To any Democrat considering a run in 2008....

Take some courses in computer programming.
Learn Microsoft Access. Diebold uses it for their touch screens.
Its very easy to learn.

You might want to also learn Excel. You're going to need to know which states to focus on when it comes to hacking the vote. The only way you can win is to out-hack the other side. You need Access for that, not Excel. Statistical analysis is important before the election, but you need Access to manipulate the votes in real-time.

Take a taxpayer-paid trip to Russia. They have some very good programmers over there. They can teach you a thing or two.

Be sure to send Christmas greetings to Wally O'Dell. Ask him to send you some technical literature.

Get friendly with Chuck Hagel. He knows a lot about the voting machine business.

The next time you go to the ATM and get a receipt, remember, you don't get one when you vote.

The next time you go shopping and get a receipt, remember, you don't get one when you vote.

The next time you go to the movies and get a receipt, remember, you don't get one when you vote.

The next time you go to the gas station and get a receipt, remember, you don't get one when you vote.

The next time you fly, if you decide to take out life insurance, get a receipt. If the worst happens, maybe they'll recover your wallet, just like they recovered Mohammad Atta's in the WTC rubble.