Respite for those who take care of someone with Alzheimer's

MILWAUKEE: Mildred and John Fischer thought their retirement years would be a time for traveling and visiting their grandchildren. Then last September, just as John Fischer was retiring from the post office, Mildred Fischer's mother, who has Alzheimer's disease, came to live with them.

While friends and neighbors enjoyed carefree time, Mildred Fischer said she felt that her world was closing in on her. She could sense her heart palpitating from the constant stress. It got so bad one day, she said, "I needed to go down to the basement and just sit."

Finally, with some feelings of guilt, the Fischers did what most other people in their position never try: They got away, leaving her mother, also named Mildred, for the weekend at a new nine-bed "respite care" center here. It is a measure of health care aimed not at the sick or frail person, but at the exhausted spouse, child or friend.

While nurses cared for her mother in a small unit designed to resemble a European village, the Fischers traveled to Green Bay, Wisconsin, with their grandchildren for a few days of unencumbered time together.

"I didn't know what respite was," Mildred Fischer, 63, said. "But we really need it."...>

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/08/19/healthscience/elderly.php

I know they have Alzhiemers Day Care services here in NYC, but I do not think they have any facilities at which the families may leave their charges overnight.

husband 24/7. Even a few hours a week would have helped. Society seems to think because there is a family member who is shouldering the burden of a ailing person who needs care giving that the problem is solved.

I took care of Dad for over 3 years.

My ordeal is over now. I hope yours is too. However, part of Medicare should be for a care giver at least once or twice a week to give the primary care giver some respite. I believe most civilized countries in this world who have national health care have provisions for this.

when a sitter came for four hours a week to sit with my mother. Even though his caregiving was mostly limited to making sure she had something to eat and hadn't landed on the floor next to the bedside commode (health aides did the bathing and hair washing), he still felt chained to the house.

Once he discovered that four solid hours of freedom, instead of just grabbing half an hour here or there while she was asleep to do some errands, he never looked back.

Respite is absolutely vital to a caregiver's mental health. Sometimes people need to know what it's for, though.

When he died I was battling the flu, while trying to take care of him. Fortunately he had gotten a flu shot. That was the year that BushCo didn't make enough for everyone so only the very sick and elderly got one and I didn't. Then I fell apart, getting shingles and then Bell's palsy. I managed to have a couple of small strokes too that I didn't know about until they did an MRI on me a year later. I was grateful that he was gone by then because I don't know how I would have coped with my own health compromised. I have recovered now and am in reasonably good health for my age.

luckily she doesn't have Alzheimer's but she does have dementia and she long ago forgot
who I am.

I believe her decline accelerated when her vision deteriorated. In spite of our best efforts
and that of very good eye doctors, there was little to be done for her left eye, and she feared cataract surgery for her right eye, so her vision is not very clear in the one "good" eye.

Other than her not knowing who I am, she seems fine and not to anxious.

It is very difficult.

You would think now that your child (ren) is older, life should get easier. Suddenly being made a primary caregiver for your own ailing elderly parents is really difficult. As a single parent and head of household, in my case for example, what is one to do. Life is being put on hold. You can use all the help, from siblings to organizations.

The lack of sleep common in many caregivers is taking a toll on their own health. Finally the medical community has also started to realize the toll on a caregivers' health.
I found there are several support organizations across the country, but I have not turned to them myself.
Sad fact, especially when you are elderly yourself and caring for your spouse, statistics show within just a few years of the patients death, you follow.
At the nursing home where my mother was staying last year, there was a lady who came every day to be with her husband. One day during lunch time, she collapsed. The facility is right behind a fire station and paramedics arrived in no time, but she was gone. Her husband, with Alzheimers never understood what happened and continued to ask where she was.

This is another one of the health care issues, long term care is very expensive, hardly covered by any type of insurance. There are also some families having to care for 2 sometimes 4 ill elderly parents, I can not even imagine what that must be like...
Naturally your parents want to be with you, but you really need in home help, such as a skilled nurse, a bathing nurse or someone just to plain old entertain your parents, at least once in while.

Thanks for posting this..

Good help of any sort, let alone affordable help, with the care of elderly relatives is one of the areas where a LOT more needs to be done. Especially as so many more people are reaching extreme old age - and their children may not be 'spring chickens' by the time extensive care is needed; one may be talking about a 65-year-old trying to look after a 90-year-old parent.