Thanks to everyone who responded to my post from last night.

The absolute hardest thing to deal with as a parent is when one sees their son or daughter in pain. Last night, my son's heart was broken by his dad, someone who is supposed to protect that same heart. The sadness and disappointment in my son's voice killed me. The best I could do last night is reassure him that he is loved by me without question and make sure he knew that there are so many people who feel the same as I do, in spite of what his had said to him.

Then, my instinct was to kick his dad's ass three ways to Sunday. But I refrained from any sort of response because I didn't want to do or say anything that any of us would regret later. That's when I turned to DU because I had to go somewhere with my own feelings. I must say that the advice and thoughtfulness I received was overwhelming and exactly what I needed to hear.

Now that I've put some time between myself and the event of last night, I don't feel angry at my son's dad so much as I feel sad that he seems to be allowing his own issues to interfere with being able to see what a wonderful human being his son is. I also realize that it has probably always been this way, for one reason or another.

The difference now is that my son is becoming aware of the fact his dad is at best a fair weather dad. Until now I've been able to pick up the pieces and leave the relationship as intact as possible. I don't think I was wrong to do this because I never wanted my prejudices toward my ex to interfere with the relationship they had as father and son. It wasn't ideal either, but the situation isn't and I did the best I could with what I had.

So. The next step for me is to make sure my son is ok. I'm going to go to him armed with many of the wonderful words my fellow DUers have provided. I can't thank you guys enough for the wisdom and perspective that you've given me. I needed to take a step back and that's what you gave me. Thank you.

I am going to let my son's dad know that the tragedy in this situation has nothing to do the kiddo, but in fact is on hundred percent his own. I don't know what else I'm going to tell him, but there will be more, it depends upon what my son has to say. I also don't care what the impact is as far as the rest of my son's dad's family is, they aren't worth my son's well-being and they never were.

Thanks again, DU!

:hug:

I just talked to my favorite son and he's 100% better than he was last night. He doesn't want anything to do with his dad, but that's ok. I'm going to let him find his way.

In the mean time, I'm going to listen to all things World of Warcraft because that's what he wants to talk to me about.

Kids, gotta love 'em.

And am glad for your son's sake that he has you in his corner! :hug:

Sounds like he is well on the path of enlightenment, in no small part thanks to your guidance. And many kudos to you for not allowing your prejudices toward dad interfere. In a roundabout way, I'm in a similar boat with my ex and our son, and I have to tell myself from time to time to take the high road and trust that my son will be smart enough to figure out what is true and what is leftover venom from a bitter divorce. All I can do is remind him that I'll love him no matter what.

Peace to you!

Kudos to you for being able to step back where your kiddo is concerned. I know it isn't easy to do. Our kiddos are gonna be all right!

:)