After painstaking, voluminous research, I've finally found a news article worthy of my 1000th post!!! ;)
SOURCE: USAToday
Atheist Offers To Send Letters Post-RapturePosted May 8, 2007
By Katherine Boyle, Religion News Service
Neither snow, nor rain, nor fire and brimstone will keep Joshua Witter from the swift completion of his appointed rounds come the end of the world. Witter, a 24-year-old self-described atheist living in Orlando, is the creator of the Post-Rapture Post, which bills itself as "the postal service of the saved."
For as little as $4.99, Witter offers to deliver your letters to friends and loved ones left behind after the Rapture, when some Christians believe they will be whisked up to heaven while everyone else — the "Left Behind" of the popular book series — suffers a series of tribulations. As Witter sees it, it will fall to the unsaved to serve as the postmen of the Apocalypse.
"Do you want to take the chance that your loved ones will have to suffer through your ascension into Heaven without knowing how you really feel in your heart?" the site asks. "Sign up for the Post-Rapture Post today to guarantee that, while you are gone, you will remain in the thoughts of those left behind."
"Holy crap, a plan B.," wrote one of the site's visitors, known only as Fred B. from Oregon. "This is my kind of religion." Others weren't so charitable. "I am shocked at your website," penned a woman identified as Kim F. "It is not even remotely funny. ... All who are a part of this, surely, God will judge to damnation."
As an atheist, one of the things Witter doesn't believe in is any sort of damnation. Or the Rapture. Or God, for that matter. Even if there is a Rapture, he said, it's best to prepare because Witter is pretty sure he'll be one of the many left behind. "The Bible says that only those that repent of their sins and accept Jesus as the True Son of God will be saved," the site reads. "We do neither. Some of our personal sins include: drunkenness, heresy, sacrilege/blasphemy, gluttony, laciviousness, and sloth. There is no way we are going to disappear into Heaven any time soon."
Witter guarantees that should the Rapture arrive, he would deliver all letters entrusted to him.
more:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2007-05-08-post-rapture_N.htm *** - Persons that might be interested in this service should bear in mind that the cheap $4.99 (form)letter simply says: "Made It - Wish You Were Here" Signed____________.
Further, the Post-Rapture Postal Service assumes the person in question has been Heavenly Raptured™, and the takes no responsibility for persons who may have actually been:
(1) abducted by aliens,
(2) are skipping out on their wives/husbands/SO's, or
(3) those simply hiding out until the end of the Bush Administration
Also, the Post-Rapture Postal Service uses a stamp on the letter that is a portrait of George W. Bush. However, the Service believes that most of its users won't mind this since they expect George to be among their party. And besides, at least they'll get to spit on it.....