And the Prize Goes to - A Dick!

To Dick Morris (and Eileen McGann)
RE: The Nobel Prize to Obama: Europe’s Bid to Re-Colonize America

To think I almost missed this little gem! Fortunately for me, an internetz acquaintance, being big-of-mouth but not so sound-of-mind, sent it to me via email – probably in hopes of opening my eyes to this week’s Evil Threat © as perceived by our friends on the wackier side of the aisle.

Unfortunately for you, it was forwarded with the caveat that the sender didn’t know its origins, or who authored it – which probably explains why the Pulitzer people haven’t been beating down your door. It would seem the wingnut contingent are as adept at using Google as they are at mastering the intricacies of Spellcheck.

But I digress.

“The Nobel Prize is really Obama's payback for disciplining the unruly United States and taming it to be a member of the European family of nations. Europe wants to reverse the American Revolution and re-colonize us, and it sees in Obama a kindred spirit willing to do its bidding.”

After reading that statement, I had to throw up my hands and admit that all was lost. You and Ms. McGann have apparently broken the Norse Code, and are now in on the game. Barack Obama, in cahoots with the Norwegian Parliament, is plotting the downfall of the United States by paving the way to a re-colonization by European states.

It’s as plain as the nose on your ass.

I’m just wonderin’ if he’s going to accomplish this before or after he hypnotizes all Americans into joining Reverend Wright’s congregation, before or after all citizens are forced to convert to a radical sect of Islam, before or after Obama’s henchmen put all conservatives in those secret prisons that FEMA is now constructing, before or after “The Kenyan” appoints only black men to positions of power and enslaves the white race – and if he will have enough time, while doing all of the above, to personally come to my house and kill my grandma.

I should have seen it coming. I mean, it couldn’t be more obvious that this guy is up to no damned good. Talking to school kids about the importance of working hard at getting a good education, promoting an overhaul of healthcare delivery so that people don’t die or go bankrupt because they can’t afford insurance – the list of his crimes (with or without the participation of the traditionally power-hungry Norwegians) seems endless.

What next? Promoting world peace, communication between nations, understanding of each others cultures and religious beliefs and – oh, that’s right. He’s already been there, done that – and he’s got a Nobel Peace Prize to prove it.

Honestly, I just wish you wingers would make up your minds about what this guy is up to, and when. Maybe you could distribute a handy-dandy agenda, just to keep it simple for the simple-minded.

I’d hate to think I might be reading the Qu’uran when I’m supposed to be singing “Ja, vi elsker dette landet” – because when you’re trying to keep up with the latest Obama conspiracy theory, t-t-t-iming, just like any good joke, is everything.

Of course, the real punchline here is that the idiotocracy now decrying the politicalization and loss of prestige of the Nobel is by-and-large the same embarrassment of Republicans who (I’ve always thought the GOP should have a “collective” name, e.g. “a gaggle of geese”, and “embarrassment” seems to fit the bill) were cryin’ in their Ringnes when George W. Bush was passed over by the Committee during his stellar tenure in office. (And I have to say I don’t blame them. There’s no reason why “Reading The Pet Goat While the Nation You Allegedly Lead is Under Attack” couldn’t have been instituted as a category in the wake of 9-11. He’d have been a shoe-in.)

I was particularly interested in the questions you’ve posed, and thought I might provide some answers – being as you didn’t:

“Does the United States let its entrepreneurs run wild, coming up with fanciful new ideas and making billions from them?”

Well, yeah, duh! And those “fanciful” mortgages sure worked out for everyone concerned, didn’t they?

“Do U.S. businesses compete by slashing prices, aggressively pursuing markets, and jockeying for market share?”

Well, in a word, NOPE. When was the last time you saw an insurance company “slash” the prices on their healthcare premiums? Oh, that’s right – they don’t have to, because they’ve jockeyed for market share by simply saying, “Pay us or die.” (Thing is, no matter what you pay ‘em, they let you die anyway – and some people just don’t get the joke.)

“Do Americans work hard and push aggressively to make as much money as they can?”

Oh, they certainly do. Too bad the vast majority of the money they make goes into the pockets of the CEOs who run the companies that employ them, while the workers who’ve generated the profits get shown to the back of the unemployment line when it comes time to plump-up the bottom line.

As for your statement that “Obama will make them behave themselves and stay in line just like European companies do,”, all I can say is, hey, from your keyboard to God’s Inbox.

When all is said and done, you have to admit that “going European” would have its upside: stronger workers’ rights, more vacation time for the RWers to spend practicing their good family Christian values (occasionally even with their OWN wives!), a healthcare system that could drag the United States into the 19th Century (I know it’s now the 21st Century, but let’s start small, shall we?), not to mention some superb vinos and barrels of kick-ass beer.

As I write this, I just KNOW that Orly Taitz is organizing a bumper-sticker blitz: “Never Trust a Knut”, “Beware of Asbjorgs Bearing Gifts”, “Every Lars is a Lyin’ Lars”.

And so she should. We now know that while we’ve been wasting our time and resources torturing Middle Eastern Muslims, the ne’er do well Norwegians have been plotting to take over the planet – one Peace Prize at a time.

Who’da thunk it?

Thanks for the heads-up, Dick. I’ll never look at a plate of gravlaks without the appropriate sense of suspicion again.

Dra laksen, snurebass!

Yours Ever So Truly,
NanceGreggs



Edited to add: I attempted to send this to The Dick via his website. I clicked on the "Contact Dick" address, an email window popped up, and I copied-and-pasted, and hit send.

Ten minutes later, I received a "message undeliverable" email. What's up with THAT, Dick? I ain't even a fuckin' Norwegian!

Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål

The Danes have a refreshing, easy-going, self-policing attitude--their society is mature, and they treat each other with politeness and respect. I wouldn't mind having the Danish health care system either. And they have great pastries and yummy ice cream.

so this doesn't bother me at all. LOL

:hi:

I can only hope that the Norwegians would take us over...

Talk about the Mouse that Roared!


K&R


:rofl:

:-)

on national TV

Though I expect the principle is pretty much the same.

That's the sticker I want for my car. I'm sure it will go over huge here in the North Country amongst the Norwegians and Swedes...

:hide:

:rofl:

Until swearing-in day this past January, the Minnesota Supreme Court had 3 Justices with the last name "Anderson".




Out of 7!

Infiltrating our judicial system - it all comes together now, makes perfect sense.

In the meantime, you might want to forgo that bumpersticker - wait until we get word from the Finns and the Danes that they've got our backs in the upcoming battle ...

"Fjord you and the longship you rowed in on!"

:-)

The Islamo-fascist have already taken over Europe and they rule Norway secretly...it is all part of the world wide plot by Islam to convert the world.
Yes one of these days the Mullahs will march into your town and make you wear the burka and forbid you from eating pork....but insist that you eat pickled herring....which by the way I love.
So I say bring on the pickled herring...I am tired of pork anyway and women in burkas are kind of hot.

But for Dick Morris' Kenyan birth certificate, I'd say Quisling and Dick Morris are twins separated at birth.

And what is their co-pay?

American teens defend their country against an invasion by the dreaded Norwegian Army. Starring William Baldwin, Britney Spears and Glenn Beck and The President.

Now I've gotta go Geugel some Norwegian phrases.

That's Finnish, which is sort of close according to
http://www.howtosayin.com/say/finnish/oh+my+god+its+a+monkey.html
And more or less appropriate since it's been snowing for the last 2 hours
here in northwest Connecticut!
Anyway, this one was more fun than a barrel of 'em.

before the magic 24 hours were up! Great going as always, Nance!

:kick: :yourock: :applause:

And if it should happen they do see it, they won't get it. If they did, this undeniably brilliant piece of verbiage would be unnecessary. The people who do get it are the ones who don't need to see it, but they are its typical audience. Quandary? Yeah, I guess so. But I still love reading your stuff, ma'am.