If you *had* to choose one

Chris, from Wilmington, NC writes:
Mrs. Bowers, you have always been a paragon of class with your lovely wardrobe and impeccable taste in Saviors. Therefore would you please consider passing on some fashion tips to the First Lady? I hate to speak badly of her, as she is a True Christian, but she is sorely in need of your assistance when it comes to her attire.

Betty's Reply:
Upon first seeing Laura descend the staircase at the Texas Governor's mansion wearing colors that didn't belong in the same time zone together (although, given her often ample posterior, this is often not technically a problem), I offered her my first fashion tip: "Do buy a full-length mirror, dear." In subsequent years, watching her personify Republican Glamour by appearing at diplomatic functions wearing elastic waistband velour pantsuits clearly chosen with Pollyannaish optimism with regard to size, I became almost discernibly tetchy in her company, thinking she had ignored my millinery mentoring. It was only years later that I realized that the salutary effects of my seemingly sage advice were significantly undermined by the effect that combining tequila with Xanax has on the human eye's ability to focus.

Bras are often too formal for daytime. Instead, I simply tuck my breasts into the elastic waistband of my Dress Barn skirt (to keep them from giving me a black eye when I gallop through the West Wing). In case the French Embassy has its air-conditioning set too high, I complete the outfit by slinging a white, terrycloth Marriott bathrobe over my arm.