Have you ever been physically bashed for being gay or lesbian?

I am going to be leading a discussion at my church following the Laramie Project and am trying to get some statistics before I figure out what direction to take the discussion in. Please read all answers before answering. Please note that physical bashing should be restricted to your being an adult or at least attacked outside a school setting. Normal kid type stuff shouldn't count.

On edit, thanks for your help.

O.k., I can give you ALL KINDS of trouble with that phrase, but I understand what you are trying to get at, restricting your poll to adult behavior, and I don't want to mess with your poll, so I'll shut up. :)

and bullying from adult style physical attacks. I know that I am leaving some things out we would want to include but I don't know how to define it better.

You said it best. :hug: I can see the intent of the poll though too.

as well as knowing some who have been bashed.

IME when I have defended them, the agressor gets much more venemous with me vice the person he was harrasing. I attribute it to the traitor vice enemy effect. I try to use humor to defuse the situation, which is not always successful. One of the joys of being my size with my background, is that if it does get physical, I don't lose.

Just a word of advice, don't forget weapons neutralize size. Be careful out there.

and it has gotten me into trouble upon occasion. Still I would rather stick up for someone that watch impotently from the sideline. In all fairness I have also backed down a couple PETA wackos who were harrassing a little old lady with a fur collared coat some years back. If I have a special cause, its civility as well as just leaving the other person alone.

As for weapons, that caution goes both ways and weapons are not always obvious. Best story I have in that regard was in bar. Loudmouth was really getting noxious and we decided to leave. He got in my GFs face about how we were a mixed race couple and that was just wrong. He then pushed her aside to confront me. I had my hands clasped in front of me, almost like praying. He made some comment about how I should be praying because he was going to kick my ass. After he said that I popped my hands open towards him, filling his face with the dust and small parts of a handfull of bar munchies I had crushed between them. Chili arare dust is almost as good as pepper spray. We left while he wailed.

Still crooked to this day - he was too embarassed to go to the hospital.

I went to the hospital in my case but refused to go public. I was too ashamed as well.

were walking down the street in downtown Spokane Wa. one night in 1977. Had a pitch fork tossed at us that stuck in my arm. It was tossed by a bunch of drunk punks riding in the back of a pick up. They sped off calling us queers and buttfuckers. I went to the hospital.

A pitchfork? I am glad you are OK but that must have been scary.

in college where some good ole local college boys were going to show us 'lesbos' (my friends who were lesbian and me) a thing or two (presumably what manly men they were) in what was our own college's bar. Punches were thrown and there was lots of pushing.

We won and the cowards ran away... threatening us with rape and worse some night when we would be crossing the college grounds as they ran. Our college dean (female) called us in the next day to reprimand us for not behaving as 'ladies' despite the fact we were attacked first in our own college bar.

Hmmmm. Apparently I am still pissed.

Never physically bashed, or mentally bashed either if you discount what I look back on as fairly low level name calling in middle school. It's always been pretty obvious which team I play for. I donno, guess people just got used to me and decided there wasn't much fun in calling a queer a queer. :7

.... but never said it was that - even though the beating left him in the hospital with no other reason (robbery etc.)

I suspect he was too "friendly" with someone who was out to do him harm.

I HATE this crap.

Give him time he might open up to you about it but realize it is easy to feel both ashamed and at fault (if I hadn't done x or y then this wouldn't have happened)

Nor can I think of any instance where one of my friends was bashed-at least not off the top of my head.

Just lucky, I guess :shrug:

... it was way out of control in the East Village (NYC) in the 1970s.


So much for stereotypes.

any circumstances. So if a gay or lesbian person was attacked I can understand mixed-up feelings of guilt etc. Should be more support especially in smaller towns.

They called me dyke and I didn't know what a dyke was.I was harassed by bullies alot.
I was bashed and called "it" in middle and high school. I got bloody noses, gut punches as someone else held my arms, I was beaten by several guys a few times got fat lip black eye.I got pushed down stairs..it was pretty bad.
Because I was transgender, and was not aware I was trans yet,I was bending gender and not doing the typical things girls do and the bullies noticed and gave me hell physically and emotionally. I was so clueless back than and blamed myself.I tried to be like the other girls but I felt awkward feathering my hair and dressing that way. It was horrible..

Today I am aware of what I am but it does not diminish the hurt and anger.Also I have been called to the principals office for not being a "lady, and for being pagan,both. When I was 25 I passed by some fundies on the sidewalk , I don't know if the fundie Christians chased me because they saw my Transgenderness or if I wore a pentagram around my neck, they yelled devil dyke at me.I managed to out run them in tall grass and hide up a tree .I discovered they had the knives as they searched through the tall weeds while I sat frozen in the tree looking down at them.I'm not sure in that case if I was being chased for being pagan or transgender..But if they caught me who knows what damage these crazies would have done to me.
One of my friends a trans-woman Roxie she get rocks thrown at her, unwanted sexual comments on the bus and gets into fights with Trans-phobic assholes once in awhile.

walking down the sidewalk in boys town in Chicago. I had just left a bar, and a carload of Hispanic boys asked me for directions. I leaned in towards the passenger window, and something told me to back away... just as I did they tried to snap me with some corrugated metal wiring, like a bicycle chain lock. They called me a faggot and sped off. I just shouted fuck you, and continued to walk down the street. I later realized how lucky I was. I have always seemed to have a sense for dangerous situations.

I have know at least a half dozen people whom have been bashed enough to have to go to the hospital. One was a very close friend. I found myself angry with him, for walking by himself in an area known for gangs. I realize how wrong I was, but didn't lead on like I was angry with him, but I was.

I also know straight people who were bashed for being "faggots".

I've been threatened with physical harm several times, but I've never been physically harmed.

have lost my job once (though it was done in such a way that it couldn't be linked to my RW homophobic boss' desire to get rid of the queer. And my car has been damaged (slurs keyed into it) while at a club about 4 years ago.
Strangely, I consider myself fortunate.

I think we're all fortunate if we avoid direct violence. There's no shortage of people out there willing to beat the shit out of us if they get the chance.

I had "friends" who suddenly decided that I needed to be hurt once I came out. They just flipped from being nice to being crazy-violent. I still kick myself for not seeing that violent side of them before hand. But I was lucky that I didn't stick around.

It's a shame that people can get away with firing us and faking the reason, or vandalizing our property. And it's a shame that this is considered fortunate. But there we are.
:shrug:

Once in SF (Muni) i was set upon by high schoolers, but they backed down when they saw me zip up my jacket and get ready to rumble.I know many who have gottern their "gay knocks" ( A prehistoric term for gay bashing) My boy friend kicked the shit out of some punks picking on the local queens, when he had one down he yelled " how does it feel to get beat up by a faggot?" made my evening.

These are just the three that stand out in my mind right now. The first two were in Charlotte NC in the mid-80's... the third one was here in Morgantown WV, a few months ago.

1.) in 1984, my friend Jonathan was beaten badly by twin brother jocks on the last day of final exams. I heard shouting and screaming coming from the boys' bathroom as i was heading to clean out my locker, and ran in and found them standing over him, kicking him in the face and ribs. They shoved past me and ran off, and though Jon reported it to the administrators, nothing was done.

2.) In 1986, my friend Steve was jumped by a bunch of Nazi skinheads, and beaten up pretty badly, because they thought he was gay (he's straight, but had a very androgynous style about him). I, along with a bunch of other friends who loved Steve, get the message across to those boneheads that b.s. like that would not be tolerated, and that we weren't going to wait for the cops to sort it out, either. We shanghaied one of them one night, stripped and handcuffed him, and left his swastika-tattooed, underwear-clad, sorry ass in the center quad of a public housing project.

3.) A few months ago, a gal-pal of mine was walking downtown, and was accosted by some random guy, who started screaming 'dyke' and 'queer' at her, then, when she tried to turn and get away from him, he maced her in the face.

and haven't had problems here but did get attacked in the same time frame. While I don't condone self help I must say that was brilliant. I bet the skin head learned a thing or two about bashing.

we never had any problems with any of them again.

I had just left a bar and immediately was followed by some dentally challeneged, drunken idiot who started verbally harassing me. When I just kept walking he said something like "I'll teach you to ignore me, faggot," then jumped me from behind, with both of us tumbling to the ground.

I'm 6'5", played football and wrestled in HS and wrestled in college so I had a tad bit of an advantage. I don't know what the guy was thinking. If I was a puny, little cretin like him, I wouldn't have chosen to pick on the biggest dude walking out of the bar.The sorry little asshat never had a chance. I don't think I inflicted any serious injury, but I'm pretty sure he felt it for days afterward.

I know this sounds sick, but I felt a tremendous sense of satisfaction.

:hug:

You were defending yourself...and are allowed that satisfaction. He, I hope, got smart after that.

Great post over in GD, btw!

Serious Verbal harassment. Threats. (PM me for the full story)

Serious enough that I was scared to be alone in my own house.

Serious enough that I almost failed 2 classes- 'cause all I could think of during finals was hearing the phone ringing again and again...

:cry:

It wasn't for my roommates. It was my number posted on the web... and ....yeah. It was for me.

I get fed up with sales calls and bill collectors I would probably have gone bananas.

but I feel a little mentally bashed over some of the crap ive read in GD over the last few days... ahh hell, maybe I should take a GD vacation before I end up popping a vein...

I was 18 and had just come out of the closet so to speak. There was an annual city wide festival going on in my hometown so I was hanging out minding my own business. When I was down by the carnival, I got surrounded by about 10 people. Shouting things at me and threatening to "kill my faggot ass!" Luckily I was on the phone with my father who showed up to intervene and ensure that nobody would ever say that to me again. The following day I went to file charges and to my surprise about 15 bystanders gave statements and when the incident was occuring a few even called 911. After I filed the initial complaint thats when things really got crazy. People would try to break into my house and I got threatened to drop the charges. Well after a few weeks of this and finding out I would be the first hate crime case in the county, I decided to drop the charges. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, but since then I haven't been bothered by any one.