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Freedom_from_Chains Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:36 AM
Original message
Hoping to speed Second Coming, some Christians
O.K. this is proof positive that these people are certifiable and should be carefully watched. However, it wouldn't surprise me if they end up making money as the brief description sounds like they are ending up in leading edge companies.


Hoping to speed Second Coming,
some Christians invest in 'anti-christ' companies

MANCHESTER, Mass. — Laney Thompson believes the Rapture of the church is imminent, and she is so eager to get to her heavenly abode that last week she bought 215 shares of a bio-metrics company, Lazer-I.
"The company is pure evil," she says gleefully while perusing her online trading account. Lazer-I makes equipment which scans fingerprints and eyes, which vendors have begun using in place of credit cards.
Like a growing number of market-savvy Christians, Thompson hopes to speed Christ's appearing by investing in technologies she associates with the Last Days: micro-chip implants, international banks, bio-metrics, even GPS tracking devices.
One mutual fund company has created Last Days Funds, or LDFs, which group together companies whose "products are likely to foster conditions consistent with the Last Days, as described in the Bible."
"I don't see anything wrong with helping the world to get worse," says Alison Chambers of Pittsburgh, a mother of two who checks her family's LDF investments daily. When shares tick up in price she says she "can almost feel the Rapture coming on."
Even some non-believers are adding LDFs to their portfolios, just in case the biblical scenario turns out to be true.
"I'm not a Christian," says one financial investor, "but if the End Times happen like these people believe, I want to be wealthy enough to hide out in the Bahamas." •


http://larknews.com/february_2006/secondary.php?page=4


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teach1st Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:44 AM
Response to Original message
1. It's satire
DISCLAIMER

LarkNews® is a satirical newspaper published by Joel Kilpatrick.
LarkNews uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public
figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and
coincidental.

The content of this web-site is Copyright 2006 by Joel Kilpatrick, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted
in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher.

LarkNews is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
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Freedom_from_Chains Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:57 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. Looks like they got me
but upon further reading they have some pretty good stuff, like this one.

http://larknews.com/february_2006/secondary.php?page=4
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eauclaireliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:44 AM
Response to Original message
2. ummmm...
'bro, I checked out the rest of that Lark site, and I'm pretty sure that it is satire.
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TAPat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:44 AM
Response to Original message
3. Or maybe they're just *using* their *beliefs* to justify
making a pant load of money through companies many would agree are evil.

I doubt many of these LDF companies are Blue, if you catch my drift.

Certifiable, indeed. YIKES!

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Freedom_from_Chains Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
4. LOL, then it looks like they got me on this one
but the way it was presented, and stories I read in the past, it would not surprise me if this was a factual story. LOL


Well I needed a good laugh this morning and what better person to laugh at than myself.
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melnjones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
6. It's sad that it's so believable, lol.
Thank God it's satire.
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Freedom_from_Chains Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 09:05 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I bought it hook line and sinker cause it's right in there
with other stories I have read about Christian fundamentalist. However on looking at the site closer it is satire but pretty good stuff. Like check this one out.

http://larknews.com/february_2006/secondary.php?page=4
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TheBaldyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-11-06 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
8. Buy shares in Horseless Carriages Inc. ?
three words - Barking Effing Mad
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