Guckert/Gannon and understanding Republican GAY-ness

It's going to be the news of the week -- unless Bush decides to bomb something -- that gay prostitution infiltrated the Republican's side of the journalistic bullpen. I can't wait to see what we bomb.

As a 30-something woman, I'm having a difficult time digesting all this new, gay culture I'm being introduced to via the Guckert/Gannon story. Who knew men prefer chest-waxing to a good old manly rug? Personally, I'm for the rug. It's how I can tell my partner is of age. Oh, I guess that's the point.

Who knew their heads weren't the only thing they shaved. Not a bad idea in my opinion, but it seems risky. Is there a special styptic pencil for that? On the one hand, shaving one's balls seems a generous and romantic gesture. On the other, I'm thinking why waste a good shave on wrestling. That's how I know they aren't just wrestling. You aren't going to waste a set of freshly shaved balls on pinning a guy down without showing him who is boss -- so to speak. We're talking about SHAVED BALLS HERE FOR GOD'S SAKE! He's going to feel unattractive if you don't fuck him. Look at all the thought he put into your encounter!

The ins and outs of this gay underworld are fascinating. Imagine how special you would feel if your honey went to a fraction of the lengths that men go to have sex with men. Set aside the hair removal for a moment. There's classified advertising. Boudoir photography. There's weekends of travel to exotic places. High society social events with an accepted language and a tacit agreement of secrecy. Imagine if straight folks enjoyed such openness in their affairs. Wow. We'd all be fucking each other constantly. I'd be madness. You'd never get anything done.

Speaking of that -- where do these guys find the TIME for all this messing around? They are running the country (into the ground), which has to be time-consuming. They have the campaigning and the fundraisers and the leaking of stories -- who among them has time for wrestling? There's the war and dismantling Social Security, these are busy men. Do you think they all shave their balls? I can't stop thinking about the shaved balls. I'm imagining Bush giving the State of the Union address with itchy undies. Am I to understand that dangling beneath Rove's pleated sans-a-belts hang a pair of pink ping pong balls. It's almost too much to bear.

And who knew the homo chickenhawks in the administration really longed for love in the fox hole. Rove and the rest of the Velvet Mafia cruise for HOT MILITARY STUDS. You'd think since they can't resist a man in uniform they would have JUMPED at the chance to serve in Vietnam. Were they deferred for priapism? They apparently don't want gays in the military because they want them out here in civilian life where they are available to answer their page.

Best of all, who knew that gay men find gay-bashing attractive. It's such a topsy-turvy world. You have to appear manly on the outside, while looking like a boy on the "inside." You have to wrestle and otherwise beat each other up to show your love. And finally, you must look like a Drill Sergeant in order to attract draft-dodgers.

Thank you Jim Guckert, for this insight into your world. I guess I can take you at your word, that gays are sick. My experience up until now has been that gay men want pretty much what anyone else wants -- acceptance, security, and equal protection under the law. But then again, all the gay men I know are Democrats. Maybe that's the difference.

To know we can laugh even if it's laughing at some of our own. I know a million gays are tickled "pink" to know that we had power in the WH (that's white house) (hehe) all this time with such a powerful conservative, religious, group "throwing their weight around"!

I have been thinking about this too--not about their danglies, but about how much more convenient man-to-man sex would be for them....

How manly. No wasting time. No having to step out of power to be with a woman.

I don't think it's the same thing as gay. It's more about power. Trying to be men be sticking it to hot military studs. It's the next best thing to serving in the forces.

belief in the diff between domination and romantic pursuit.

i have to find the things i wrote on the importance of ridicule as a politcal tool from a few months ago. i'll repost if i find something.

these ***holes in the WH!

not his "muffin," necessarily, but his thrill.

I keep seeing the face of * as Guke is asking him a question.

It occurs to me that one of the big reasons to have Guke in the press conference was what it did to *'s danglies....

Sorry.

That blush of his is just too telling. And it's just the arrogant kind of thing that * would love.

questions about Armstrong Williams AND (this is priceless) he makes a joke about checking the credentials and/or doing background checks on journalists RIGHT BEFORE calling on The Guck.

Bush HAS to think he's got "one up" on everyone. everything has to be a gotcha.

well, GOTcha!

If you don't follow this site, the poster is allegedly a White House insider, with more details you didn't want to know:

February 19, 2005 ; “The internet anti-Bush people are completely right about the Karl Rove/Gannon love affair business. I have been repeatedly told by people on the inside that would know, that Rove, who is a closet queen, has had an affair with this creep (it's all over now thanks to the heat generated by the alternate media.) Karl likes to be dominated and Gannon, an ageing weight lifter, likes to be around the seat of power...if you will forgive a terrible pun. Also, Fat Karl is the one, informed sources have repeatedly advised me, that leaked the name of Frau Wilson to Novak.

Fat Karl will now abandon his boyfriend with speed and the entire Baboon Palace will try to start newsworthy trouble somewhere else to keep the boobery interested. The Scott Peterson business is behind us so the bet is that Michael Jackson’s new problems will be integrated with horror stories about the Iranians torturing kittens (a la Bill Frist) and threatening to nuke Mother Israel next Monday.

Rove is a very capable specialist at this sort of jiggery-pokery but if these stories keep building and irate staffers continue to leak out nasty truths, Karl might have to take a new job as U.S. Ambassador in Bangkok. Of course if that happened, Bush would curl up and die right under his desk in the oval office. The removal of Fat Karl the Eunuch would be the de facto conclusion of George W. Bush’s awful career as a political figure."

More at http://www.tbrnews.org

Boy, I can't wait for the made-for-TV movie...

Karl likes to be dominated and Gannon, an ageing weight lifter, likes to be around the seat of power...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=203x330564

"The kind of behavior associated with Gannon's flavor of "services," and Bush's affair with Vicktor Ashe, have nothing to do with what most people consider sex. I know this is difficult to understand because we *are* talking about the act of eventually bumping uglies. Make no mistake, that happens in the end (pun intended), but it's not "romantic." All the well-groomed bachelors of a certain age in surrounding the GOP and the While House, they aren't all looking for love. They are "establishing order."