THIS WEEK'S BEST SEPTEMBER JOKES

For The Week of September 7, 2009



Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
One hasn't got time for the waiting game

Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few
September, November
And these few precious days I'll spend with you
These precious days I'll spend with you

AUSSIE WISH

A young man in Melbourne, having had a hard day at work, sat down in his armchair with a cool one.

No sooner had he opened his beer, when a genie popped out. "I can grant you one wish," said the genie.

The young man thought for a moment then said: "I've a girl friend in Tassie. I wish for a bridge connecting Melbourne to Burnie."

The genie looked worried. "Do you have any idea of the logistics of erecting a bridge across Bass Strait?"

"Do you reckon it can't be done?" asked the young man.

"Well, I'm not saying it can't be done, but there would be enormous difficulties. I think you'd better have another wish."

"Okay," says the young man, "I wish I understood women."

The genie responded swiftly: "Do you want a double freeway on this bridge?

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

:hi: enjoy....

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Can I have a beer and a mop?