An Alternative Reality

About 2 years ago, I attended what was called a "presence group" which formed based on the teachings of Eckart Tolle. It was the first time I had ever attended anything like this. When I arrived there were 8 or 9 people sitting in complete silence in the facilitators living room. After I arrived I found a large comfortable chair to sit in and remained quiet, sometimes closing my eyes and sometimes looking around but the atmosphere was such that a calm just naturally came over me. After about 40 minutes of silence the facilitator had us go around the room and briefly introduce ourselves and how we came to be there. After that we were instructed to just feel our inner life energy and to just be with that for the next half an hour or so and to leave silently whenever we were inclined to do so.
Driving home I didn't notice anything too different, I was just playing with the radio trying to find favorite songs that I could sing along to like I always did. I just noticed a slight feeling of tingling joy beneath the surface that was new to me.
After I got home to my then 4,5, and 6 year old children and my parents who we lived with I noticed that something about me had changed dramatically. As was usually the case in those days, my parents were a constant source of irritation to me especially as I tried to take care of the needs of my small children. A moments peace was not something that came into my day until everyone was asleep and that night was no different especially since I'd been out for a couple hours which I rarely did.
About ten minutes after I was home, my mother came to me to complain about my father's incompetence, a story I'd already heard a 1000 times and normally would have sent me into my impatient frustrated state of mind as I tried to ignore her. But the feeling wasn't there, and I sat there listening to her without wanting to get away or getting angry. As the night wore on it was tested again and again that nothing was going to irritate me. I was a different person having a different experience. It was if I was coming from a different place and all I could see was the insignificance of everything that would normally upset me. In certain ways, I was seeing patterns and causes of behavior that told me none of it was personal to anyone else in any way. While I was keenly aware of everything around me I was also aware of being immersed in some sort of calm energy that had its origin within me.
When I went to an Eckhart Tolle book discussion later that week it occurred to me that most words and conversations were pointless and that everyone was just talking circles around each other without ever connecting to anything. I was extremely entertained with anything that was going on around me without wanting to join into any of it whether I was standing in line or close to people I knew. I had what can only be described as a giddiness about life and to feel this way was a huge relief to me, the proverbial load lifted off my shoulders. Somehow I no longer felt I was solely responsible for how everything in my life turned out and astonishingly, things seemed to turn out better this way. My former irritation with people and situations was completely non-existent. No matter how provoked I was by a harping critical mother, I simply was not affected by it and most times I felt absolutely no need to even respond.
As the days wore on I noticed that I would often feel the need to take deep breaths, so strong was this energy. At night when I laid down in bed I was even more aware of this energy and I was drawn to just lie there and feel it, it felt so good. It lasted two weeks before it left me as quickly as it came. One morning I woke up and by mid-morning I noticed that it was gone. The burdens of life returned and with them the oppressive heaviness I knew too well.
I have tried unsuccessfully to get back to where I was and sometimes feel it when I am jogging or listening to an Eckhart Tolle recording that reminds me of how insane some of the ways most of us think are but lasting peace and joy hasn't returned. If there has been any lasting change it's that perhaps I don't take things quite so seriously and that a fraction of the things that used to bring out a negative reaction in me no longer do so.
All I can assume is that being in that room with 9 other people who were all effortlessly focusing on just being with their life energy somehow had the power to bring me back in contact with my natural state. I did attend the group again the next month and experienced the same thing but sadly it was on a much smaller scale compared to the first time and only lasted a few hours if that.
The only thing I know for sure from this experience is that the reality most of us live in isn't the only one and it's possible to transcend it for one that's much better and is probably the way we were meant to experience life.

Meditation within any discipline will take you places you never thought particularly possible. I fell into it when I was a kid trying to cope with pain everybody told me I didn't have, kids didn't get arthritis.

Years later, my reading told me I'd been doing rather classical jhana meditation. Who knew?

and 30 minutes before retiring. It was one of continuous slow and deep breathing without any pauses but it didn't seem to be doing anything for me and I grew tired of doing something I didn't particularly enjoy. Perhaps, it was the wrong type for me.

:wow:

Have you tried mindfulness meditation? (Also called Vipasanna meditation) There are some excellent guided meditation recordings (mp3) available for free download at http://www.dharmaseed.org/

On the link above you can click on "talks" and type "morning" into the search box for a selection of about 120 recorded morning meditation talks. Altogether there are over 5,000 recorded talks about mindfulness meditation from some of the worlds leading meditation teachers. All free, no strings attached.

By meditating once or twice every day many people are able to recharge that energy each day.

library. Out here in the country, we only have dial-up and it's impossible to download anything like that. LOL But I would just love to be in that place again and would be willing to try anything to get there. I recently made a new friend who is going to take me to a drumming circle and later a sweat lodge. My grandmother was Native American so perhaps that will be another key for me. The best thing about the whole experience is knowing that "it doesn't have to be this way." Hearing it from other people isn't the same as actually knowing it for a fact within yourself. All I have to do is find the opening and I'm not likely to give up since I know there actually is one.

I have had similar experiences reading the works of Wei Wu Wei(Terrence Gray)..

Perhaps if you get some time...

http://www.weiwuwei.8k.com/fpcontents.html


Peace...Rags

In zen-buddhist terminology your experience would probably be called 'kensho'. Have a wonderfull sweat seremnony and drumming circle!

as Heraclitus said, you can't step twice in the same river. Each experience is unique, each path is one of a kind. There are countless ways to reach peace of mind and natural compassion that comes without effort, I can give no advice except to trust your intuition and stay open to possibilities that suit your character and may aid you in your path. Comprehending that the transformation yearned is holistic and organic and affects all areas of life may be helpfull, as well as learning patience. There is no hurry, each moment is preciouss in itself and cause of gratefullness. :)

find instruction at

http://www.buddhanet.net/

their Buddha net Audio is great too, i also like Pema Chodron, Jack Kornfield. their stuff is cheap used at amazon,com

try to find an Insight Meditation group in your area, it really helps to meditate with a group on occasion. it is good to have a teacher.

Rob Nairn has the best book i have run across. it is best to start with Vipassina. on the breath..

http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Mind-Psychology-Rob-Nairn/dp/1570627630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268455020&sr=8-1
"This isn't a psychoanalytic take on meditation but a roll-up-your-sleeves and get-down-to-basics examination of the average mediator's experiences of training the mind in meditation. Nairn, who began practicing meditation in 1964 in India, and who has attended and led numerous meditation retreats, describes the mental processes that a mediator goes through, the obstacles the meditator encounters, and the practices that lead to advancement--all in the most unencumbered language. "

the hardest part of meditation is the walking over and sitting down to do it..!! you dont have to sit on a cushion, a straight back chair is just fine. just do it.. it is simply training the mind. it is like clicking on the Default Tab on your computer after you messed everything up. it takes about a month to start seeing a difference, that is Tolle's problem, its quick, and doesn't last,

meditation actually restructures the dominate regions of the brain...thinking gets more appropriate and effective. one quits associating emotions with thoughts. life gets soft and gentle. you see the mental/emotional crap coming and you can let it go before it grabs you. the bumps smooth out. i meditate in line at the store, walking meditation is really good. anytime there is a pause in the chaos..washing dishes..

i taught meditation in juvenile prison, really scary kids got compassionate and caring, they started protecting the kids they previously brutalized. they got paroled in 60-90 days after 3 years imprisonment, one that got paroled early was being considered for commitment in a mental hospital he was so bad.

meditation is the most effective long term treatment for depression.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation-for-depression/MY00687/rss=1
. "Meditation is a powerful depression treatment tool and you will see results in a short time. You can use this virtually anywhere, anytime. Empower yourself, and share with others if you've had success using meditation for depression".

once you learn it you will fall asleap 2-3 breaths after your head touches the pillow.. it's called Theta Jump, it's why you cant meditate laying down.. you fall asleep before you see it come'n