I have waited a long time..my wish is coming true!!

Tomorrow mom and I are going to get funds for my male chest reconstruction and send it to the doctor.. I am so blown away.. possibly this april the breasts that have tormented me since I was 10-11 will be gone FOREVER!!!. :nuke: :nuke:

I will pass as a guy because I already do pass pretty often if my coat disguises my chest well enough. I have an army jacket that I covered with a tigers face with stripes blending into tribals,and it hides my chest pretty well because it's over-sized. But in the summer I am shit outta luck and I was dreading summer really bad this year..Because of my spine problems I cannot bind anymore , like I got by with last summer, wearing a leather biker vest over my big teeshirts covered it most of the time. It's good my back doc said I need to get these boobs reduced,my therapist agrees I need this operation, so it's gonna happen and I couldn't be more psyched .

Mom and I have talked about my gender issues for my whole life.
My roommate mike remembered me telling him I wasn't a girl in middle school. He said he knew I wasn't a girl when he met me in second grade..Mom knows how I feel she has seen my frustration and despair,ever since I developed. She still has her fears about the physical risk that goes with every operation, and all.. but she has decided to help me.

I am so excited about this whole process I can't friggin sleep. I am so glad, I am looking forward to after the scars heal up and the way it will be, as it should have been. I won't ever have to bind again, I won't feel awkward and uncomfortable all the time.I won't be pounding my boobs out of frustration because of the conflict over my gender. I can be more at peace inside with my outside matching up better.. Getting a hysterectomy several years ago profoundly effected my sanity in a good way.I felt a calmness after that operation, that has not left me, even on bad days the intensity of my anger and frustration with being in this body has not gotten as bad as when I had a uterus.I have no regrets.. the male chest reconstruction will help alot, I think it will help me feel even more at peace with my outside inside.

All I can say it RrrrAwwwRRRArr!! Yessssss!!!!
:woohoo:
Here to Stay


when innocent and just a small child
without question you knew who you were
by intolerance you were not yet defiled
and proclaimed to be son, or a daughter

then after you passed the "cute" stage
did you learn of the rules and your role
that's when they told you, "at your age
you know not what's real in your soul"

through the years they continued to rail
"wear that!" and "you can't play with this"
and of your real self you could not avail
you were admonished if ever remiss

their teachings made you question yourself
you began to believe this would end
your feelings you put on some dark shelf
to the role of your birth sex you'd tend

but the person that lived in your body
and directed your heart, soul and mind
would never really relent and agree
and was determined to not be maligned

whether you hide or fight or deny
and despite your best efforts to obey
no matter how many tears you may cry
only the real you is here to stay


Michael Uno 2

http://www.lauras-playground.com/tgpoetry_mu2

:hug:

And kudos to you for being true to yourself in a world that does not make that an easy thing.

You've earned this moment. :)

:hug:

How wonderful to have a dream fulfilled! Here's wishing you a swift recovery from surgery, and a life of happiness afterwards! Mazel tov!

What does Mazel Tov mean?

And yes after I recover my devious friends have warned me they are having a bra burning party/cookout to celebrate.
My roommate thought up getting boob cake, we'll cut it up.. funny idea! Don't have a clue what it will look like let alone what crazy message they might put on it..All those jokes about the kinkos paper cutter.. sheesh..
I asked that my male to female friends can pick out whatever bras they like, the rest are going into a pyre.It's gonna be silly and fun. And I can grill a steak so perfect it'll make you cry.

And I second, or fifth, the sentiment!

:)

"good luck/fortune" in Hebrew and has been incorporated into Yiddish, and is now used in English as well.Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find the happiness you so deserve! :pals:

Hebrew for "Good Luck, Good Fortune."

And if you can REALLY grill a steak so perfect it will make me cry, I'm on my way! (VERY, VERY, VERY rare, please ...) You supply the cryin' towel, I PROMISE to supply the appetite.

Seriously, I am SO happy for you. As I said before, your joy is contagious -- reading your thread made me feel -- well, WONDERFULLY happy!

I like my steaks really rare too.

What my secret is .. is I get the coals really really hot, insane hot.I basically turn the grill into a kiln.

Than I get good steak, I look for thick cut ones.

I grill one steak at a time.
Right before I put the steak on I give the hot coals a bit of flame fuel as in lighter fluid soaked kindling, to cause flames but not so much kindling that it burns for a long time.It's to sear the surfaces not cook the steak... I Count to 20, flames englufing the steak, as I flip it, 20 again..flip it for another 20 count, the flames should have stopped,and the coals just cranking heat.. and if I need to I repeat 20 counts and flipping it until the steak surface is lightly blackened and it is seared shut on the outside surface trapping the juices inside I watch it closely for when it begins to subtlely "swell" on the sides of the steak. Poke your steak often with your index finger..If it bulges too much on the sides without a poke that is a sign it is obvious you have overcooked it.It is ready if you poke it with a regular table fork about 1/4 the way in and red juice comes flowing out and another way to tell is if you press it and it is hot on the surface but as your finger stays on the steak it feels warm if you press longer than say 10 seconds,and the best way to tell is if it feels just like when you press your finger on the fleshy part of your hand when it is totally relaxed. Than, it is DONE, yank it off the grill and eat it pronto.
Cook a steak this way I bet you'll make yourself cry.

can only be peace of mind now. Take care. I am glad your outside finally matches your inside. :)

for happiness and peace

My SO is hoping to some day afford a hysterectomy. Binding is really difficult. He uses a binder. I don't know how he would use it without help putting it on and taking it off.

Best wishes to you and your Mom (for being so great!)

Most of us, gay or straight, take for granted that our "inside" gender matches our "outside" gender, myself included. I'm glad to hear that you'll soon be joining us. I'm sure this road has been a long and difficult one for you, and I'm glad that it's finally coming to an end. I hope that you have a safe surgery and a speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing your news, and best of luck and peace to you always.

And I agree with a poster upthread, your joy is contagious! I'm very happy and excited for you! :pals:

:)

I hope you things go great and you are up and about with your new body quickly.

best of luck.

:loveya:

All the best!

:hi: :hug:

I wish you a quick recovery. Come back and tell us how it goes.

Good luck! :hi:

I hope it all goes very well. Please post or PM some updates. :hi:

posts in the future Thomcat, Purrs to you catfreind!

I hope all goes well.

:toast:

I am very happy for you! :)