Reality check: Life isn't fair

not to be snarky. by no means.

but let's face it. if the world, people and laws don't give you full status because of the way you were born --life just isn't fair. this may apply based on things such as sexual orientation, race, religious lineage, disability, growing up impoverished, being born in a third world nation, or gender identity.

now the thing is, everyone who can identify with the concept should recognize the unfairness. i mean, it's there. it's not like life is fair except for A, B and C. fairness is probably the exception many times and where it exists it was hard fought for and won.

Anyway:

we should try to change it.

we shouldn't accept it.

we should not be silent about it's effects whether it happens to a group we belong to, identify with or one we don't.

but should we really be surprised it's this way? the good thing about this worldview is that you focus on how to change this in big ways and in small, rather than remaining stuck in the phase where we act surprised that the world and this life is the way it is. that prevents us from focusing on changing that in my opinion.

say they were surprised. Sad to say, I doubt anyone is surprised.

Secondly, isn't outrage an important and necessary component of change? It is the match that lights the fire? I think so. If African Americans just even-mindedly accepted being treated as second class citizens, they would probably STILL be treated that way. There has to be resistence to create change.

Isn't anger a natural, important catalyst for change?

thought he would be different when it came to supporting our community (even if he couldn't bring himself to say that he supported gay marriage...at least he was against Prop 8).

I admit it, I was wrong. I will now treat him like every other politician.

not "accepting" the status quo is also appropriate.

i'm just getting at what seems to be some sort of surprise among some folks.

i mean, we all know the score --right?

that's all i was saying. i'm not even sure if it was worth pointing out.

it just reminds me of a lot of hard tasks that i set out to do, especially when working with others. i often have to remind them,

"it's not enough to be right.

"being right and saying it is not enough to set things right."

"setting things right means convincing other people who disagree with you to set things right by either changing their mind about what's right or appealing to their interest to work for the right."

is so delusional :eyes:

I did not say not to be angry. I suggested that the anger (or that energy) be refocused towards any step, large or small that helps change this reality, this unfairness.

I'm sure MLK was angry quite frequently and rightly so. That said, it's clear that his energies were strategically focused on changing things in small ways and large.

to me, this is a little like the 5 stages of grief.

conceptually, we probably all know the world isn't fair, but as a practical matter, do we act like the world isn't fair?

it's like stuff happens and i dare say, it's hard to surprise me anymore. when i'm at my best is not when i'm angry but when i'm focused on change and systematically thinking what *I* will do and what effect that action will have towards some goal --sometimes some ultimate fairness. in that case, yes, dwelling (for too long) distracts me from what needs to be done to change it. now, i'm not one to judge how long others are angry. but it's right to ask yourself, "how am i directing my energy?"

my apologies

but everyone should always be thinking..."okay, i don't like this, so what am *I* going to do about it?".

and we probably won't automatically have the answer, but will have to think about what options are open to us and what outcomes each option could help or lead to.

anger is what a victim rightly feels. action is what the victim can do to no longer be that victim.

( i.e. being surprised by a DEM politician)

That said: I'd still support Obama... even over Clinton. Especially over Clinton.

*That* said: he's fucking up badly and I expect to be all over him and the crew... at least until midterm elections; probably beyond.

but thanks for your condescending lecture! Pity you don't drop into our forum to explain The Way Things Are more often.

"Anyway:

we should try to change it.

we shouldn't accept it."

Isn't that why we voted for Obama? Change? Or did we vote for the unfairness of the status quo?

and it wasn't a political post.

it was my take on the lack of civil rights and the fight for them.

and i kind of thought that the purpose of these forums was to express our thoughts about issues, big and small.

could be perceived as condescending? And maybe just a little callous?

life isn't fair. but the reason i don't think it was callous is because i focused on how recognizing that frees you to change it. to some extent you have to accept that, "yes, the world dishes this kind of stuff out, unfairly, but *I* can help change that if I can figure out what to *do*."

that's all.

anger is not my best or most productive place. if i stay there, my mind goes in circles and i don't have much to show for the energy it takes to maintain anger. but, if i focus on what i do and how that changes this circumstance, I feel empowered to actually do something about what's caused the anger in the first place.

YMMV.

for every thing in life.

The good news is that there is a strong and active GLBTQ, and allies, community that can no longer be silenced because there is strength in numbers, unity and the inter net brings us all together.

That's why the Warren choice is so offensive, that's why such a strong response is getting media attention all day long, this crap cannot be pulled off and then swept under the rug any longer.

It doesn't work. John Dean wrote a whole book about how it doesn't work, Conservatives without Conscience. He's much smarter than I am and not running for office, either. :)

I don't believe for a minute that Obama is trying to reach out to anyone in service of our culture. He has a political agenda and for now, civil rights -- including those of women's health -- are not as important to him as cementing a working relationship with right wing bigots. Under the frosting, that's the deal.