Smart washer urges men to help with laundry

This reminds me, I've got to go switch loads...

Let's put one on the lawnmower on Mother's Day to show Mom how much we appreciate her!

Doesn't it get tiring?

when their mother weans them.

Their gov't actually recognizes that there is abundant evidence showing that women do the majority of housework, in addition to their work outside the home and childcare duties. Women have often been described as having a double work-shift.

The evidence isn't new, but the official response to it, and to the also much researched fact that besides money, the greatest conflict in marriage revolves around housework, IS new.

Hooray for Spain!

....in Chicago studied that again recently and found that in families where both parents work, the disparity is not as great as it's been perceived. They also looked at comparitive estimates of what each partner thought the other was doing and what he/she was doing.

Both partners overestimated their own contributions and underestimated those of his/her counterpart. The study found that men underestimated what women do by about 4% and women underestimate what men do by about 11%. In the end, when all the household duties were tallied, men and women spend very similar times -- I think it came out to a differecne that amounted to about 18 minutes per day.

to reputable sources that clearly disprove your claims, I will infer that you are expressing personal issues and are not interested in honest intellectual discovery.

Like the "marriage strike", you mean?

My point is that most of those studies to which you refer have two problems:

1. They're usually self-reporting studies which are flawed in design.

2. The studies are designed to limit the definition of "housework" rather than comparing generally how much time husbands and wives devote to the upkeep of their homes and families. When housework is defined as things like cooking and cleaning while excluding things like maintaining the vehicles and performing renovations it creates a perception that while women are working their butts off, men are drinking beer on the couch in their underwear. The studies focus one-way on the crossing of traditional gender roles, but not the other.

bullshit, it's still bullshit.
This is news?
How long have you been posting on DU?

to reputable sources that clearly disprove your claims, I will infer that you are expressing personal issues and are not interested in honest intellectual discovery.

...that ranks the US with other countries in terms of how housework is shared. While women are shown to do more -- I don't argue that they don't, just not as disparate as it's made out to be -- the difference is actually fairly small; about 5% from what I could tell.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-B/lab_gen_div_of_hou
Incidentally, 5% works out to probably minutes per day.

Where's your links?

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=288
Women still do the majority of the household chores, despite their increased participation in the labour market.

Women spend nearly 3 hours a day on average on housework (excluding shopping and childcare). This compares with the one hour 40 minutes spent by men. Women also spend more time than men looking after children. Men, on the other hand, work or study for an average of nearly 2 hours a day more than women (4 hours 20 minutes a day compared with 2 hours 30 minutes for women).

http://www.socialistworld.net/eng/2005/01/25us.html
Women hit the hardest

Because women still do the majority of housework and childcare, these low wages, lack of benefits, and job insecurity hit women even harder than men. Because of this, many women (especially those with children) have a very hard time making ends meet on their own, and are often forced to remain economically dependent on men, even if they are abusive.

The concentration of women in low-paying, part-time jobs also goes hand in hand with sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace. A good example of this is Wal-Mart, which is facing the largest class-action lawsuit in U.S. history, representing every woman hired by the store since 1998 (1.6 million women).

http://www.careerjournal.com/columnists/workfamily/20050520-workfamily.html?cjpos=home_whatsnew_minor
Family, shows that wives estimate, when asked, that their husbands do 33% of the housework. But when researchers tracked men's actual housework time, they found husbands were shouldering 39% of the chore load.

Husbands aren't getting off the hook entirely, though. They still give themselves too much credit, the study shows, claiming they do 42% of the work around the house.

The fact that women still do the majority of housework despite their expanded duties as breadwinners has fueled tensions in millions of homes.

Women's average housework time fell by nearly half between 1965 and 1995, to 17.5 hours a week from 30, while men's almost doubled to 10 hours from 4.9 hours, based on a survey of four national studies published in 2000 by the University of Maryland's Suzanne Bianchi and others.

Another one
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~soc.327/housework(oct27).pdf

Your first link applies to the UK, but I'll address it anyway. The thrust of that study is attitudes toward certain chores moreso than time spent doing the chores. Also, it appears from that study that men and women are equally as busy throughout the day -- with men working outside the home two hours more and women inside the home two hours more. In the end that's a fairly equitable standard.

Personally, I don't trust the socialistworld link as all that reliable since I feel it has a decidedly political and rhetorical agenda.

The careerjournal link is actually the study I was talking about. This study fails to outline how much time the spouses are spending working outside the home typically so it's impossible to guage whether that's a factor. The study shows a 20% difference in time spent on home chores for working parents. From a rough calculation estimating that people work four hours at home on weekdays and six on weekends that gives me 28 hours total X 20% = 5.6hrs/wk /7days =.8hrs per day X 60min/hr = 48 minutes per day disparity. I think it's typical in most families like this that the husband spends an hour per day more working outside the home.

I'm not denying that women tend to do more housework in dual earner families. What I'm saying is that both spouses are more or less equally as busy furthering the goals of their families. My point is, why tear down what one does -- on a holiday set to give him some credit -- over a difference of 48 minutes per day?

Your last link is dead.

some may think twice about letting the husbands do the laundry.

In 14+ years I don't think I have ruined and of the wifes clothes yet. But I think she is always nervous that I might. So that she prefers to do the wash herself.

he can figure out how to do the laundry. I think what you're really pointing to might be more a lack of interest than a lack of ability.

Happily married to a man who's smart enough to understand the laundry.

Laundry has been declared Rocket Science, and is therefore only able to be successfully completed by women. And a few NASA scientists, of course.

...and if that's the way they are they should do it themselves. Often it's not a matter of right or wrong as much as a matter of wanting something a certain way.

My wife for instance prefers some things washed contrary to the label. Since there's no way I can memorize her wardrobe, she's got herself stuck doing laundry. On the other hand, I'm very open to special orders for dinner!

Much of it is prioritization. She also likes towels folded a certain way. That's fine, but if she can't accept it like I do it, she can do it herself.

Depending on what life was like where a guy grew up. He can get thru much of his early life oblivious to the care requirements for delicate fabrics. And fairly carefree of worries about colorfastness.

But then again asking for instructions on how to wash certain fabrics is alot like asking for directions. It just is not in our genetic makeup to do that.

too, wouldn't it? I sometimes wonder if they hand out a book on this stuff - how to make sure you look like a hero by offering to "help" your wife without ever actually having to do it by feigning incompetence.

I agree, many boys aren't taught how to do some of this stuff. That's why I support anyone who is teaching their young women how to fix a car and their young men how to wash the laundry. However, once someone reaches a certain age, and certainly when they get married, you would think that maturity would set in and respect for the things they paid their hard-earned money for would be enough to encourage them to learn how to take care of them.

I suspect it has more to do with the former point that it's less a matter of competence than a matter of desire. Women aren't "born" with the desire and know-how to care for today's delicate fabrics - we learn because we care. If men cared (if only about their wives) they would take the same amount of time to learn - from her, or if that makes them feel like less of a man, then from the same sources we learn - read the frickin' label.

In essence, these excuses are a cop-out.

....the problem at my house is that many of her washing instructions are counter to what's on the label. ie some things say wash warm and she wants it cold.

I have to say also that the "if he cared enough about his wife he'd learn the right way" sort of thing isn't all that healthy for a relationship. Some people are good at some things, some people are good at others. I've made honest attempts at being a good folder, but it just ain't happenin'. It doesn't mean that I love my wife less.

And on the flip side, she's not nearly as good a cook as I am. Now I could sit there and complain that if she really cared, she'd put in the effort to be a better cook. Fact of the matter is, she wasn't a good cook when I met her and I accept her the way she is. She's my partner, not my project.

I was responding to One_Life_To_Give.

and you consider yourself either a feminist or an ally, why don't you check out the new group?
Nobody wants to censor or ban anyone.
We just want a place free from disruptions.
Perhaps you have been misjudged (by me, I can't speak for anyone else) because of the hostile environment in this forum.
If so, I am sorry and I hope we can find much to agree on.

....with all due respect, I don't think it'll be the type of place for me.

The way I see it, I disagree with most people here about some very fundamental beliefs regarding gender roles in our society and disparities in social power between men and women -- which is why I started the thread "Can a person seek gender equality, yet not be a feminist."

I get from your mission statement that you're seeking folks who already agree on the fundamental principles with which I disagree, so it wouldn't make much sense for me to join.

I do however, thoroughly appreciate that olive branch you just extended and hope to see you around.

Peace.

...though she did wreck a whole slew of vintage shirts once...Oh well, getting a little old for that stuff anyway.

Personally, I'd like to see articles and studies addressing more what you should do if you're not happy with the division in the relationship and constructive strategies rather than constantly harping on who does more. Make it a contest with a score keeping and someone always comes out the loser.

At our house I'm responsible for all the groceries and all the cooking -- though my wife is a talented baker.

Child care is split very evenly (we only have one), snow removal is me, lawn mowing and renovations are me, gardening evenly divided, but she definietly does more cleaning.

He's really good at posting flamebait and then trotting off into the sunset.
He started the thread, we didn't.
Apparently most women and a very few men take this forum a little more seriously than others.

...who you're talking about. I don't know the person who started the thread.

So sorry about the mix up but since he posted flamebait and you handily replied with your own snarky comment:

"Let's put one on the lawnmower on Mother's Day to show Mom how much we appreciate her!"

I just assumed you were together.

....that it's pretty brutal to stir up trouble between husbands and wives on a day that they're meant to honor each other's commitment and contributions to the little ones.

I'd never want my wife to cut the grass on mother's day -- it would be a waste to spend all that money to send her to the spa for a day and then have her get all sweaty and grass stained!

I'm the villain.

What does scottie want you to tell me?

Why, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your concern for the women on DU, it really shows in your contribution to this forum:
"Smart washer urges men to help with laundry"
I mean, just look at all the silly things we usually talk about in here:
****
> Is this rape?
> Any interest in a Women's Rights and Issues Group?
> Look at this, a stalker's dream come true
> Stalker's
> The "Feminization" of Males.
> 'Lactivists' Taking Their Cause, and Their Babies, to the Streets
> Majority in U.S. Supports Abortion Availability
> What Can Female Soldiers Do?
> Is DU better than Afghanistan on women's rights?
> What about a Women's Party?
> Texas Governor to sign abortion and marriage bills in church
> "Women's Rights are Just Propaganda in Washington"
> Can a person seek gender equality, but not be a feminist?
> The Nat'l Women's Law Ctr new website & blog re judiciary nominations

We are so lucky to have you here to support women's issues, we would be lost without you.
And really, you're so modest, it's almost like you didn't know what you were doing...
:hi:

This is a forum, not a group - you're welcome to take it seriously, but other people are also welcome to use it more lightly.

This is far from the only semi-frivolous topic (if indeed it is, which I'm not convinced of) - as well as the ones you've posted, there are "Why are DUers posting about blondes being raped by sasquatches" "great CODE PINK hi-top sneakers - 100% union made" and plenty of others, and most of the serious threads have frivoulous or humorous posts in them.

By all means take this forum more seriously than others, but I don't think it's fair to condemn others if they choose not to.

So I shouldn't voice my opinion because you don't like it ?

Deal.

To get out of doing the laundry.

Ooopsy, guess you should probably take care of the washin' from now on, hon'. Obviously I just can't handle it.

:eyes:

one of these washers, if not a Passive aggressive attempt to get help with the laundry?

I think it's pretty in-your-face.

However, I don't know that I'm authorized to determine whether or not it has something to do with women's rights.

I'm not convinced this is a sensible idea.