49ers Front Office Excited For Meeting With Football Player

SAN FRANCISCO—Members of the 49ers front office admitted to frantically cleaning up clutter and rearranging furniture in the team’s conference room several hours before last Friday's scheduled meeting with wide receiver Derrick Mason. “Oh my God, I can’t believe an actual, real-life football player is coming here to meet us,” 49ers president Jed York told reporters before taking a deep breath, wiping sweat from his forehead, and yelling at his colleagues not to come off as too desperate. “Let’s just be cool. We’ll let him be the first person to bring up football, and then we’ll mention that we’re fans of his, real casual. Wait—should we have shoulder pads in here? Is he going to want to play football with us or just talk about football? But maybe he doesn't want to be put on the spot. You think we hung up too many pictures of him on the wall?” At press time, Mason had yet to show, and a visibly solemn York had to be comforted by team GM Trent Baalke, who assured his boss that Mason was probably just stuck in traffic somewhere

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/49ers-front-office-excited-for-meeting-with-footba,21125/

:rofl:

"49ers rookie quarterback looking forward to getting his ass kicked."

SAN FRANCISCO—Rookie quarterback Colin Kaepernick of San Francisco is excited about playing behind the 49ers weak offensive line.

"There's nothing like a good ass-kicking'" said the 2011 second round pick. "I look forward to getting my bell rung like many of my predecessors.

Getting hit hard -- and often -- will be a new experience for Kaepernick. "Good pass protection can get boring after a while. I mean, sure, it was great playing for Nevada and racking up big stats, but I'm looking forward to setting some new lows in San Francisco." said Kaepernick. "There's nothing like a good serving of humble pie."

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I think the Onion dropped the ball

:o

Like the '85 Bears, the L.A. Rams' Super Bowl team, the Purple People Eaters and the New York Sack Exchange all rolled into one.

Or not. :eyes:

though pass protection and run blocking have been big problems on that line ever since Larry Allen left.