was a short Negro (and probably a homosexual).
/Eyewitness Reports/: ³You never hear it mentioned in the biased liberal history books, but the man often caught his wooden teeth on fire smoking his beloved hempweed. Several times a week at least. Why do you think he was always covering his teeth in portraits? I demand he release his dental records!² Dr. Hargrove Hampton, Dentist in the 101st Militia Regiment
/Press Reports/: ³America must act now to squash the native savages and villainous French fur traders who terrorize the Western territories. George Washington would wait to get France¹s permission before protecting our people.² Lady Annabelle Coulter Savannah <<
|