NFL Wonderlic test of College players

Here's a sample of the questions:

1. If the Ohio State tailback gets $42,000 from a Buckeye booster but the Escalade he wants is $57,000, he should:

a) Buy a different SUV
b) Take a job he doesn't have to show up for from another booster to cover the difference
c) Ask for more money
d) Transfer to an SEC school with much more generous boosters (Bonus: if your answer mentioned the word Alabama)

2. Texas A&M scores 46 points against Miami in a bowl game. How many staff members will Larry Coker fire the next week?

3. If Joe Paterno's team loses a close game, how long before his players will be allowed to talk to the media again?

4. Which of these numbers in the following group is the largest?
a) 10 x 14 x 5
b) 632
c) 1,000 - 275 + 30
d) Charlie Weis' cholesterol level

5. A linebacker is 21. The underage girl he sleeps with is 15. While driving home from taking her out clubbing, he is pulled over and declared to be driving with a BAC at thrice the legal limit Coach Phil Fulmer then finds out by reading about it in Sports Illustrated. How many plays against an unranked non-conference team would he have to sit out as a punishment?

6. If ESPN's Gameday crew were to go to Arkansas to cover a game, how much netting would be needed to protect Kirk, Lee and Chris Fowler from objects thrown by Razorback fans?
a) none
b) 200 feet
c) all Home Depot sells in a three city area
d) Trick question: Gameday would never go to Arkansas

7. Marcus Vick runs a 4.4 and Maurice Clarett runs a 4.48 but the 9mm Glock hidden in Clarett's waistband is heavier. Who has a better chance of out-running the cops and evading arrest?

8. If the world's largest sequoia tree is almost 3,000 years old and the earth's crust is 5 billion years old, how old is Bobby Bowden if he started coaching before either?

9. If Michigan has a 12 point lead with under 6 minutes left in the game, how much time will be left on the clock when the opposing team scores the winning touchdown?

a) 3 minutes
b) 1 minute
c) :35 seconds
d) none, last play of the game and immediately named ESPN Instant Classic

10. Your team's stadium holds 96,000 fans but regularly only sells 32,000 tickets to its home games. How long will it take the team bus to drive back to Coral Gables?

11. If you watch two hours of ESPN pre-game, four hours of post-game and six versions of SportsCenter during which Beano Cook appears 15% of each broadcast, how many times will you want to gouge your eyes out with a tongue depressor?

12. Floyd of Rosedale is:

a) Barney Fife's neighbor from the old ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW
b) The current WWF champion
c) A college football trophy as coveted as winning a giant stuffed animal at the state fair

13. If a Onepeat.com LSU fan wastes 60% of each day stewing over the shared title with USC in 2003, how many hours will he have left each week to not date women?

14. Urban Meyer is observed crying at a press conference. What is the reason?

a) He is so proud of his players for how hard they tried
b) He just got a whiff of Phil Fulmers sweat drenched shirt
c) He is gay

EXTRA CREDIT: If Lou Holtz is brought in to rebuild your program, how many years of NCAA probation will your school receive when he leaves?

:shrug:

/bitter A&M grad

Hey, at least it doesn't look like a Cane tallied single digits on the Wonderlic this year. That had become almost as guaranteed as beating the Gators.

huh?

:evilgrin: