What to call someone who hates gays?

Lynda Hurst
Feature Writer

Earlier this week, in a wee-small-hours dust-up with rapper will.i.am outside a downtown club, celebrity-gossip blogger Perez Hilton reached for the worst insult he could think of – and summoned up "faggot."

When the proverbial hit the fan, the openly gay Hilton quickly recanted.

"I was in an out-of-the-ordinary situation and used a word that I would not utter under normal circumstances," he said in a statement. "Clearly, I am not homophobic."

== ==

Faggot as an epithet for gay men, or any male not exhibiting standard masculine behviour, has been around for about 100 years, though in today's more enlightened times, it's rarely heard – outside of school hallways, that is.

But "homophobic," an all-purpose label for those who disapprove of gay sexuality, didn't enter the language until the early 1970s. It was coined by New York clinical psychologist George Weinberg, who defined it as "the irrational fear, hatred and intolerance" of homosexuals. He believed it was a medical disorder.

Weinberg had been trained to regard homosexuality as a pathology. But he turned the tables to argue that the "sickness" lay elsewhere.

For the fledgling gay-liberation movement, the new term was a potent boost, an enormously effective weapon in its fight against discrimination.

"The term stood a central assumption of heterosexual society on its head by locating the `problem' of homosexuality not in homosexuals, but in heterosexuals who were intolerant of it," says Gregory Herek, a University of California (Davis) psychologist and leading gay-rights researcher.

== ==

full article... http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/article/656807

>>>>>>Others suggest replacing homophobic with "homonegative" to reflect disapproval – not fear and hatred – of homosexuality and as a more accurate reflection of society as a whole. Still others offer "heterosexism," the cultural presumption that everyone is heterosexual, that it's the normal state.>>>>>

The "underused" aspect is part of it's power. People hear it infrequently ( or perhaps have never heard it) and are forced into thinking mode. "Homophobia" has become part of the political/cultural wallpaper. "Heterosexism" grabs the attention and causes dormant neurons to fire.

Thinking occurs. Progress is made.

This cannot be bad.

"Racist" is generic, it doesn't mean "whitist" or "blackist" or "Japanesist", it means prejudiced (preferably acting on prejudice) against a person of another race. Racist has been stretched considerably in meaning lately, but as it means "prejudice based in hereditary identity" then it could apply to anti-gay people.

"Sexist" is also generic. It can mean a man or woman, but can also mean a thought or action based in the stereotype or assumed role of male or female. Sexist could be applied to anti-gay people as well.

The problem with homophobe and heterosexist is that unlike racist and sexist these terms only work in one direction. If a straight person who won't rent to a gay person is a homophobe/heterosexist then what is a gay person who won't rent to a heterosexual?

.

Saw it on a protest sign after Prop 8.

And then loss of revenue if they are in the public eye or even at a community level. That also helps. That's something that will make them think about where they fit in their community and how their behavior, their thoughts and actions fit in or not. Bullies don't respond unless they feel as a victim would - that's part of their cycle.

It's really tame and innocuous, but for some reason, it fucking KILLS them.

On edit: I'm being disingenuous, because I actually know EXACTLY why it kills them. It reduces their entire identity to a one-dimensional focus on their sex habits. Which is exactly how the bigots see us. I can't think of anything more apropos.

I've had this derogatory thing hurled at me for simply being in the room (being at the time young, fluffy, straight, and blonde, I was like other similar women the target for a lot of misplaced rage) . . . and having been told that this term is used as an insult for straight women by my gay male friends . . . and recognizing that for 95% of recorded history and presumably well before then it was women, not men, who were defined and controlled around their reproductive capacity . . . and recognizing that there are plenty of het people who don't have children, and gays and lesbians who do. . .

Wow. I really hope you stop using this term and encourage others to stop also.

Heterosexist for interpersonal situations, bigot for more adversarial . . . that's the way I'd go.

When I was first introduced to it, it was clearly expressed to me that it referred to ALL heterosexual people, women AND men. I've used it in that context ever since, but always with the understanding that it is considered a slur. In other words, I'd never use it in mixed company (gay and straight people), or in a joking manner except with my closest straight friends, but I reserve the right to use it when confronted with hateful straight bigots. "Bigot" is too generic and means nothing to people who don't consider themselves bigots. "Breeder" hits 'em where they live.

Find me a better word, and I'll use it.

I've had enough posts deleted also "Stratey" is fun to annoy. they've been deleting that one on me too

.. as well as straight friends. To me, it's like a white person saying to another white person that Marion Barry is an nword. While certainly not a minority opinion amongst whites or blacks, if you are the friend being spoken to and you happen to have a black nephew you're not likely to think it's a matter of nuance or context.

I am straight and though I choose not to breed, I don't understand the point of insulting that particular ability. Since many bigots attack gays for their biological predisposition and that is clearly unwelcome, why would a gay person attack straights for their biological predisposition?

zazen I think you are exactly right about why it is appropriate. Being a woman and someone who resents the hell out of the way men have tried to make us nothing more than their toys and "breeders" I still think the term does exactly what you say it does and lacking something that does the same I think it is acceptable. Nobody likes to be thought of only by their sex habits or their use but that is exactly what is done to you. There would be no need for name calling at all if we were all treated equally and I mean that for you as well as for all women.

For what it's worth, I (thankfully) don't have call to use it very often...I live in a pretty tolerant part of the country, and have many supportive friends and family. When I encounter real bigotry, it's usually at an open gay event; there always seems to be one or two 'phobes on the periphery who love to sling slurs at individuals or small groups heading to or from the event...but too chicken-shit to actually walk up and attack us all at once. Those are the kind of people I reserve my insults for.

It is an insult to anyone who has children and may very well be in agreement with gay rights. People who are like me and my wife.

It's like comparing responsible parents to the fricking Duggars who pop em out for Jesus.



That and nothing in my mind says "bitter" like anyone who uses the word "breeder"...be they homosexual or simply not having kids and feel dispairaged by those who do.

It's an INSULT. It's an INSULT that I use against people who insult ME. Sorry you and your wife are offended, but I am indeed bitter about being disparaged by heterosexuals.

It's pretty easy to take the high ground when people aren't shouting "faggot!" at you on a regular basis.

Hateful assholes they may be...you can't counter hate with more hate. Bravery and kindness yes.

But given the fact that Breeder is the ONLY term suggested on this thread that has raised the displeasure of ANY straight people, I'd say it's EXACTLY the term to be used as an insult when confronted by hateful straight people.

You need all the straight allies you can get. I have met so many straight folks that start bitchin' with that lame ass hate and I ask "So how many gays or lesbians do you actually know?" They don't know any.

That's where you come in being out and loud and proud and friendly as the day is long. Win the hearts and minds that can be won. I know so many cool and freindly lesbians and gays that frankly anyone who doesn't like them for who they are don't know them yet.

Call them hateful bigots and know-knothing fuckwits. Do not insult someone else's sexuality. Hell even insulting their religion if that's what they choose to hide behind is somewhat counter-productive.

Fight but fight positively.

http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#angry

People insulted by the word "breeder" have issues. I say this as a straight gal.

And there are straight people here who act like calling people a bigot is the same as the 'f' word. It. Just. Never. Ends.

You're correct that it is wrong of me to use the word to insult people. You are correct that it insults the innocent as much as the guilty...if they choose to be insulted. However, I will not stop using it, and I will not apologize for it. It's a weapon in an extremely limited arsenal that I possess.

I'm not about turning the other cheek, or being the bigger man. I never claimed to be a saint. I also never claimed to represent all of gaydom. I'm just a guy who gives what he gets. Come to me with openness and understanding, and that's what you'll get from me. Come to me with hatred and bigotry, and I'll give it right back.

I don't judge all straight people by the actions of a few. The ones I call breeders are the ones who've attacked ME, or people like me. Those are the ones who get my disdain and my contempt. And any straight person who happens to overhear my words, and uses them to form a negative judgment about ALL gay people? THEY DESERVE THEM.

It's pretty common around here for straight people to tell gay people that we need all the straight allies we can get, and that we can't afford to piss anyone off. It seems to me that anyone who can be turned against gay people after hearing just one or two slurs from one or two gay people isn't much of an ally.

You should be supporting us because you believe in equality for all, not because we kiss your ass and don't call you names. Frankly, I'm not interested in your opinion of how to fight this war.

Just saying more flied with honey than vinegar.

You wouldn't dream of telling a black man who'd just endured a racial slur that he needed to be sweet and understanding.

I am NOT sweet and understanding. I don't NEED to be sweet and understanding, because I'm not going around trying to marginalize an entire group of people. I am sick of being discriminated against, by bigots, by elected officials, and by fellow citizens. I am not the one who needs to be understanding. I am not the one who needs to be sweet.

Why do straight people feel the onus is on gay people to "bridge the gap"? Why not hold your own bigoted brethren accountable instead of us?

Know how many times I've insulted ANYONE who hasn't insulted me first? ZERO.

*I* am not the problem. Bigoted, ignorant straight people are. Take your message of flies and honey to them.

I personally don't need any advice from strates about how I need to behave. A mirror is what they need; then look long and hard into it.

You're in the "right" here, not the ignorant...

I FIGHT fire with fire now...

sorry if that chafes your butts...

I have ceased being docile when bullied - it's amazing how effective FIGHTING BACK works...

shouting "n!gg3r" at a black person, "ch!nk" at an asian person, "terrorist" at a muslim, "breeder" at a straight couple with children, should they then feel empowered to shout "f@ggot" in return?

An eye for an eye right?

If you ever find me guilty of yelling any of those things at someone who hasn't insulted me, please feel free to give me whatever I am dishing out.

It's very easy for me to make that bargain, because I don't go around insulting people for no reason. Unlike a large portion of straight people.

Do I not count?

Pretty simple.

Simple, to the point, says it all-

Gays aren't part of the dreaded abortion league, nor do they belong to over-breeders anonymous, eh?

It's a noun used in a context similar to "BUTTER FACE".

Strong large women (think 'collegiate softball player') who would be good stock for having a child with... but may not be so easy on the eyes.
ie: "She's a breeder!"

(I'm totally kidding)

Though I bet he's pretty aggravated with us at the moment.

Best reply ever.

In his book and in interviews, when asked that question, he routinely drags out one professor at Occidental, when he was an undergraduate. Which indicates to me that none of his more recent Chicago social circle are openly gay. Intimacy breeds empathy, and I think that's what is really lacking here. He understands us cerebrally, but not in his gut.

While I had high hopes for him, I cannot account for President Obama's recent tone-deafness. He should know how his administration looks. He does not seem to.

I still am not sure who is at fault at this point. Are Obama and the people around him truly this clueless, or were they listening to the Solmoneses of the world, thinking, "Well, let's toss this bone and make them happy."

I somehow don't think the President and his administration went this wrong entirely all on their own. I think the HRC, NGLTF and others were similarly clueless and whispered bad advice in his ear.

No one this off, this dead, this plain dumb about LGBT issues could've gotten there entirely on their own.

Homobigoted fuckwad if i'm really steamed.

I actually used that one at work once, after a regular customer said something beyond the pale to another of my regulars. The homobigoted fuckwad quickly apologized not only to me, but to the young man he's been an ass to.

sometimes "wing nut"

A-hole works for me :)

:shrug:

Now that's GOOD! Luvit

eom/

bigoted fuck wits! Simply because they are bigoted and they are fuck wits!

Just as this place is descending into phobias and heterosupremacism. So Happy to see your post

TYY

...I call 'em whatever I think will piss 'em off the most.

It's called fightin' words.

:shrug:

"I'm sorry. You're right. Bigot is an ugly word to use. I'll tell you what. You give me a more polite word to describe someone who believes that other human beings don't deserve the same rights as them, and I'll stop calling you a bigot. Until then, I'll use the word 'bigot' to describe you, as it's the only word even YOU know that can describe you."



bigot
One entry found.

Main Entry:
big·ot Listen to the pronunciation of bigot
Pronunciation:
\ˈbi-gət\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
French, hypocrite, bigot
Date:
1660

: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices ; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance

More
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bigot

to remove them from your presence.

That person has cut himself off from some really good people including, probably, members of his or her own family.

They are either ignorant, or hateful

they know who they are though.

idiot
moron
bigot
hatemonger
and so on.