In Turnabout, Children Take Caregiver Role

LANTANA, Fla. — Partly paralyzed, with diabetes and colitis, Linda Lent needs extensive care at home.
But with her husband working long hours at a bowling alley, Ms. Lent, 47, relies on a caregiver who travels by school bus toting a homework-filled backpack: her 13-year-old daughter, Annmarie.

Annmarie injects migraine medicine, dispenses pills, takes blood from her mother’s finger for tests and responds to seizures — responsibilities she has at times found overwhelming.

At 11, she said, she felt “fed up,” thinking: “There’s no law says I have to take care of her. Why should I have to do it? Other kids, they could go out and play with friends.”

Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents — lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.

Some children develop maturity and self-esteem. But others grow anxious, depressed or angry, sacrifice social and extracurricular activities and miss — or quit — school.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/23/health/23care.html?th&emc=th

and I've never known a single one who didn't resent losing out on their childhood because of it.

Even if they've grown because of it, they've always hated to have to do it when the other kids were playing, doing after school activities, or going to the occasional party. They had to stay home with Mom or Grandpa or someone who needed close watching while Mom and Dad were working. It seems to be worse with an adult than with younger siblings because the kids have no real power over an adult.

Even adult caregivers who love their charges burn out pretty quickly. It's ten times worse for a kid.

having kids when you are younger. we SHOULD be breeding in our teens/20's. not our 40's. my grandparents were in their 40's when i came around. they were around and a stable force in my life.

It has nothing to do with when people have kids, and everything to do with the economics and politics of health care in this country. The person noted in the article linked to by the OP was only 34 when she had her child. My wife just turned 34, and we just had our first child. We couldn't help but delay having the child until our 30s, since we've only been together for 7 years.