My introduction...

I posted this in GD last night and thought I'd post it here today -- hopefully I'll come across people who can understand the struggles I'm going through...
I've been registered here since August and lurked here for months before that. I donated to DU almost immediately upon registering. I still don't have many posts between August and now but I've read a lot and consider y'all like a family to me. What I have to say now comes straight from my heart and I hope there are some out there who have gone through what I'm going through right now.
I'm female, 27 years old. I was raised a Southern Baptist. I attended a Southern Baptist church and just about everyone in my family -- both sides -- are Southern Baptist. Growing up, I always thought there was something different about me; just never knew what. As I grew older, I realized -- I was starting to find myself attracted to females as well as males. I've been questioning myself for years, especially living in the Bible Belt where my county voted almost 70% for McCain(although my state, NC, went narrowly for Obama, yay!) but after reading all the threads about the passing of Prop. 8, I feel like the words have been taken out of my own mouth. I feel like it is taking away MY rights, even though I live nowhere remotely near CA. I'm just now admitting it to myself, but I'm bisexual.
So where do I go from here? I know being GLBT isn't wrong, but my family doesn't. Most of them are bigots. I still live with my rather conservative(although Obama voting) mother -- but I have a full-time job and I'm hoping to move out on my own soon -- hopefully next year when I get my tax refund in. I'm afraid she would kick me out if she knew I was bisexual. :( I also have Asperger's, and have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past, so she already thinks I'm a pretty messed up person. Sorry for the long post and hope what I said makes sense -- I am just looking for any advice! Thanks in advance to you all!

(...also some jerks, but hey, you'll find them anywhere...)

Very touching post.

NC was a remarkably liberal state in that regard when I lived there 40 years ago, but even then there were safe people to tell and people who should never know.

If your mother isn't safe to tell, just concentrate on getting out on your own. You can chance telling her once you have your own life set up and working for you. Or you can just never tell. You already know what to do.

Once you get to a position where you can financially support yourself, then you'll be a little safer and begin to move away from some of the bigotry.

I wish you the best of luck and welcome to DU. :hi:

I hope you enjoy your time here, most of us are good people but from time to time, especially over things related to prop h8, there are scuffles. The hardest thing I think is to accept being looked down upon by people all across the spectrum of society. You are not a second-class citizen, like the hatemongers would lead you and others to believe, and I am deeply sorry for all that you have had to and will endure more of throughout your life. Everywhere I go I talk to people, several self-identified liberals aswell, who think the GLBT community and their issues are not a matter of civil rights. I do my best to set them straight but ignorance is hard to break. Some would disagree but I think people who think Obama is a terrorist/Muslim/socialist are ignorant and those who would vote to take a minority group rights away is even more so uneducated. Ignorance is still ignorance and to complain when Obama was being labled as some kind of Muslim extremist, yet not complain when your fellow Americans have their constitutional rights stripped of them, you do not deserve the right to call yourself American.

I don't have any particular advice for your situation, but at the very least I'll try to be a friendly ear. :hug:

I'm a former Tarheel myself (Charlotte area for the better part of 30 years), so i understand the uniquely uncomfortable position you find yourself in with regard to your surroundings and family.

My best advice is to get to know your way around whatever the largest city that you are close to; guaranteed there is an open GLBT population who can help as an in-person support network, just as we here at DU can try to do in this virtual setting.

You mentioned that your family is Southern Baptist?! If you still consider yourself Christian, from what i understand, there are a smattering of Baptist churches that have broken away from the hateful dogma, and have become 'welcoming congregations'. Park Road Baptist in Charlotte is one of them, but there are several others around the state. Also, in the larger municipalities, there are MCC churches as well.

PM me if you ever just want to talk with another "bi" North Carolinian chick. I've been out since high school, and that was quite a while ago.

Peace, and welcome to DU.

First, :pals: Glad to see you here. I think the best thing is to lay low until you have your own place. I know that Prop 8 failed in CA but it might not be bad if you can move to an area with a large LGBT community. I know it is hard coming out and that you have to wait, but as said above, you have friends and support here on the DU GLBT forum.

removed by author with apologies

is that this is a pretty good place to come and just hang with people.

It can be a little rough and rowdy sometimes, but you can make friends, learn a lot of stuff and even have some fun with some pretty nice people.

So, again, welcome to DU! :hi:

And congratulations on starting your journey to the real you.

I would do a little research, and find out where the closest gay organization is to you. You might be hampered by being too far away, or not having adequate transportation, but it would be really good for you if you could start building yourself a network of friends who are gay or bi themselves, and will accept you without reservation. They can help give you the strength you need to be yourself to your family and current friends, and they will be there for you should some of those family and friends not take it well. If you can't meet up with people in person, there are lots of places on the web (many much better than this one, which is not to slight DU, but it doesn't exist to house a gay forum, it just happens to do so) where you can "meet" people and be yourself.

One more thing: obviously, you know your family and friends much better than I do, but some may be more willing to accept you than you think. Some may need some time. And some may never, as I'm sure you know. I think the most important thing you can do for yourself right now is to establish your independence, and get yourself to a place where you can say, "This is who I am, and if you can't deal with it, well, it's been real."

Good luck!

They are after your rights too. you got that correct. Get yourself on your own then come out, when you don't need them. My father wrote in my autograph book "to thine own self be true". Oh yeah California beckons... still

Seminary and was able to study the bible in its original language and context you should be aware that the conservative elements of the Church have hijacked the interpretation of the bible and its application.

My point in telling you this is that you should not experience any guilt about who you are your feelings about yourself.


Guilt is the most self destructive force and more important than worrying about how your mother feels about you is the question about how you feel about you. After that nobody else's opinion will matter.

If you are still interested in being involved in a Christian community then I would urge you to find an inclusive Church in your area with a liberal pastor and take up any group or personal counseling that they might offer.

Peace and good luck.