Target Practice - Abuse Survivor Quotes

In an effort to help others recognize trouble when they see it...and to help them avoid becoming a big T (Target)

http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/target.html

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"They can't keep that false act for long, it's too exhausting so they change into who they really are: Mr. Hyde. The Dr. Jekyll he seemed to be in the beginning was the wrapping paper on the hideous package underneath."


"He was insulting, belittling, controlling, blaming, he twisted my words and got me to the point where I began to think I was going crazy."


"I am a fairly articulate person, and I used to think that if I could just EXPLAIN things to him, he would "get" it. I wish somebody could have told me 20 years ago that this is an absolutely futile pursuit. Don't explain ANYTHING to them. When I think of how I spent hours and hours composing carefully worded letters to my N, I feel like a complete fool. I think all he did was scan the letters to find things to use against me."


"To most people he is the harmless, lovable larrikin, proud father and caring partner. At home he was lazy, selfish, money-grabbing, abusive, obsessive and critical."


"The real lessons to be learned are to spot the red flags and then run like hell."



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MANY more at the site....in all sorts of categories.

Having been in an abusive marriage in the late 1970's and having seen others struggling my Aunt, never married but who watched me go through it and I helped a young women 20 last month. She comes once a week to help my Aunt and the first day she was here 5 minutes and burst into tears. She was a very open and honest person. She wouldn't even leave 10 minutes early because I got back early. She had been in a relationship with a man 4 years older since she was 18, the year her father died in a car accident. His behavior had deteriorated into a nightmare. We talked to her and because I know what I did not want to hear we focused on her. She WAS a good person. She had done nothing wrong. Maybe this was a good time to take a step back and rethink things. My Aunt suggested perhaps joining a fitness center to keep her mind off of things because exercise makes you feel better. She did and two weeks later she had met a very nice fellow, graduate student. His family is taking her on a trip next month with them. She just glows. She had to learn how to block her abusers text messages. She had to change her phone number and she had to get the windows fixed on her car because he broke them out and then get a restraining order but he he is gone. He already was in another relationship so perhaps he will give up since he was the one who "broke up with her" because she finally spoke up for herself after a scary, humiliating painful New Years Eve.

...they will never change - they'll never own their own issues - their own personality disorders - they'll never acknowledge or do the work to change for the better. It's always someone else's fault they're abusive. They only see THEIR feelings and someone else's behavior.

They never see someone ELSE'S feelings and THEIR behavior. They're pathologically backwards people. Narcissists, sociopaths.

They'll just blame the target/victim for the abuse and then move onto the next one. There are PLENTY of viable targets for abusers out there.

There was one quote that said "blaming the victim for abuse is like blaming the bank teller for the bank robbery". And, it is.

GOOD on your and your aunt for helping that young woman! I hope she can go on to learn what caused her to choose that guy and what caused HIM to chose her and how to recognize the warning signs (and the abuse) and bolt early on so that next time - she will NOT be such an easy target for an abuser. That's the lesson in it all.

This could be about my father.

No one in my family will even hear the words "emotional abuse"

..that it isn't abuse. Words can be like fists. In fact the part of PA (physical abuse) that takes longest to recover from is the emotional part. The bruises, broken bones and lacerations heal much faster than the damaged spirit, psyche, the self-esteem and emotions.

EA and VA are real - they always precede PA when it happens. People don't believe that verbal abuse and emotional abuse exists or that it can be clearly defined - but it can and it does exist.

Here's a very informative link about what emotional abuse is and what emotional abusers are like - and about what people who are likely to be emotionally abused are like - what makes them such good targets.

You might see people you know in some of the descriptions. I know I do - having been in a few abusive relationships myself.

http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm#What%20is%20Emotional%20Abuse?

the emotional/verbal abuse took it's toll.

Bruises heal (not in any way saying that's a good thing or that it should be tolerated), but the emotional abuse hurts forever.

for reading later. . .

Thanks, Triana. If you don't mind, I'd like to PM you some questions in the near future

domination-submission machines the lot of them. It took me two psychedelic trips to learn to perceive this type of communication and then many hours of balancing on edge of disaster to learn how to communicate with such people, without being sucked into their way of doing things. Sometimes i still prefer to fight it out with other males when they try this crap on me. Oh boy, do we all suck...