ER, (yes, the TV show), really got to me last night.

The episode with the elderly gay couple and the sick guy's family really got to me. As a heterosexual female, and I like to think, a compassionate and open minded one, I have known peripherally about the struggle that the GLBT community faces when their loved one is sick and there is no paperwork discerning the caregiver.

I had a friend whose family refused to allow her to see her dying partner and then contested the life insurance money and it was absolutely horrible to watch. This was in the 80's, and I guess I was busy with my own family and didn't realize how much things haven't changed.

In June, my husband had to have a quadruple bypass. During the two days leading up to the procedure, family and friends came to see him/us and he was pretty doped up due to a special pump that they had inserted to help his heart prior to the operation.

I cannot imagine being cut off from the man I love during such a stressful and upsetting time. I can't imagine my love for him being discarded and dismissed in the manner I watched last night.

For this 'revelation', I want to tell you all that I am sorry I dropped the ball for so long. I pledge to work harder for gay rights here, where I live as well as nationally. I am going to make phone calls this weekend to challenge people NOT to vote for the ridiculous marriage amendment act that the assholes here have placed on the ballot.

Until we are all equal, Peace.

they have nothing to gain from it. Shockingly beautiful, really. Makes my day!

Of course we have something to gain by standing with our gay brothers and sisters. First of all, many of us have people who are very dear to us who are denied rights simply because they are gay. Count me in as another hetero who's been working for gay rights for years, alongside my gay and lesbian friends and family members. It's an investment in my community, and I'm proud to live in a state where so many people feel as I do. (Vermont)

I am so appreciative of my straight friends who have taken up the fight alongside us! There are a lot more of you that there are of us, so we need you! Oh, and by the way, I love Vermont! Was there earlier this summer with my partner, who had never been there before. It's a queer's paradise!

There are only two reasons to support full and complete rights and opportunities for the GLBT community:

1. It is the right thing and the most noble thing to do in the interest of the GLBT community; and

2. It is the right thing and the most noble thing to do in the interest of everyone else.

None of us can fight every battle. We only have so many hours in the day. For me, gaining full and complete rights and opportunities for the GLBT community is very high on the list. Partly, it's a personal and selfish thing - my brother and son are both gay men of whom I am enormously proud and I can't stand seeing them hurt. Partly, it's altruistic - homophobia is just plain WRONG.

And, as you say, it's an investment in the community. Volumes of research and any shred of common sense say that stable family lives contribute to a stable society. To deny our gay brothers and sisters the right to form families - with all the attendant benefits and responsibilities - is not only just plain WRONG, it is bad for society as a whole.

the actor who played the cross-dressing partner (who played Dad on Frasier) was very effective--should get an Emmy nod..

I am also glad they played Stamos as sympathetic and understanding... His character, could have easily been stereotyped the other way...

when you think how long he's been in the Hollywood mill...

And to the original poster...You are the true compassionate conservative. Pro-family.

I hadn't seen him since Frasier and I was startled at how thin and drawn & frail he looked. He's 66 years old, and nowadays, people in their 60's usually look better than that. - my thought was that he really does have some health problem. His partner who was dying looked a lot healthier than he did. He's based in the Chicago area and is an ensemble partner with the Steppenwolf Theatre. In any case, his performance was excellent and I join you in hoping he is nominated for an Emmy for it.

for everybody to have a power of attorney for healthcare, especially on record at the hospital or hospitals to which they would be treated. It is important to everybody whether they are gay or straight, single or a couple. This would have eliminated much of the problems in the ER episode, but also much of the drama. With a POA for healthcare you have the person who is your choice to make healthcare decisions for you when you are no longer able to do so. These are not difficult to set up and you can also specify the extent of measures that would be taken to save or extend your life.

Same sex partners have to depend on kindness and cobbled-together laws and legal formalities to get the same rights that different-sex couples take for granted. I've heard many horror stories of the surviving partner being evicted, left out of funeral arrangements, quickly dumped out of the family. I recall one instance when after a man's partner died, and while he will still in shock from grieving, the family came in and essentially looted the house. Since the property was not in his name and there was no will, he had no legal recourse.

PS: Watch John Mahoney in "The Broken Heart's Club." He's also great in that too, another gay role.