Can you feel it?

Something's buoyed my spirit lately (aside from the overwhelming kick in the ass my beloved Golden State just delivered to Der Gropenfuehrer). I wonder if you can feel it too?

I came out during what was truly the best of times and the worst of times for LGBT Americans: the late 1970s. It was the worst of times in that it was the Anita Bryant era... And my friends and I knew who the Moral Majority was long before most of mainstream America had ever heard of that particular hate group.

It was the best of times because it was the worst of times. The full-frontal assault of persecution, which had been triggered by Stonewall less than a decade before, was in full swing -- and it galvanized us. We were vocal, and in-your-face, and we didn't whimper when we were kicked out of restaurants for holding our lovers' hands -- we raised hell about it.

Sometimes I think my attitude was the result of my youth (I was still a teenager), but then I remember there were plenty of 30- and 40-year-olds in my circle of friends who were "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore." (The over-40s were few and far between; the vice raids of the 1950s were still too fresh in their minds, and they were content merely not to be arrested for being gay.)

It all seemed to be coming to a head in those days, and then...

And then we got complacent. We had made a few humble gains, and, I guess, as long as nobody could legally lock us up, give us lobotomies, fire us from our jobs, or kick us out of our homes, we were content, too. When you don't know the difference between what you have and what you could have, you may not set your sights high enough.

It's been nearly 30 years since I told someone (I didn't have to tell) that I was gay. I'm in my mid-40s now -- I'm one of the 40-somethings who -- to my shock -- is considered by younger LGBT people as one of the elders of the tribe, having experienced the first sweet taste of the post-Stonewall era.

Some "elder" -- I publicly apologized, for myself and for my generation, to a group of gay high school students last year for failing to keep up the momentum of those heady days of the late 1970s.

There's no excuse for letting that momentum wane, although there is a reason: Just as I can become extremely disheartened by the general apathy among American voters, I became very disillusioned over the next couple of decades by the apathy of gay and lesbian people younger than myself. They took what freedom they had for granted; that things had ever been different was as inconceivable to them just as it had been (and to some degree, still is) inconceivable to me that a person could be thrown in jail just for being gay (as opposed to being "caught in the act").

Again, that's no excuse; no one has a right to blame anyone else for failing to rally. But it is a reason. I was frustrated; how could these kids not appreciate about their own cultural heritage? How could they be so brazen as to actually roll their eyes at me when I expressed shock at their ignorance about Harry Hay, or the Daughters of Bilitis? I felt there was no one to carry on the legacy.

Oh, there were exceptions: Angry gay Gen-Xers formed such groups as ACT/UP and Queer Nation. But such groups were a foreign breed to many of us; they were on the the fringe of gay society, their activities far removed from our candlelight vigils and Take Back the Night marches. We didn't know what to do with them, and many of us wished they would shut up and go away -- not in order to preserve the status quo, but because they made us "look bad." After all, it was an ACT/UP sit-in (or two) in a church that provoked some crackpot fundy (I think it was Falwell) to claim that gays were storming churches and "throwing AIDS-tainted blood" in the faces of ministers. (Which they weren't, of course.)

(We didn't have much use for the Lesbian Mafia either -- an older, more established group, but just as shocking at the time as ACT/UP was later -- mainly because they kept insisting that feminism was lesbianism.)

What a cop-out. We were no better than the LGBTs who wish drag queens would stop being so "flamboyant," because that's not the image they want the general public to see... when it was a bunch of screaming drag queens who made Stonewall happen in the first place!

And this is the way we thank them?

Today, I think ACT/UP and QN may have just been ahead of their time.

Today, I am experiencing deja vu. Today, it feels a like 1977 all over again. Lawrence v. Texas aside (and who knows how long that will last?), we've had our asses kicked three ways this side of hell, most severely in 2004, with the sweeping anti-gay measures passed in 11 states. (The only thing that surprises me about yesterday's hateful marriage ban in Texas is that it didn't happen sooner.) Before that, it was Proposition 22 in California... the adoption ban in Florida... the ban on all legally-binding contracts in Virginia... and of course, we're still staring down the barrel of the FMA. I won't go into all the ways they've tried to legislate us out of existence -- that would take a book -- and anyway, I don't need to educate most people who've read this far.

And when we they can't get to us through elections or the courts, they make it personal. Matt, Gwen, Sakia, Rashawn, Octavia, Scotty, Billy Jack, Richie, Wanda, Fannyann, Gary & Win... You know the names.

It's enough to make a person give up, crawl into a hole, and just hope they don't find you.

But that's not what's happening. What's happening is that I'm feeling a "mad as hell" undercurrent brewing, the likes of which I haven't felt in more than a quarter-century.

Did I say "undercurrent"? I should have said "riptide."

I haven't read DU religiously lately (life sometimes gets in the way), but when I finally dug deep into all the posts I'd missed here in the GLBT forum, my deja vu was triggered again.

The groundswell is evident here, too:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x19574

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x19629

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x19666

I've lived my philosphy of nonviolence all my life, and I'm not advocating violence now (or ever).

But this anger I see coming out here (regardless of what I agree with, or not) stirs something in me I haven't felt in decades. It's a combination of excitement, hope, and fear about the consequences.

What can we make of the revival of the anti-gay climate in this country? Was it spurred by our inistence to be treated like human beings, or is our renewed demand for equality spurred by the political seduction of the Radical Religious Right?

Or does it matter?

The bottom line is, it's coming to a head again -- but I believe this wave dwarfs anything I saw in the '70s. It's here, whether we want it or not. We are cornered. And what does any animal do when cornered?

I have a feeling we're mad as hell again -- and some of us are not going to take it anymore.

This far, no farther. Recommended

But this was the first thing I seriously wanted to recommend. You're saying something I've been feeling and smelling among my tiny queer family for a long time. I'm sick and tired of having to beg for their mercy just to EXIST. Welcome to reality, bigots--there's all sorts of things that exist that I'm not particularly fond of, but I don't seek to exterminate them.

If the Stonewall Riots were the birth of the modern gay rights movements, we may be living in the time where we see the movement pass from rowdy adolesence and complacent early adulthood to full-fledge maturity.

Our anger in our adolesence was pretty much the "fuck you" type of anger and we directed it at Reagan and the drug companies and Anita Bryant. But now it is something more. Now I hear more and more of us standing up and saying "This will not do! This will not be tolerated!"

I believe we are living on the cusp of a new era ... an era that blends the anger of our adolesence as a movement with the experience, maturity and a hunger to see justice done in our lifetimes.

than conservaties wanting to pass laws that will have absolutely no effect on them. They choose to pass such laws because they hate other human beings based on their religious "beliefs" and want to pick and choose who will be protected by our constitution. That sincerely and severely pisses this veteran off. In the 70's, 80's and 90's they hated homosexuals because of their alleged hedonistic lifestyle. Then homosexuals said hey we want to get married and settle down. What did the consistent hate mongers do then? They found another reason to hate homosexuals. I have been taking on the bigots who choose to corner animals and I have no intention of letting up now.

I DIDN'T SPEND 24 YEARS IN UNIFORM SUPPORTING AND DEFENDING THE BIBLE!

I think they hide behind that. Basically, they pass laws just because they hate people who are different then they are. What used to be Jim Crow is the current idea of "family values." It's a way of segregating and dividing a society. It's pure hate and bigotry is all it is. Scared of people who are different. It doesn't matter if it's the color of your skin or the person that you love, some people will find a way to hate. The bible -which I love and read- is just an excuse they have found to help them fall asleep at night. Jesus would not hate, nor would he even tolerate gays and lesbians. He'd embrace them. Wholeheartedly. These people choose to find excuses to validate their narrow little hatreds. If they couldn't find some passage in the bible then they'd find something else.

If it doesn't affect you or the overall public interest, get out of my face. My group is much smaller and we don't have many debates about nature vs nurture because we really did choose our radical? lifestyle. But we, the polyamorists, have your back and hope that when Santorum et al comes after us, that we can count on you guys too.

That was great. Truly. I'm humbled by your passion.

There is one issue that I struggle with. I am straight, I have had gay friends and so on. I am in favor of allowing gays and lesbians to marry. However, I am moving back to my home state - a Red State- MT, which shot down gay marriage last year. Nearly everybody I know back home is homophobic, I always have been to an extent. But, once you get older and you meet people who are different and so on you can appreciate who they are and why they love etc. What I struggle with is I plan on running for office. State Senate. And, I really want to fight for among many things, the rights of gay and lesbian people. Yet, if I do, I probably would get beat in an election and never have that chance to help make a difference. So what I'm hoping to do is to get elected without saying much if anything on the topic and go about making reforms in a slow and steady manner, or at least addressing the issue publicly. I don't know, I wrestle with that. I feel that if I don't get up and fight then I'm cheating myself and selling out for what I believe in, yet if I do, I may never hold an office.

I think if I can get elected, I can start working on those issues. And, if I can keep fighting and doing enough good on all fronts then maybe I can get reelected, despite living in a state where my views on gay and lesbian issues are a liability. But, damn, that's really a shitty position to be in. That's what is wrong about America today. Too much bigotry and homophobia. I mean it's actually politically favorable to be a homophobic chauvinist nowadays. That's what family values are. A code phrase to be anti-gay and anti-women's rights. That's supposed to be a good thing? It makes me ashamed. We have lots of work ahead of us. That's for sure. Thanks for posting this.

May I offer some advice?

Where in the Constitution does it say Gays can't marry? Is that why insane religious (and i do believe it is religious based) zealots have to "amend" the constitution?

Did Montana veterans die so others could deny constitutional liberties from segments of American Society they choose not to embrace?

You should run on a platform that would ensure constitutional liberties for all Montanans even those who hate.

The sanctity of marriage? How many Montanans have gotten divorced because of homosexuality? And is the current divorce rate in Montana due to homosexuals? If not, are heterosexuals doing a piss poor job of maintaining said sanctity. Maybe straight, married Montanans ought to clean up their own house before trying to destroy someone elses home before it is even built.

Keeping people who love each other from getting married has nothing to do with morality or the sanctity of marriage.

Run, and if you lose, you will have lost as a champion. Nothing is more important than the sanctity of the constitution. Good Luck!

Let me know if you run, this vet will toss you a few bucks.

yes, the constitutional liberties part of the debate is the way to go. No doubt. I like how you phrased all of that.

I'm mainly a writer, I just feel like I can't stand by and let people ruin our country, you know? I hate the idea of being a politician. It seems so seedy to me. Whoring yourself out for money etc. Not all are like that of course, but too many are. However, my district that I plan on moving too is small, and I feel that I can get a lot accomplished. I would rather fight for what I believe in and go down swinging than to not try at all. I think I just have become sick of voting for the people who just happen to suck less than the other guy who sucks really bad. I'll let everybody know when I get everything filed and I announce.

I was overwhelmed by something as I read your post. I'm not sure how to say it with any kind of eloquence. So forgive me if this comes across as simpleminded.

First, I should say that having lived uder the laws of the drug war, I have experienced, to a degree, similar misfortune at the hands of America.

And when I put these together, I realize that this isn't about being gay. This isn't about drug use. Of course, drug use has extenuating arguments that make it seem legitimate. But ignoring details, let's look at the general sentiment. There is interference into one's private life, by the politics. And who are the victims? Where are the victims?

This is about America. Does that make sense? Do you know what I mean? This is about Americans who are willing to sell their own rights. Americans who can't see. Who don't want to see. It's about being aware of each other. Or not being aware. Or not wanting to care.

Expression of freedom. The liberty to be who we are or who we want to be. The lack of opposition. It is this function of American society that makes the dream.

I've lost it. My mind has stopped. Maybe this was just a worthless post. Freedom versus opposition to that freedom.

in order to be protected by something that may not even exist. People are so afraid of a nonexistent monolith like the "Homosexual Agenda" that they will open the door to destroying civil liberties to stop it. They also would rather vote to a resolute politician who is wrong than a nuanced one who is right. That's why simplistic "solutions" work. That's why being anti-women's rights is called "pro-life." And, finally it is what you said. Awareness. Americans are not aware of each other. Why not be "pro-life" if you are a middle-class white male who has no awareness of a woman's struggles? Why not be for "family values" and against gay and lesbian rights, if you are not gay or lesbian yourself and have no awareness of who they are? Why try to see when you don't even realize you're blind? It's a major problem, for sure.

I think people vote using fear, like you said. Fear is the big one. Fear that they would not want to be gay. Or have an abortion. Or do drugs. And it's sick how selfish and shortsighted it it. As though they had the power to keep others from doing something wrong. They did it with helmets and seatbelts. I mean, if they were really to be honest, they'd certainly have to outlaw cigarettes, at the very least.

It's not their right to restrict other's rights.

yeah, I agree 110 percent.

also about human weakness...
When we have us and them and "them" are something less then us, then by pushing them down "us" feels raised up. Someone to be better then. Blacks were much easier because you can see skin color. That still goes on at many levels but the laws stop the prejudice from being made into laws.

We had many "blacks are less then white laws" and we don't get to have those anymore. People might still feel it but they don't get to decree it anymore.

Now we have gays and lesbians. Can't make them have their own bathrooms or schools, but we can stop them from marrying and adopting children. Oh but it's not bias of course. They are just sinners endangering marriage and society. That's all. Because the old testament says they are bad. (Just gay men, not lesbians, guess they don't want to be sexist though and so scorn them all) How cool, you not only get to be better then someone but you can make laws against them AND do it in god's name. Not only better then another group, but holy.

Because they feel small. Because they have hate in themselves they need to project on someone.

I am thinking of old Kristofferson lyrics (from Jesus was a Capricorn) Maybe they say what I'm trying to say...only now we are putting that tendency to law, duplicate laws at that.

Eggheads cussing rednecks cussing
Hippies for their hair
Others laugh at straights who laugh at
Freaks who laugh at squares
Some folks hate the Whites
Who hate the Blacks who hate the Klan
Most of us hate anything that
We don't understand

'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Who they can feel better than at any time they please
Someone doin' somethin' dirty decent folks can frown on
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me

like the lyrics too.

I always thought I could retire, but It looks like no. Forget Texas, remember Maine.

I am emailing this out to my friends. Although I am straight, all of the people that I love are GLBT and I will be loud and proud along side you, friend. I feel it too. The tide is turning.

I haven't told you this lately, but I am just so proud of you. :)

I don't feel it, unfortunately. Most likely because I am not there. And because my country has gone to hell in a handbasket. But then, I think we are living through your 70's right now. Our stonewall didn't happen of course until the 80's.

But it is nice to see YOU energized about this. This is the first time since you and I began dating that I have actually seen you energized. :)

Karma is at work in massive ways and the change we've been working for is coming in full force.

These are the most interesting of days.

And I agree with the statement that it doesn't make sense for people to restrict the rights of other people, especially since they have no idea what we are going through!

It is hard not to be fed up. I have decided that in a few years I will give my principal a choice of having a teacher who is openly gay with the faculty or replacing me. I have the ability to move to a more friendly district if need be and will do so in a heartbeat.

But people's outrage quickly faded into ambivalence.

Thanks for all the feedback (and votes)! I'll reply in the next 24 hours or so -- I'm getting on a plane (ugh! flying!) to NYC (yay! liberals!) in an hour.

I'll be looking forward to diving back into the discussion. In the meantime, I'm glad to know most of you feel something the air, too. :)

Where I am we fought tooth & nail for same sex marriage

and we WON!!

...we need a few things.

First, we need a leader, someone who is strong, passionate, forceful, and charismatic. Someone we can organize and be our public face. We need a Martin Luther King Jr. or a Malcolm X.

Second, we need a catalyst. There is a lot of anger in the community, but it isn't focused at any one thing in particular. I am reminded of a boiling pot of water. It is boiling but it isn't bubbling over the top yet.

I think, that if there was a major hate crime against gays (another Matthew Shepard, for instance) you'd see it explode and an inevitable leader emerge. It's going to take something huge, something tragic, something that touches both gays and those outside of the gay community, in order to see REAL action.

Also, I don't think it is so much apathy on a person by person basis but a sense of "settlement" among gay leaders. Those down in the trenches are looking for some tough talking, in your face action, while GLAAD, HRC, etc etc etc are content with rubbing elbows with politicians in Washington. We saw the reluctance of the HRC to stand up for gay marriage.

...and I have to be personally honest with myself. I have become somewhat apathetic as well. Not because I don't care, but from the sense of being overwhelmed and out numbered. Even though I know that we will inevitably win the fight, even if not in our life times, but eventually, it just seems futile to keep struggling. Look at what happened in Maine. We won, and even as we won they are coming at us with another attack - one that will likely pass. No matter what we do, it just seems there is always some new threat coming at us from another direction. Every time we put out one fire, it seems two more start.

People are becoming un-easy by all the fundie propaganda. This 'mad as Hell' feeling has been simmering for at least twelve years, years when the GLBT communities were settling for second best. We wanted Gays in the military? We settled for 'Don't ask, Don't tell'! We wanted equal rights on the job and settled just to be tolerated. Back in 1993, here in Seattle, Queer Nation protested Lon Mabon's little of talk of hate at one of the local churches. There were lots of other groups that had joined us to cry out against this man coming from Oregon to organize initiatives to outlaw our rights. We all stood in the pouring rain yelling "Civil Rights or Civil War"! The Devil crawled back to Oregon with his tail between his legs and never did get another foothold in Washington state. Within a year and a half, things quieted down and we all became complacent, celebrating our 'victories', victories like settling for domestic partnership instead of marriage. Queer Nation dissolved. Something strange began to become more vocal.... Gay Republicans!

I don't think we need to have a single leader. Everyone needs to feel the weight of chairing a meeting, organizing a protest or other action, learning to fund raise. We need many leaders, all acting locally while looking at the bigger picture. Seeing how so many state legislatures are passing laws against Gay marriage presents for all to see the dangers of settling for second best.

Does it not help to see Canada quietly pushing forward with recognition of the value of GLBTs through anti-hate laws and same-sex marriage?

It was decriminalized in 1970 in Canada; the US Supreme Court did not follow suit until 2002. Don't forget the similar pattern of the US lagging behind Canada in race relations for decades as well.

If equal marriage was recognized by the US federal government by 2036, I'd be very surprised.

...it seems to me the Supreme Court wasn't called upon to rule on equal marriage rights since the Charter of Rights and Freedoms was written. Even to this day there hasn't been a real case taken to the SC.

Did I miss something?

Notable how no one was calling for constitutional amendments in Canada.

With the Notwithstanding clause, a constitutional amendment wasn't required. And there was lots of talk about the 'wisdom' of using the NC. Since the Federal Tories haven't held power since the provincial courts have ruled, this hasn't been tested to see what legal weight it might carry (though to try and annul so many marriages now would tie up the courts for years).