Birds: the sordid truth

Did they really think a swallow could carry another one? ...

SOLDIER #1:
    What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR:
    It could grip it by the husk!
SOLDIER #1:
    It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a
one pound coconut.
ARTHUR:
    Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master
that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
SOLDIER #1:
    Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
ARTHUR:
    Please!
SOLDIER #1:
    Am I right?
ARTHUR:
    I'm not interested!
SOLDIER #2:
    It could be carried by an African swallow!
SOLDIER #1:
    Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow. That's my point.
SOLDIER #2:
    Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
ARTHUR:
    Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at
Camelot?!
SOLDIER #1:
    But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
SOLDIER #2:
    Oh, yeah.
SOLDIER #1:
    So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
    [clop clop clop]
SOLDIER #2:
    Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?
SOLDIER #1:
    No, they'd have to have it on a line.
SOLDIER #2:
    Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
SOLDIER #1:
    What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
SOLDIER #2:
    Well, why not?