the end of the beginning --

his job was gone. they had given him sign up papers wednesday evening. he called her saturday morning. something odd, he had noticed about a month ago. she wasn't happy. was she? she had acted so weird, a month ago. he just did not think she was happy. he would would not be down that night. it was all her fault. she had acted funny a month ago.

he loved her. he wanted to marry her. she kissed him good-bye at the airport, passionately. people passing by, smiled. he had to run. it was late. he would call her the minute he landed. he didn't.

they were young and in love. it was wonderful. he was a drummer in a rock-n-roll band. she was making a name with her oils, on canvas. flowers blooming, birds singing, blue skies and sunny days. they double dated with their best friends. the high school prom was fun. it was spring of their junior year. they had signed up for senior classes. it was all settled and life was good.

that afternoon her father came home. he had been away on a business trip. good news for his family. he was so proud of himself. they had offered him a better job. they asked him to relocate. they needed him at corporate headquarters. more money. bigger house. nicer cars. more trips to europe.

momma was horny for trips to europe. sophisticated and glamorous, she was. he must make more money. she needed it, you know. no time to be bothered with details. children? bah, what a bother. another nanny.

the drummer and the artist? their plans? their dreams? their hopes and their schemes? it would be all right. they would write. and they did. she wrote him first. school sucked. rednecks everywhere. riots all around. she missed him. she loved him. she waited for his letter. her hands trembled as she opened it. school was good. the band had several gigs lined up. there was this girl. she really liked him. good-bye.

I cut out my heart today
I was looking for my soul
but, No I did not find it
Just left a bloody hole

I cut out my guts
looking for it there
but, No I did not find it
beginning to wonder if I care

I think my brain is the problem
so I sliced it thin with a knife
my soul, I did not find it
and yet I am still alive

I thought I heard it calling
was it blowing in the wind?
but, No I could not find it
for all the money I did spend

is it the whispers of a teardrop
trailing softly down my cheek
but, No I can not find it
It is my soul that I seek

or, is it with my shadow
then it is there I must go
I promise to wait silently
until I see it glow

she was having trouble with her pictures, stored in her computer, somewhere. the website requested that she post one. the website would not upload from her account. she has moved her pix to her account. oh.well. drat the luck. hey! here is an oldie and a current pic stuck back in her computer. direct from her computer, the website accepts them, finally! immediately, the website notified her -- pilotcharlie has made her a 'favorite'. who is this guy? she checks out his profile, good looking and seems capable of intelligent conversation on a certain material level. he lives about 45 minutes away, closer than the last one. he talks about the pix. he has a ton of pix of himself. he takes very good care of himself and, it shows. she tells him, up front that she has gained about 20 pounds. still, he asks for more pix. so, she sends some. the website notified her -- pilotcharlie had made her a favorite, again(?). good to know(!). hello, can you send more pix? here are some more of me. glorious me! she thinks, 45 miles is too far to drive to meet this man. she wonders, is it worth driving 23 miles to meet him? good.lord. the website notifies her -- hemansportswatcher69 has made her a favorite.

5-17-07 (her ex's b'day)

confused, she wrote to him:
i am kinda at a loss for words. you are just having fun,
right?
cos...you are married or sumpin' right?

explanation, he replied:
Truth? There's about a couple of dozen things I'd like to say
to you, and it's crazy, I know, 'cause I don't even know your
name, but I don't dare say them. All I CAN say right now, is
that life ain't fair. In life, timing is everything, and mine
stinks. I would like to say just this, though; you are a very
beautiful person, and I apologize for overstepping any
boundaries.
_____________________________________________________________________

the last letter.
9-11-07 (anniversary of twin towers)

he writes:
Need to talk to you. Are you here?

she writes:
whassup?

he confesses:
B. and I had a long talk this morning. It was long
overdue. I can't blame her for withdrawing from me, anymore
than I can blame myself. We both agreed to work on fixing our
relationship.

she knew all along:
well. d'uh.
___________________________________________________________________

I find the lack of capitalization distracting, though.

Wonder if it signals a lack of conviction.

If I gave a speech in front of a group, but I insisted on doing
it with the lights out, or with my back turned, or wearing a
funny hat, or talking in a squeaky voice, people might wonder
if I really meant it.

I think non-standard punctuation and capitalization has much
the same effect.

stuff. and, i am lazy as hell at the keyboard. also, ee cummings is one of my heros. thanks for the feedback.

way i see it -- if i were ever published (haha! yeah, right. dream on chick) i would let the editors and proofreaders have some input.

thanks.

It is my excruciating pleasure to announce at the expense of various
advanced alien culutres, a party at the milieu of House Midgard...
The time space cooridnate:
Spatial coordinate----

Portland, Ecotopia

Temporal Coordinate----
730pm (1930 hours)
Friday
30 October

You are encouraged to bring friends of all species, also appreciated
would be party supplies. Costumes are of course requested if not req-
uired, and you may check your Mundane personality at the door.

As always, brought to you by the House Midgard. Ask for us by name.
Our motto:"Mutate now, avoid the rush." *-)

His job was gone.
They had given him sign up papers Thursday evening.
He called her Saturday morning.
Something odd, he had noticed about a month ago.
She wasn't happy. Was she?
She had acted so weird, a month ago.
He did not think she was happy.
He would not be down that night.
It was all her fault.
She had acted funny a month ago.

He loved her.
He wanted to marry her.
She kissed him good-bye at the airport, passionately.
People passing by, smiled.
He had to run. It was late.
He would call her the minute he landed.

He didn't.

They were young and in love. It was wonderful. He was a drummer in a rock-n-roll band. She was making a name with her oils, on canvas. Flowers blooming, birds singing, blue skies and sunny days. They double dated with their best friends. The high school prom was fun. It was spring of their junior year. They had signed up for senior classes. It was all settled and life was good.

That afternoon her father came home. He had been away on a business trip. Good news for his family. He was so proud of himself. They had offered him a better job. They asked him to relocate. They needed him at corporate headquarters. More money, bigger house, nicer cars, more trips to Europe.

Momma was horny for trips to Europe. Sophisticated and glamorous, she was. He must make more money. She needed it. No time to be bothered with details. Children? bah, what a bother. Another nanny, no problem.

The drummer and the artist? Their plans, their dreams, their hopes and their schemes? It would be all right. They would write. And they did. She wrote him first. School sucked. Rednecks everywhere. Riots every day. She missed him. She loved him. She waited for his letter. Her hands trembled as she opened it. School was good. The band had several gigs lined up. There was this girl. She really liked him. Good-bye.

She was having trouble with her pictures. Stored in her computer, somewhere. The website insisted that she post one. The website would not upload from her photbucket account. She had moved her pictures to her photobucket account. Hey! here is an old picture and a current picture stuck back in her computer.

The website accepts them.

Immediately, the website notified her -- PilotCharlie has made her a 'favorite'. Who is this guy? She clicks on his profile: good looking and seems capable of intelligent conversation on a certain material level. He lives about 45 minutes away. He talks about the pictures. He has a ton of pictures of himself. He takes very good care of himself and, it shows. She tells him, up front, that she has gained about 20 pounds.

He asks for more pictures. She sends some more pictures.

The website notified her -- PilotCharlie had made her a favorite, again(?). good to know(!).

Hello, can you send more pictures? Here are some more of me. Glorious me!

She thinks, 45 miles is too far to drive to meet this man. She wonders, is it worth driving 23 miles to meet him? good.lord.

The website notifies her -- HemanSportswatcher69 has made her a favorite.

If it were in my power. Your request would be granted.

RIP Bakerfields