Lets use our talent and come up with best one line ZINGERS for Kerry

Let's really get serious and come up with an avalanche of humiliating witty one liners that Kerry can use in the debates. And send them to him.

I'll start.

1. You're not the war President. You're the first President that doesn't know how to AVOID war.

2. What you call flip-flop, I call being intelligent enough to know you should change your opinion when all the brightest and most
knowledgeable experts in the world are telling you're wrong.

she uses a hammock for a chinstrap!

That after I got done fucking her, I rolled over twice, and I WAS STILL ON THE BITCH.

She got chins on the back of her neck!

sailor on leave.... and I know a thing or two about being a sailor on leave.

2. Since every intelligence and commission agrees that Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11, isn't it time to get real with the American people?

Sailors on leave spend their own money! Bush spends our money.

I'm telling America what it needs to hear.

I'm telling all of America what it needs to hear.

"the truth"

"W is telling some of America what they want to hear. I'm telling all of America what it needs to hear: the TRUTH."

How about "W is telling American's what he thinks they want to hear."
I'm telling America what it needs to hear.

BTW, I like your user name. Wouldn't happen to be a Stones fan, would ya?

"... its whether America is better off without George W. Bush."

:headbang:

n/t

I'm no George Bush and that's my best asset.

and I'll tell you the countries that are not in Iraq helping the U.S. Troops

then Hugh Hefner is qualified to call someone a pimp!"

:headbang:
rocknation

Mr. Bush?"....hmmm...how many?

:kick:

their freedom?

I won't exploit your lack of years of experience to insult your bad judgment.

to do!

"staying the course" is like being lost and refusing to stop and ask for directions...or even admitting being lost!

nfm

That's the same decision made by the captain of the Titanic.

or

When you're in the water and you find yourself sinking to the bottom, the last thing you want to do is stay the course.

or

When you're digging dry holes in Texas, the last thing you want to do is stay the course. You should try to go dig where the oil is.

Good ones!! :D

}(

else to do!

Change one word and it works great. Using "I" in your version is dangerous.

misuse that???????

Thanks!

All you would have to do is to show Bush being asked questions about his policies and question after question we see Bush and a little thought bubble above his head of question marks??????? When he then replies......"Stay the course".?????????? "Stay the course"...

Even showing a car going down the road and the driver saying "What do I do? The passenger answers "Stay the course"

The car continues it gets dark, the driver saying "What do I do now?" The passenger answers "Stay the course"

The car continues and the headlights go off and it is pitch black and the driver says "What do I do now?" "The passenger answers stay the course"

The car plunges over a cliff and at the bottom of the cliff you see a cell phone that continues saying "Stay the course. Stay the course. Stay the course....."

Then a voice comes over and says "Staying the course can kill you"

I know a thing or two about war Mr. President. What experience do you have in combat?

staring down their uneaten spinach have moral courage, too."

"So when are your daughters going to enlist?"

:headbang:
rocknation

had you been in charge in the 90's, McVeigh would still be a free man too!

The only flip-flop you haven't done on the war is going back to your positions after you adopted mine.

then you said you wanted to be a PEACE president, but I tell ya George... you're just going to be a ONE-TERM president.

Bush appears on TV....Yeah, I geuss its juvenile...but I like it!

What part of...Iraq had nothing to do with the attack did you not understand?

I like 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 and 27 (I lost track between 13 and 27; till 13 it was easy, all the odd numbered ones!! :-)

Here is my own:

Bush started wars that neither he nor his neocon cabal know how to fight -- I know how to fight and fight smart. Wake up America, it is time to vote for a grown up.

(Second sentence can be softened, but I am in no mood!)

Your plan to stay the course in Iraq equates to having a toe operation when your doctor tells you, you need a heart transplant.

Which time were you telling the truth. When you said you wanted Osama Bin Laden found dead or alive? Or when you said you just don't think about him that much?

lied about reasons for taking us to war Mr. President."

"er, with all due respect."

How's that for folksy vernacular?

1 plane attack (to be kind we'll call it one)
1 anthrax attack on a newspaper
1 anthrax attack on the Senate


http://brainbuttons.com/home.asp?stashid=13

and too stubborn to admit when he's wrong.

But you wont, because you don't want to remind us how good we had it under Bill Clinton.

"I'm George Bush, and I approved this message", and have a Bush ad going sotto voice behind Kerry, who steps up to say, "Mr Bush, if you approved that ad, you'd better check your facts, because . . . ."

Or, Mr. Bush, if you approved that ad, you are misinformed . . . ."

Good one!

.

Duh I don't know!

"President Bush puts the 'con' in neo-con"

"Not only is President Bush a divider, he's also a subtracter"

"Excuse me for being flip, but this presidency has been a FLOP"

ROFL!!

How about this one- "George, you think Kaiser Permanente was a German leader."

This has some real possibilities. Any number of ways -- deaths in Iraq, jobs, etc.
:thumbsup:

Then the best line would be

"your lucky I didnt pick Gephardt"

Then after that economic quicky back to splitting hairs over Iraq and endless swift boat discussion.

Some might be usable....

+++

86 43 IN 04
Abort Bush
Abortion laws create cannon fodder
After two years in office, he finally gets an economic policy -- and it's for Iraq!
Another Bush. Another Recession. Another War.
Another patriot for peace.
ANYONE but Bush
Anything war can do peace can do better
Anything war can do, peace can do better.
Axis of Evil: Supreme Clowns, Media Whores and Darth Nader
Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you'll kiss my ass
Bombed if they do, bombed if they don't
Bravo Uniform Sierra Hotel can go Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo himself.
Bring democracy to Iraq? We need to bring democracy to Florida.
Buck Fush!
Burn Bush Burn
Bush + Moonies a new world odor.
Bush = Death
Bush does the lying; kids do the dying
Bush had the support of the media, entire world & a bipartisan Congress to get Osama and he failed.
Bush inherited a democracy and turned into his personal sandbox.
Bush inherited peace and turned it into a never-ending war.
Bush inherited prosperity and turned it into recession.
Bush inherited surpluses and turned them into deficits.
Bush is an empty war head
Bush is on crack again! Don't attack Iraq again!
Bush Lied People Died
Bush Lied Soldiers Died
BUSH LIHOP
Bush only represents the people in the gated communities... without trailers.
Bush shouldn't be President of the United States, he should be President of the Cayman Islands.
Bush sold anthrax and VX to Saddam now our children are supposed to die to get it back.
Bush Talks: Markets Fall
Bush took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Bush turned my 401k into a 201k.
Bush wants a world war. Do you?
Bush wants to roll back the New Deal and make it the Raw Deal.
Bush's Dad Financed Saddam and Osama
Bush's Grandpa financed Hitler
Bush. War. Repeat.
Bush/Cheney: America's second choice
Bush: If you were rich and evil he would vote for you
Bush: Serial Truth Molester
Bush: The Most Hated Man Alive
Can the economy handle any more of the Bush administration's fuzzy math and Enronomics?
Chirac, merci pour nous donner une voi
Clinton got a BJ Bush is screwing US
CTRL-ALT-DEL Diebold
Dick Cheney Before He Dicks YOU!
Dissent is patriotic
Do nothing Bush sat on the Clinton plan to defeat Al Qauida and let 9/11 happen.
Do you really feel more secure in a Pentecostal police state?
Don't Arm a Son of a Bush
Don't blame me, I voted with the majority.
Don't do it George, Dad will still love you.
Don't let King George send you home in a box
Draft Jenna!
Drop Bush Not Barney
Drunken Frat Boy Drives Country into a Ditch
Dubya has a job - do you?
Dubya has a retirement fund - do you?
Elect a madman: you get madness
End World War W
Every time Clinton attacked the terrorists, the right cried "wag the dog".
Fascism: The Conservative Notion That Killing People Makes Them Work Harder
Feel Safer Yet?
Fighting for peace is like fucking for chastity.
Florida: Electile Dysfunction
For Death. Debt. Deceit. Vote Bush-Cheney.
Friends don't let Friends Vote Republican
Go Solar, not Ballistic.
God is Santa Claus for adults.
Good guys don't shoot first.
Google this: "Bush 9/11 Treason"
Google this: "Bush AWOL"
Google this: "Bush Hinckley Reagan dinner"
Google this: "Bush Hitler"
Google this: "Bush Knew"
Google this: "Bush Moon"
Google this: "Bush Saudi"
Gore was already a Vietnam veteran and a congressman when George W Bush was a drunk-driving alcoholic business failure.
Got Democracy?
Having a Bush in the White House is like having a cancer on our currency.
Heil to the Thief
How did our oil get under their sand?
How many Cayman Island bank accounts does the Bush family have?
How many lives per gallon, Mr. Bush?
I didn't order this war and I'm not gonna pay for it!
I didn't vote for his Daddy, either.
I survived the Y2K election and all I got was this lousy president.
I thought George Sr. was smarter, but the hats they're wearing show W beat him by 2 IQ points.
I voted for Gore, but Bush won the trifecta
I'd let Clinton f*ck Monica on the desk of the oval office if we could just have another 8 years of peace and prosperity.
I'd rather have a president who gets blown by a citizen than one who blows corporate CEOs.
If Bush had stayed in baseball we wouldn't be in a war.
If I vote Republican will I get a job?
If I'd wanted to live in a fascist country, I would have voted Republican.
If Iraq is so dangerous, why did Bush go on vacation for a month this year and last year?
If you got a pink slip, thank Bush in the voting booth.
If you like everything that's happened in the Bush administration, why even vote?
If you put Bush's brain in a hummingbird, it would fly backwards.
If you think Republicans are OK, you don't know DICK!
Illegitimate Baby Bush
Impeach Bush - Traitor to American Ideals
Impeach Cheney First - Then His Monkey
Invest in America, Buy a Congressman
Is it fascism yet?
It ain't over till your brother counts the votes
It's NUCLEAR, not NUCULAR, you idiot!
It's the Bill of Rights, Not SUGGESTIONS
It's the oil, stupid.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Jail to the Thief
Jesus was a liberal Jew
Leave NO Corporation behind.
Let US lead the way to peace
Lobotomies for Republicans: It's the Law!
Make love, not war! Lick Bush now!
Make sense, not war
My boy's life is worth more than a few barrels of oil.
My President went on vacation and all he brought back was this lousy war.
Negotiation Not Annihilation.
NO BLOOD FOR OIL
No Dubya Dubya III
No one died when Clinton lied.
No War, No Way, No Fascist USA.
Occupation IS NOT Liberation
Oh Say can You Cease?
Oh, quit whining, Bush is an idiot, get over it already.
Old Glory Is Not A Corporate Logo
One nation under surveillance.
Operation Ending Freedom
Osama says, "Please attack Iraq--recruiting is down"
Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.
Party like it's 1984
Pay no attention to the rich white men behind the curtain.
Perpetual war - this is the "kinder, gentler America" Bush promised?
Pick Fruit, not Fights
Power to the peaceful
Preempt war
President Bush inherited the strongest economy in history. Now the economy stinks. Any questions?
Question Authority
Re-Defeat Bush in 2004
Re-Elect Gore in 04
Read between the pipelines
Read my apocalypse, armageddon angry
Real Americans pay their taxes.
Resistance is Fertile.
Save the fetus, screw the children, kill the adults
Say can you see my democracy?
Select the loser as president, you get a loser president
Send The Twins!
Shock and awe equals blitz and kreig
Smart weapons, Dumb president.
Some may think Bush is a Texan, but he's not - Bush's favorite steed is a golf cart.
Star Spangled Bummer
Stop Mad Cowboy Disease!
The Bush administration is a well-oiled machine
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The only rocket that should be going off is the one in my pants
The only thing we have to fear is Bush himself.
The poor die, the rich profit
The Road to Hell is Paved with Republicans
There is enough religion in the world for men to hate each other, but not enough to love
There you go again, repeating lies about Al Gore - why not face up to the truth about George Bush the failure?
There's Blood In Your Tank
They hate us for our freedom to kill them
Thief in Chief
Think Outside the Barrel
Vote them Out
W - that looks like a double-dip recession graph.
W = WARMONGER
Walk for peace now or run for your life later
War costs--schools pay
War is expensive, Peace is priceless.
War is NOT Pro-Life
War sucks--Ask a vet
Was it the eight years of peace or the eight years of prosperity that pisses you off?
We don't have a Democracy, We have an Auction
We impeached a president for making love. What should we do to one who makes war?"
We know why corporate raiders vote for Bush, why would you?
We need a war on greed
We used to have a surplus, Bush is in charge and he turned the surplus into a massive deficit.
Wellstone Dead. War Alive.
What has the idiot Bush boy given us, besides a new skyline in New York?
When a Bush is bought, he stays bought.
When I grew up I was told anybody could become president, now I see what they mean.
When Republicans get the finger pointed at them, they investigate the finger.
Where were you in '72? Bush doesn't remember, do you?
Who is that idiot, and what is he doing in Al Gore's house?
Who would Jesus bomb?
Why should we ask our military to die for cheap oil when the rest of us aren't even being asked to get better mileage?
Why stop at Jesus? Crucify ALL liberals!
Would you rather have a blow job or no job?
You can't spell Bush without the BS.
You've seen how much Dubya can shrink your 401-K's in just two years what he will do next?

:P

There are over a 1000 servicemen who changed positions in Iraq.

George Bush & George Washington

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

We won't get fooled again."

:headbang:
rocknation

Something about Kerry debating HIMSELF- maybe "I don't even know why I showed up today, you could have just debated yourself." Something like that.

We NEED a counter to this one. And not "Well, you do have a history of not showing up where you're supposed to be" :P cuz Bush probably won't use that phrasing.

I'd love it if he'd call Bush out for pretending he doesn't understand Kerry's positions. Maybe some combination of:

"I've been consistent in my positions. Is there something you don't understand?"

"If you don't understand how Congress works -- that bills contain more than one issue, and that there's more than one bill for each issue -- then the country's in bigger trouble than I thought."

"I think you know how Congress works, and I think you understand my positions, so let's just stop pretending you don't."

(In other words, "Are you stupid or are you lying?" But I can't find a short, artful way to say that.)

on edit: I meant that about #63

:)

That's the one!

:evilgrin: Zing.

Retort for when Bush levels the accusation that, if Kerry had his way Saddam would still be in power with his mass graves, rape rooms...bla bla bla

1. George Washington couldn't tell a lie. George W. Bush can't tell the truth!

2. We need a president who lives in this world, not one who lives in a fantasy world of spin.

3. What's that thing in your ear, and who's at the other end of it?

I'm trying to find the link to the PDF of the rules... I know it had a section stating they aren't allowed to bring any notes to the podiums; did it mention earpieces specifically?

(I think it may have said no "devices" but now I can't remember!! Where's that PDF?!)

He had some great one-liners.

A favorite: "Martin Luther King had a dream, Martin Luther King had a vision; George W. Bush has hallucinations."

"It tastes good, but it'll kill you!"

You accuse me of flip-flopping. I submit to you Mr. President, you have been nothing but a flop.

:P Or, something like that ...

.

analogy too. ;) Didn't read the thread, looks like many of us are thinking on the lines of the "Titanic"

When you START a raging fire, you're the arsonist. What we need is a fireman.

g

imagine what WOULD NOT have happened had the Captain of the Titanic changed course....

Put the Nation (car) in D to go forward and R to go backward.

When we left you a lockbox full of seniors social security money, we thought it was secure. We didn't think we'd have to put the lockbox in Bill Clinton's vault so you couldn't break in to it and steal every dime.

The only two people who think the war is going well in Iraq, is Osama Bin Laden and Abu Al Zarqawi.

If America continues to enjoy any more of your great economy, we'll all be working at McDonald's.

strength and complexity are not mutually exclusive traits- or something like that. Totally forgot it but remember it was a goodie.

Anyone remember?

That was it. :)

This is an all-purpose line, to be used on any winger who gets all hot under the collar.

"Because believing so is the ONLY way you can claim that I 'voted for the war in Iraq'. Since you have made that claim publicly many, many times we can only assume that you did not and still do not understand what the IWR is and what it is not. Why don't you get it, Mr. Bush?"

"Do you believe as some security experts do that domestic security in the U.S. is currently about what it was on 9/10/01?"

"Have you encouraged your patriotic daughters Jenna and Barbara to enlist in the army or marines to help relieve troop shortages in those branches and defend our country at this critical time?"

"Can I get an autographed copy of 'My Pet Goat'?"

It's been reported that all but five countries in the world think that America should have a new leader. And I AGREE with them.

had a sign on his desk saying 'The Buck Stops Here.' But Bush can't own up to any mistakes. He's got a sign on his desk saying, 'A Dollar Just Doesn't Go So Far Any More.' And another saying 'The Blame Starts Here.' . . . And they have the gall to call theirs the 'Party of personal responsibility. Imagine!"


(The "The Blame Starts Here" was already used by Kerry. I thought I'd just give another angle.)

Mr. President will you recommend to America that they read my speech on the Senate floor when I voted to give you authority to go to war--so they can see how I flip-flopped?

Mr. President, if you had done nothing AT ALL as President, America would be better off today.

It takes a strong President to take us into war. It takes a LEADER to keep us OUT of war.

of the American People is your highest priorty when even after horrors of 911, you have purposelessly left our borders Wide Open to millions of Illegal Aliens and who knows how many Terrorists seeking easy passage into America?

Seems your concern about America's Security takes a back seat to the Cheap Labor Lobby that funds your campaign. Can you shed some light on this?-------

I guarantee something like this will double up Flubya and get him stammering Big Time. Every question posed to him on Illegal Immigration, border security etc. invaribly throws Shrub for a loop. He knows he can't defend it.

Kerry can score some major points in the debate by posing a question like this as well as pull in many republicans and independents that want this issue addressed.

It's a No Brainer---

Sorry -- that was my husband's answer to my question of how to ask Chimp whether he's stupid or a liar. I was looking for something "artful," but this is about as polite as he can get when it comes to the Chimp.

I think this could be devastating, done at the perfect time.

After Bush has clearly given an answer that is contradictory or confusing....."You know that answer reminds me of the two girls that were talking on the phone. One was setting up her friend for a blind date. The girl who was to go on the date asked. What does he look like? The other girl to have fun with her said, Well...he's short....bald headed. About six foot tall, and black hair. (Make puzzling facial expression, and pause briefly for laugh. I'm quite sure there'll be one.) Then go on to ridicule his answer. as just as contradictory.

Bush would never recover after that. The humor is something they would NEVER expect from Kerry and it will kill the "stiff politician" image dead in its tracks.

Or....using a Yogi Berra saying. When asked what time it was, he said you mean now?

... before YOU fucked it up.

compassionate conservative, we are all doomed !

"Have you used any of it to help finance your political campaigns?"

"Do you believe the Bush name should be prominently displayed on the World War II Memorial after what your grandfather Bush did to help the Nazis?"

Under your prescription drug program, our seniors will move to Canada.

why is this country more divided than at any time since the Civil War?

you gave us "Attack in haste!"

"No person who so misunderstands "War as a last resort" should be in charge of a nuclear arsenal."

you are a doodyhead.

(That's my fantasy one-liner for Kerry to deliver).

1. Bush ought to be nicknamed "Hurricane George" because his spin leaves death and destruction in his wake."

Sorry - I stole this is from another thread here. Great line. I just love it!!!

:kick:

Yeah, and now the car insurance is skyrocketing with no end in sight!

How great it would be if Kerry actually thought some of these he could use.

I think we have some very creative minds here.
And God KNOWS we want to help him get that
one soundbite that plays on every TV channel.

These are going to his headquarters one way or another.

people...they've both been misled by faulty intelligence.

appearing as he is more the Court Jester...

:kick:

Kerry to Bush: "So you are a "master debater?" Can you do it on your own or will Rove have to give you a reach-around?"

When you were elected President, we didn't know we were also getting a magician. You were able to turn a 1.6 trillion dollar surplus into a 542 billion dollar deficit.

George W. Bush. . .

Emptied the coffers and filled the coffins in just four short years. What's next?

While FDR said "All we have to fear is fear itself", according to you, Mr. President, all we have is fear.

Do we stay the course to failure - or do we go back to success?

As the baseball great Yogi Berra would say, "You're not in a slump George. You're just not hitting.
_____________________________________________________________________

You've done less for the American economy than Enron has done for it's stockholders.

Georgie, your economic policies have been an "ENRONIC SUCCESS".

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

It wouldn't kill you to offer any evidence of your moronic claims. Also, notice the great peace and prosperity that occured during Clinton's 8 years. And compare that to the war and job loss that's occured during this administration. Dude, you are lost. We are hardly scared of facing Republicans. Maybe you should read the rules of conduct where it says if you are a conservative there's no need to sign up. But unsurprisingly, you're too lazy to deal with the facts.