Mark Morford: Real homophobes don't Google

Behold, dear homophobe, the upwards of 70 major U.S. companies who have just signed an amicus brief -- basically a formal f-you complaint to the federal government and its odious Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) -- saying the damn thing is bad for business, forces discrimination and inequality in company practices, was written by/for angry encephalitic right-wing thugs who don't know their God from a hole in the seminary wall. I might be making up that last part. But only barely.

Which companies are protesting DOMA, you ask? Starbucks. Google. Microsoft. Levi's. Nike. Time Warner Cable. Aetna. New Balance. Xerox. The list is impressive indeed, especially given how it's more or less an addendum to a much longer list, one that includes all the other enormous U.S. companies who already openly support gay rights, like Apple and Disney and Pixar, like Hershey and Coca-Cola and Dell, American Express and Mattel and even big media daddies like Time Warner, Inc. and Viacom. Et al.

Are you not furious, righteous Republican homophobe? I bet you are. I bet you're dialing your angriest, most confused buds right this moment to write letters, post barely punctuated rants to the hate forums on Free Republic, call in to Rush to demand a Tea Party-wide boycott of every single one of these sicko companies.

I mean, you can't really call yourself a true American, a real Christian and still openly wear Nikes or Levi's, use Microsoft or Google, or watch Warner Brothers movies, can you? If you really walk your anti-gay talk, well, every one of these companies should be banned from your life, right?