TRUCE!

I am at the point of looming insanity – and I admit it.

It’s not the alternate opinions from the other side – on everything from healthcare reform to the situation in Afghanistan – that’s givin’ me the booboojeebies. It’s The Stupid – the unbearable, smack-your-forehead, roll-on-the-floor in utter despair, oh-no-he-didn’t-say-THAT, tell-me-you’re-NOT-that-much-of-an-idiot type of Stupid, which seems to be contagious and is definitely now out of control.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

I would humbly propose – in the spirit of the upcoming God-damned, holier-than-anything, throw-the-Baby-Jesus-out-with-the-holy-water, “War on Christmas” season – we call a truce.

If you proudly ill-informed could just go to the Stupid faucet – or wherever it is from which your misinformation flows so abundantly – and turn it OFF, even temporarily, I would be eternally grateful (and so, if I may say so, would your country).

Oh, the joy to be had from a few weeks sans Stupid!

I keep imagining it – turning on the TV and NOT hearing Wolf Blitzer’s opinion about anything; tuning-in to any TV news broadcast without fear of staring into Michele Bachman’s vacuous eyes as she demonstrates her ignorance of all things.

And the spirit-freeing euphoria of – (oh, good God, I shouldn’t even go there, lest I pine for things beyond all imagining!) – NOT seeing someone use a blackboard or an oversized poster to demonstrate how a bunch of little boxes, with labels full of fine print that no one can read, prove Obama’s connection with a radical Muslin agenda, or the unsustainable bureaucracy of healthcare reform beyond all doubt.

It all seems like a dream to me now – and yet it is a vision I still dare to long for. The very concept of a weekend – a single weekend! – free of any quotes by, for, or about Sarah Palin is now the stuff orgasms are made of.

I ask for little – a handful of days in which not a single Medicare recipient is carrying a sign that says “Get the Gov’t OUT of my Healthcare”, a few precious weeks of LTTEs that don’t harken back to the good ol’ days when men and dinosaurs not only lived in peace and harmony, but often sold each other Tupperware products – perhaps (dare I hope?) even a senator who doesn’t read from the Declaration of Independence and insist he’s quoting the Constitution.

I realize that if a truce is to be effective, we here on the other side have to give tit-fot-tat (hopefully, in keeping with the situation, without someone literally making a federal case of the use of the word “tit”), and I have a few suggestions in that regard.

Give us ONE month without a performance by Orly Taitz & The Birthers, and we’ll suspend our propensity to nit-pick about proper spelling and grammar. Give us ONE week without Rush’s ramblings and we’ll give YOU a week without sporting our Birkenstocks (which, BTW, most of us wouldn’t be caught dead in, but we’re willing to go along to get along.)

Drop the phrase “homosexual agenda” from your vocabulary for six weeks, and we’ll STOP reminding you that you’re not on anyone’s radar screen – gay, straight, living and/or dead – as a potential sexual conquest.

In short, give us between now and the end of the year free of The Stupid, and we will – in all humility and generosity of spirit – stop pointing out how fuckin’ Stupid you actually are.

We’re not asking for a lot – a bit of common sense here, a dollop of actually looking at the facts there – it all adds up. And before you know it, the entire nation can enjoy a few precious weeks free of Teabaggers bitchin’ about being called by their own choice of name, never-been-laid (at least not without paying for it) religious fanatics who believe that homosexuality is an abomination because Jesus said so (even though he never actually did), and media whores opining on the opinions of political analysts who analyze poll numbers and statistics that emanate from a reliable source named Steve – who not only FaceBooks, but Twitters on a regular basis, just in case you thought his credentials were suspect.

Please understand that we don’t expect miracles here – just a respite from The Stupid. You are free to continue the usual displays of hypocrisy, along with the lies, deceit, and misrepresentations you’re now famous for. We’re not asking the leopard to change his spots – we’re simply imploring him to board-up the Stupid Well so that its waters cannot be drunk in the usual copious amounts.

This is a one-time, limited offer. Operators are standing by – AND, if you act now, we’ll throw in a bonus gift: Joe Lieberman (allegedly one of ours) will have his mouth duct-taped shut for the duration of the truce. I think that’s a concept we can ALL get behind.

Think about it – and run it past your Party Leaders. Ask them if you can suspend The Stupid long enough for the citizenry to at least remember what it was like to be somewhat sane.

in my head which don't sound so good as yours. :)

Yes PLEAAASE stop The Stupid before I tear out my hair!!

Actually, not having cable and not being home to watch teeeveeee until the late, local news spares me a good bit of it.

So happy to finally be sending a richly-deserving post to The Page.

A pleasure as always, Nance. Thanks! :)

the conflict is a natural thing here.

maybe you can edit your response.

But underneath it all is the real key to our reconciliation.
To get them to agree to suspend the stupid for a while to let things cool off.
And of course we would have to give them something too.

Perhaps we need a department of reconciliation to work out a deal.

"pissing into the wind."

Still, I recommend this highly.

Yeah, I've done that a few times by accident while on a sailboat. What's even worse is getting seasick on boats and then puking into the wind. Always piss or puke on the leeward side of the vessel!!

and a whoooole lot nicer than I would have said it!

---

Ah, sweetie...

Anyone listening to those insane types would be hard put to it not to be insane...

Even intelligent types like us!

Excellent rant as usual...

K&R

:hug:

As this past week has progressed, I find myself yelling at the television nonstop ... at the fear-mongering commercials designed to scare the crap out of the elderly and get them to vote against the health care reform we desperately need ... the chirpy commercial about clean coal ... I guess the woman featured there doesn't care about the entire state of West Virginia ... and those are the breaks from the punditerie misrepresenting health care reform and giving WAY too much air time to mental giants like Michelle Bachmann and Joe LIEberman.

Thanks for the rant. Damn. Count me in as one more who needs a break from stupid ... especially as the HOLIDAYS approach and Bill-o has fits about the War on Christmas and the local TV news alternates between lectures about getting out and shopping to help the economy and lectures about being bad people and going into debt.

and I don't see another miracle in sight. Our miracle (holding House, Senate and WH) is turning out to be a shell game, and the shell is empty. All because our side is playing with the Stupids, instead of driving over them with the forces of truth, justice and law.

I'm sure, though, that the Republican Senators from Oklahoma are now seething with jealousy, and plan this week
to give a speech and rally on the steps of the Capitol, quoting from Dick and Jane ("run, Spot, run!" was always
one of my childhood favorites) and saying it was from the Ten Commandments.

I no longer watch television much at all.
And apart from this weekend, try not to be at DU more
than an hour a day.

It's helping.

I think.

You are proposing a truce to people who have flamethrowers for eyes, knives for fingers, and loose cannons for mouths.

How do you propose a cease-fire to people who know nothing BUT fire?

That's like proposing a "cease-water" to a fish.

I hope The Stupid is a cancer that will run its course, sooner than later.

NoFederales

on edit: spelling

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

WE quit newspaper, no cable TV, local newa just for weather. Maybe we have our heads in the sand but we feel alot calmer. I think my next step is stay away from DU and Huffington Post for a while! Think how wonderful not to have to listen to the Stupid!

you may avoid some of The Stupid, but you'll also miss a good bit of The Smart.

We've just received the following response from Hugh Moran:
"You have just proved once again that you're a bunch of godless socialist pinko liberal scum, and you're going straight to hell."
End message (unless, of course, I'm expected to use the little icon in this space, but I'm assuming the readers here are pretty good at recognizing examples of the tongue-in-cheek, so I won't). Nice one, Ms. Greggs. From your lips to the ears of the gods. Now I'd better go reload, so's I'l be all ready to shoot up a couple nativity scenes.

Separate votes and people that have NO INTEREST IN VOTING FOR THE BILL ITSELF - get to vote on this crap and water down a law??

I just don't get it.

Seems like th elogical deal would be to say - your "yes" vote on an ammendment disapears if you vote against the bill itself.

now i know where all that stuff is flowing from!

That image is now burned into my brain when I hear Boehner's voice... I see him leaning over and taking massive gulps.