Open letter to Christians.

I need to confess something to all of you people who frequent this board who are of the “Christian” faith. When I was young I thought that at some point I would go through seminary school, get ordained, and preach the virtues of Christian love and compassion to my fellow man. I loved my religion and the spirituality that came with it. Then, I grew up.

At a young age I knew that there was something different about me. I got a tingling sensation in my stomach when I was around other boys that I liked. I didn’t know what it meant, but as I grew up I began to fear the worst. In my conservative little town I heard a lot about the “sin” of homosexuality. On the one hand I was told that God loves everyone unconditionally. In the same breath I heard so-called Christian preachers condemn homosexuals as persons unworthy of God’s love and continued support. I prayed with every fiber of my being that He would reach out and make me “normal.” As I continued down my path of my “sinful” ways, I began to hate myself. I knew that God wouldn’t forsake me if I prayed hard enough, but my inability to change made me sure that I was being punished for something or I was inadequate in some way.

I spent my years in high school immersed in prayer and hating myself for my inability to “fix” my “problem.” The constant bitterness and pain made me angry and withdrawn. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I would have to be alone for the rest of my life to keep everyone away from my “shameful” secret.

As I entered college, I started reading about my “condition” in forums online. I made a startling discovery, Christianity was wrong. The bible was very contradictory, and even Christian theologians had a problem with figuring out what it was that tome was trying to tell them. As I came to the conclusion that the faith I’d given so much power to was not as clear-cut as most Christians would have had me believe, the negative internal emotions that had been stored up over the years of my life were directed outward.

As a direct result of all of this I have been unfeeling, dismissive, insensitive, bigoted, hurtful, in some instances hateful, and sarcastic about the Christian faith. I have dismissed your beliefs as the ravings of unknowledgeable people. I have hurtled insults in your direction, and I’ve actively sought to suppress your influences in my life

As a liberal I’d always thought that I was open-minded enough not to judge people for their beliefs or actions that only influence their own lives. Who cares if you decide to pray in a church (or at home) every day or just Sundays? Who cares if you have a constant and unyielding love of a Christ figure? I must admit every time something bad has happened to you believers, I’ve reacted with glee. The shroud of Turin was shown to be younger than it needed to be and I clapped my hands and danced around the room. They recently found a tomb that is purported to hold the remains of Mary, Joseph, Mary Magdalene, and Christ himself, and I sat in rapturous delight.

I wanted to take a moment to apologize. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been behaving. I’m sorry that I let my own emotions and my own past color the great people that I’ve met who are Christians. Mostly, I’m sorry that I’ve been so close-minded that I couldn’t see your right to express yourself as Christians even though I’ve been clamoring for my own rights of expression.

I pledge to support your right to be yourselves. Even if, in your mind, homosexuality is wrong, if you don’t actively try to curtail my rights I’m okay with you having that belief. Furthermore, I pledge to treat my fellow man the way I want to be treated.

I hope you can all forgive me, and I hope that you call attention to any future indiscretions on my part.

Q3JR4.

for understanding the difference between honest criticism and reflexive snarkiness.

By the way, I met my first "out" gay people in church some 35 years ago, so we're not all bigots. I belong to a parish that I would estimate at somewhere about 1/4 GLBT.

And your OP was really thoughtful and wonderful to read. I'm sorry about the pain that you went through on your journey to find out who you are, but remember that not all of us Christians will condemn you for your nature, nor will we assume you are on your way to hell. Your "salvation" (I hate to speak in Born Again-ese, hence the quotes) is between you and God, as are your "sins." And the majority of Catholics that I know in NYC would embrace you into their fold and their church. (Of course, I realize that would not be the same everywhere, as I live in a pretty liberal area of Brooklyn!)

Best of luck to you, and I am happy that you've come to a place where you realize mutual respect is what we should strive for rather than snarky oneupmanship!

Every Christian is a sinner, as is every non-Christian. Jesus taught us to forgive and to not be judgmental of the sins of others. If I follow the teachings of my Lord, I will not concern myself with the speck in your eye while I have a plank in my own eye.

I am sorry that your life's path has led you away from Christ. Through Him, all sins are forgiven.

Peace to you.

Truly. That was kind and open-hearted, and much appreciated.

The sin of homophobia will be exposed, of that I'm sure. We are moving on from that evil, it truly is happening. Growing pains will be a part of it (my church, the Episcopal Church, is feeling some of this), but I hope that we will all someday be able to repent of the sins against our gay brothers and sisters.

For me, as a straight, married, suburban mom (how boring!), I'll continue to speak out loudly for the full inclusion of gay and lesbians in our society and in my church. God does indeed love you, and all of us, unconditionally. It's the human ugliness that we have such trouble getting by.

I don't think homosexuality is wrong. In fact, I think the question "Is homosexuality wrong?" is wrong. I don't even think it's worth asking. Of course homosexuals are part of the kingdom of God.

Christianity, like every religion and non-religion, is a big tent, filled with assholes and jerks, as well as good decent people.

But I don't believe the universe constructed a rule where that question is beyond the interests of a deity that wants to interfere with the lives of humans.

about the question not being moot.

I don't.

But I also don't disparage you for choosing that kind of a deity - we all have our own choices to make.

Even though nobody knows that gods exist (much less what characteristics they have) you aren't going to criticize someone for (you think) choosing a god who hates gays, even though there could be no other basis for their choice than them also hating gays? Why is that?

(btw, cyborg jim is an atheist)

Hence my answer.

My point is that under the presumption there is an actual deity choosing what it is doesn't make any sense. It is what it is irrelevant of what you might want to choose it to be. Fundies, for all their faults, seem to at least get this.

Sadly, a lot of the fury on religion forums comes from two groups of people:

1) religious people who are terribly scared of anything that forces them to question previously unquestioned beliefs which leads to anger, defensiveness, hyper-dogma etc.
2) non-religious people who have been terribly hurt by religion in the past and carry around a huge weight of pain, resentment and bitterness toward the things they feel they were conned into believing, guilt they should never had had, etc.

Note that I did not say "all" religious people were #1 and all non-religious people were #2. I said that most of the fury on forums comes from those two groups.

Anyway, I certainly understand how difficult it must have been for quite a while not to feel angry at religious folk. I'm very impressed and touched by your honesty and attitude in your post.

:hug: :)