Life after Gwen (by mother of slain transgender teenager)

I am not sure how I expected to feel at this point. When my daughter Gwen, a transgender teenager, was brutally murdered on Oct. 4, 2002, I was sure that I would never feel whole again. Looking back, I didn't yet know exactly what "transgender" meant or how to fully embrace my child's identity. But I knew one thing: I wanted justice for my child.

I thought that maybe I'd feel better on the day when the four suspects in her murder were brought to justice. More than three years and three months since Gwen's murder that day is finally here. On Friday, these men are being sentenced to prison terms for their actions, two of them convicted of second-degree murder and two taking plea bargains for voluntary manslaughter. I guess I hoped that once we got to the sentencing date, the pain would end and I could get back to my life. But it hasn't and I can't.

No amount of justice can return the part of me that these men took when they killed Gwen. The closure that people keep talking about hasn't come. It would be so much easier to write that it had. After all, that is what most people want to read: The system worked; my family is whole; the story is over. It would be comforting and allow us to get on with our lives. Of the many things I'm feeling, closure isn't one of them.

I'm angry. Angry that Gwen's brothers and her nieces and nephews won't get to grow up knowing her the way her aunts, uncles, older sister and I did. Angry that instead of celebrating her birthday, we get together each year to commemorate her death. Angry that, in both trials, the defendants tried to blame Gwen for her own murder. Angry that other young lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender kids continue to face the discrimination she did in our public schools and our workforce.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2006/01/26/EDGNSGSK5O1.DTL

I am an adamant GLTB ally, and it is stories like this that break my heart. I am sorry for your loss. It is sad to say that many people think and feel like the murderous bastards do. I don't care what it takes, but one of my life goals is to try to educate ignorance, and end this type of hatred. It casts a vile shadow over all of America to hear things such as this. Words cannot express my feelings on this issue, but it is of utmost importance to me, and I swear to you that as long as I have a breath left in me, I will try as hard as I can to prevent hate such as this. Once again let me express my condolences. Good luck, and God bless.

...I am so sorry.