A Portlander apologizes to Al Gore

Greetings Al, and thanks for stopping by our odd little town. I'm sure that you expected teabagger-types protesting your appearance, and there was even a PETA protest because you're not a vegan. But I have to apologize for the over-zealous über-Leftie Tre Arrow "I bought my Earth First! shirt at Mal-Wart" wannabes who decided to vandalize the building by spray-painting their stupid slogans. I guess that, in their rush to get their "Earth-friendly message" across, they failed to realize that A)they were using aerosol spray paint, and B) their petty vandalism necessitated the use of harsh chemicals to clean the paint off. Oh, wait: I get it now, they were being IRONIC. Hipster doofuses . . . Oh yes, and C) their petty, extremist behavior pretty much canceled out the messages of the more reasonable and orderly protesters.

...
In church it's how much 'holier than thou' you are.
In yoga class it's how flexible you are.
In poetry workshops it's if you've been published.
In Earth First! circles it's how many exclamation points you use.
In drug circles it's how much access you have to the spice.
In music circles it's how many references you can work into every sentence.
Online it's how witty and snarky you can be.
In the gym its the muscles and endurance.
On the National Park Scenic Trail it's who's hiked Kilimanjaro.
In the library it's better taste in books or maybe being a writer.
On the highway it's your car.
In college it's your grades.
In the clubs it's who can dance the best.
In an orgy it's who moans the most(females) or who lasts the longest(males)!!!
In conservative circles it's how War Happy and Xenophobic you are.
In liberal circles it's this thing we're seeing now all around us.
On the airplane it's who's traveled the most.
In jail it's who's done the most time.
Musicians who's played with who.

It's everywhere.

Edit: Oh yeah so...
Name a group of people, any group, and you will see humans competing for dominance.
Kissing booty and shunning newbies...or in this case (being Democrats or at least liberals and prone to 'defending the untouchables and underdogs') they are throwing stones against Authority (in this case Al Gore, right?).

It's Tall Poppy Syndrome...anyone that succeeds, that is no longer the underdog, is immediately singled out for attack. Some people just can't handle other people's success...and the compromises that success inevitably brings to light.

Some people take it too far and attack those that are their side.


I guess.
What do I know?
:D

And thank God...I was beginning to think this was a relevant sample of actual Democrats here.

It's how much more 'Democrat' you are than us ......