Cynical Baseball thoughts and Boston sports fan slamming

The Mets are playing the Diamondbacks and you better believe I'm going. Box my seats right behind box seats, field level, behind home plate. . .on Sunday with Pedro Martinez pitching.

Now, this season is going great for me right now. My team is in 1st place and has been all season. But, there are certain things I must bring up.

1: NL CENTRAL
Albert Pujols is a pussy. You slip, fall, break your ass and you're out "indefinately." Way to gut check, you wimp! Way to doom your undertalented pitching staff and mediocre lineup to a team like the Reds??? BTW, all your Cardinal fans. . .before you get stupid, let's look at your team. One person in the lineup has over 10 homeruns (and he's out because his vagina hurts), one starting pitcher (Carpenter) has an ERA under 4. Well, I know, Sidney O'Fat has a 3.54 ERA. . .give it time. Sir Sidney O'Fat sucks and if you're banking on him to get you to the promised land, hang it up now. There is no speed on this team (Taguchi has 5 steals, your team leader) and your bullpen is marginal. . .Isringhausen is good, but take it from me. . .Looper sucks! Face it, Cardinal fan. . .this is not looking good for you!

2: NL EAST
Someone put a fork in the Atlanta Braves. . .they are done. Never in the history of sports has a team gone to the post season so many times in a row (14), gotten to the big dance over 35% of the time (5) and won basically nothing (1 World Series win in 1995). 1 World Series win in 5 tries while going to the playoffs 14 straight times. . .only the Buffalo Bills have a worse track record than the Braves. Chipper Jones must have been juicing. . .he looks and plays like a 50 year old man at the age of 34. He does not have the power numbers (6 HRs to date) and hits for shit. Andruw Jones must also be on Steriods. 51 homeruns after never hitting more than 36 in a season. WHAT??? Brady Anderson and Adrian Beltre (more on him in a moment) did the same thing. That Braves pitching staff is horrendous and that bullpen is stroke inducing. Face it, Braves it. . .it's over.

3: NL WEST
If you want a laugh, check out www.dodgerblues.com. This is a site showcasing the shit and crap of the Brooklyn. . .oops, sorry, LA Dodgers. The Dodgers have been to the Playoffs 21 times in their history, won 6 world series titles and none since 1988. The Dodgers are a fucking joke. With the exception of one streaky "ace" in Derek Lowe, that pitching staff will keep managers in insominac fits at night. Let's not discount that shitbrick closer you have in Danys Baez. 6 blown saves already. Garbage. But the entire NL West is a joke. In Arizona, outside of Brandon Webb, that starting pitching staff sucks. Their lineup is joke inducing and they can't field worth shit. San Diego sucks, Colorado will never win a damn thing and the saga of Barriod Bonds is just sinking any credibility the New York. . .er, San Francisco Giants have. . .er, had!

4: AL WEST
Seattle fans. . .aren't you just so happy your spending $12.8 million dollars a year (5 yrs, $64 million) for the services of Adrian Beltre? Wow! Look what you're getting for that money:

In his career has a Mariners, Beltre is batting an anemic .243 with a paltry 23 HRs, 107 RBIs, a .389 SLG, a .293 OBP and a .682 OPS. That was fucking money well spent. But, hey, you're stuck with him. I knew that last season LA was a mistake. No way a career .265 hitter keeps up a .334 average with that many home runs. Brett Boone had a season like that. So did Brady Anderson. . .and Andruw Jones. . .in fact, Barry Bonds has one too. . .where he never hit more than 46 HRs, then hit 73. What is that substance everyone says they are on? Jason Grimsley was just busted for having it. Manny Alexander was busted in Boston for possessing them. . .oh well, STEROIDS!!!!

5: AL CENTRAL
Are these the shitty Tigers we're used to seeing? Seriously, the Tigers have the best record in baseball. Is this a parallel universe? The Tigers haven't been this solid since Sparky Anderson was their manager back in the days of Alan Trammell and Louis Whitaker. However, the biggest bone headed trade of the year belongs to Philadelphia. Jim Thome for Aaron Rowland??? The White Sox lineup is just fucking sick now. That pitching staff is good, the bullpen is solid and that lineup is powerful. Hey, at least Philly has 26 year old Ryan Howard. . .better with the power, worse with the glove and either swings for the fences or swings and misses (173 Ks in 566 ABs). Only Bobby Bonds and Jose Hernandez strike out more.

6: AL EAST
Okay. . .how flattly gives a shit anymore about the AL East? Yeah, Toronto is 2.5 behind the Yankees and the Red Sox are only 1/2 game back. . .yawn! Baltimore and Tampa Bay suck. . .the Yankees are beat up, the Red Sox are only and dysfunctional and Toronto hasn't done shit since Joe Carter. . .who cares? Yankees will pull out some magic and win the division again and we'll have to listen to Boston fan bitch, cry, whine, moan and complain about how lucky the Yankees are. I FUCKING HATE BOSTON RED SOX FANS!!!! Never has a fan base felt they were their team was gold when they are normally silver. Never has a team and a fan base had such a penis envy problem! Jesus Christ, get the fuck over yourselves. It took you 86 years to win a World Series and you fucks act like your team has won it all in that time. Fuck you, fuck your city, fuck your teams and go fuck yourselves!!! Only Arizona Diamondback fans are more in love with themselves.

NFL NOTE TO SLAM BOSTON
And don't, Boston fan, give me the Patriots. . .your QB is a system QB with little talent outside the system and I still remember your 14 wins over 4 seasons, including your blistering 1 - 15 season. You're not a Dynasty, asshole. SF was a Dynasty. Pittsburgh was a Dynasty. Dallas didn't even qualify. In fact, Denver is a dynasty because no team has been as consistently good over the past 25 years than the Denver Broncos. Since 1984, Denver's been 219 - 131 - 1 with 2 Super Bowls in five tries, having never fallen below 5 - 11 and only having 3 losing seasons. Since 1984, New England asshole. . .your team's been 183 - 167, winning 3 Super Bowls in 5 tries, falling to 1 - 15 in 1990 and having 7 losing season. Sorry, New England. Fuck you and your 3 Super Bowls in four years. Dallas did it too. Win as consistently as Denver and we'll talk. Because, for all your supposed glory, you've been the same amount of Super Bowls and have won just one more than Denver.

"I FUCKING HATE BOSTON RED SOX FANS!!!! Never has a fan base felt they were their team was gold when they are normally silver. Never has a team and a fan base had such a penis envy problem! Jesus Christ, get the fuck over yourselves. It took you 86 years to win a World Series and you fucks act like your team has won it all in that time. Fuck you, fuck your city, fuck your teams and go fuck yourselves!!!"

I don't have a penis, don't want one thank you, and I'm certainly not envious of someone who has one.

What is your problem?

Am I entitled to my opinion? Am I entitled to be cynical?

Am I entitled to rant?

It's easy to rant on an anonymous messgae board. One can forget that they attack people with their hateful words.

But, it's only sports. It's not like you were attacking Ann Coulter or Bush or their like. Nope, attacking all the Sox fans who frequent DU. Nice.

:eyes:

I live in Tucson, Arizona.

There, I am not anonymous anymore.

"shrugs" . . . who cares. . . . I could care less how my team's doing... going to watch them all the same. They gave me my W.S in 95 . . now if only the Dolphins would give me my fucking superbowl grrrr. . . (Yah I know . . going to have to wait)

Of course calling it over in June is just a tad soon . . .

I mean after all Phillie could.. well they..

okay so Mets are going to win the division . . . that's nice.