Michael Moore on the lam - funny

I signed up to receive his email notices. Just got this one. If you aren't signed up to receive his notices - they are worth the laugh alone!

10/6/04

Friends,

You may have heard by now that the Michigan Republican Party has called for my arrest. That's right. They literally want me brought up on charges -- and hope that I'm locked up.

No, I'm not kidding. The Republican Party, yesterday, filed a criminal complaint with the prosecutors in each of the counties where I spoke last week in Michigan.

My crime? Clean underwear for anyone who will vote in the upcoming election.

Each night on our 60-city "Slacker Uprising Tour" through the 20 battleground states, I've been registering hundreds (and on some nights, thousands) of voters at my arena and stadium events. I then ask for everyone over 23 who has never voted (or didn't vote in the last election) to stand up. I tell these slackers that I understand and respect why they think politicians are not worth the bother. I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this once. The stakes this time are just too high.

If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles, the sustenance of slackers everywhere.

I then close by having them repeat the 2004 Slacker Oath: "Pick nose! Pick butt! Pick Kerry."

It seems to have worked, as each night the volunteer tables are swamped afterwards with hundreds of new and young voters signing up to campaign for regime change for the next four weeks.

The satire of all this seems to have been lost on the Republicans. Or maybe it hasn't. The state of Michigan (where we spent most of last week) reported that over 100,000 young people recently registered to vote, a record that no one saw coming. The Slacker Tour has turned into a huge steamroller with a momentum all its own.

So, the Republican Party, to show their gratitude that so many young people will now be involved in our system, has demanded that I be sent to jail for trying to "bribe" students to vote.

Of course, this would be quite laughable if they weren't so serious about their charges. But they are. I may soon be a wanted man in Michigan -- simply because I convinced a few slackers to change their underwear and eat a healthy meal of artificially flavored noodles.

I thought I'd seen it all this year -- Disney refusing to distribute the film they paid for, right-wingers harassing theater owners who showed "Fahrenheit 9/11," conservative action groups trying to get the FEC to kick our film ads off the air, the unnecessary restrictive R-rating that forced teenagers to sneak in to see it, and all the stupid, crazy attacks on me and my movie that I've had to listen to as I watched the public ignore them and pack the movie houses anyway, where my film was being shown. And when all that failed, five different Republican groups made five different attack dog tapes (oops, "documentaries"!) against me in a period of about six weeks. But they were all so bad, so boring, so right-wing, no one wanted to watch them and they too went away, a sad waste of good videotape.

Now, after enduring all this, with no tricks left in their bag, they've just decided, "Let's toss his sorry ass behind bars -- him and his noodles and his gift of clean underwear!"

My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!

Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.

Yours,

Michael Moore

Run Michael run...

He lets it all roll of his back. If he didn't; he'd be in a mental ward.

going to jail?

unless they can prove that these people are being materially compensated specifically for voting for Kerry. All he's doing is getting them to register. They could all vote for * for all Moore knows.

If they lock you up, I'll bail you out! Or at least bake you a cake!

Go, Mike, go!

Do these people just not get it or what? MM couldn't BUY the kind of publicity they give him for free every time they pull some stupid shit like this. And right on the heel of the DVD release of F911. Could they get any more stupid? W must be running the show over there....

nothing better to do than see underwear and ramen as a BRIBE? this is absurdity almost beyond belief (except, alas, nothing seems beyond the repukes these days)

if the prosecutors actually take this up, they should all be recalled.

yet, as is pointed out, this is priceless publicity for michael--do you think these people are actually dems in drag?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20041005/ap_en_ot/people_michael_moore

LANSING, Mich. - Republicans say filmmaker Michael Moore should be prosecuted for offering underwear, potato chips and Ramen noodles to college students in exchange for their promise to vote.

The Michigan Republican Party has asked four county prosecutors to file charges against Moore, charging that his get-out-the-vote stunt amounts to bribery.

"We want everyone to participate in this year's election, but not because they were bribed or coerced by the likes of Michael Moore," said Greg McNeilly, executive director of the state Republican Party.

Moore, a Michigan native, is touring the country and imploring "slackers" who usually don't vote to head to the polls this year, saying they could make the difference in the presidential race. Moore has made stops at three Michigan universities as part of a 60-city pre-election tour.

During each program, habitual nonvoters are invited on stage to pledge to vote. First-time student voters are offered gag prizes such as clean underwear.

Republicans Deny Underwear to Voters

Hey, No2W--your dog photo looks EXACTLY like MY OLE dog, who was part terrier, part poodle, and the smartest damn dog in the universe, rest her soul. She lived for 17 years, was a fantastic watchdog, and had no clue that she was not a person. When anyone asked "Where's the baby?" she'd come a running. Great photo--brought me some fond memories of a beloved pet!

ON EDIT--a swap of a tangible item for a vote is one thing, a swap of a tangible item for a PROMISE is another thing entirely. I don't think the arrangement is actionable, but the whole controversy benefits Moore....GOP, foiled again! This is an ineffectual example of the GOP trying to rile their base with bullshit. Problem is, the base of the GOP is just not as riled as they used to be. You can put a dress and lipstick on a chimp, but it is still a chimp, not a showgirl.

He's much like your dog as described...He knows when someone is at the door about 30 seconds before I do, Knows what "Go for a ride" means, insist on being included in all activities, and lets me know when he needs his head rubbed.

:bounce:

600 more theaters have now requested and are playing Farenheit. Tee hee hee.

You godda love it. They're trying to find the rabbit in the hat and they're finding ca ca. LOL

You are very welcome here (there's a lot to do too...)

webpage..here's the link to subscribe..

http://www.michaelmoore.com