Could you choose one pet over another if you had to?

I'm thinking of leaving my husband and moving to California to stay with my sister. She already has a cat and says she could only let me bring one of our three cats. How in the world would I choose? This is very distressing for me in an already distressing situation.

but upon reading just the title before clicking in, I was thinking of life and death... if the house were on fire, and I could only grab one, or 2 needed major surgery and I could only afford one. If you can only take one, at least you will know that the other two will still have good lives together in a familiar home. Of course you would miss them terribly, but at least you will know they are still loved.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. :hug:

I'm still working out what I'm going to do. My sister did say she could let me bring two, and that makes it a lot easier. We have 12-year-old Monty, who was my birthday present in 1995 and whom I really don't want to leave behind; Morrissey, whom we adopted in 2005 and is just the cutest little guy EVER; and Sunny, an adorable kitten whom we adopted in October. I feel so guilty even thinking about leaving Sunny behind, but he'd be the one to stay, I think. Mr. DTBK is the one who requested an orange kitten when we were ready to adopt again after Simba's death.

I don't know if or when I'll leave. This is all very foreign to me.

I am so sad to hear of your situation. I don't know what to tell you. For me, I know that I would have to take my dogs (2) and leave behind the cat - Mr MB chose him anyhow, but that is neither here nor there.....

I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament :hug:

I left a guy I was living with for 10 years and left my dog behind. I really regret my decision to this day and this was back in 1982.

So sorry you are going through this. :hug:

You know I had to give up Scorpio and I'm sure you're familiar with that story. It is still very painful. I couldn't keep him because I was afraid of this neighbor. I don't know how profoundly evil she can be, but I got a good idea of it when she locked poor Scorpie back up in there, rather than allow me to help. So I took him to my Mom's where the evil abusive neigbhor couldn't look in my windows while I'm at work and do I don't know? She might have called the police and then poor Scorpio would have had to go in a shelter because I would not have surrendered him the second time. And I see him every week and he doesn't really understand, I think, why I had to move him because he runs to me when I arrive at my Mom's when I call him and he plays with me and basically loves being around me. But he loves his new home and is so happy and healthy that I'm really glad I did the best for him. Not to mention the great good he's done there at my Mom's where there are sick people with not much hope in life and to see a sweet young animal reach out is a great thing. I had three cats already in a very small condo so I am resolved to this as much as I adore Scorpio. I saved his life so there is a connection there that is very deep.

So, it isn't a bad thing to find a good home for your pet. I think you need to do some planning and you will have emotional regrets, I did, but you will also know you did the best thing for your pet that you could.

Any decision that you make out of love for your pet is the best decision. I firmly stand by that.

We had a long discussion today. I think most of the problem is that we're living in Texas and I absolutely LOATHE it here and long to live in California. He just got his long-coveted research funding and has to stay in Dallas for a while longer - trouble is, it could take up to a year, and I really don't want to waste more of my time here. I'd really like to go out there in early summer and start studying for the California bar exam, then get a job doing something while waiting for him to finish up here and come out there. Even if it's not the Bay Area, it'd sure as hell be better than Texas. Some people love Texas, but I am NOT one of them. I think he's resigned himself to the idea that I might do that. I DON'T want to break up - I just want to live where I want to live for a change. We moved to Pittsburgh for his job, then to Dallas for his job - if his next location is Miami or Buffalo or Blue Eye, Missouri (there IS such a place), I think I'll SCREAM! I feel selfish, but damn it, this is how I feel.

It's been a very emotional day.

I hope you can work things out for the best, whatever that may be. :hug:

I love Texas (I live in the Hill Country, after all ;) ) but I didn't really plan on living in one place the rest of my life and I really hate the summers here! I'd love to live in Colorado or California! But my husband is self-employed and he can't really just pick up and start over somewhere else -- at least, not now.

Since I can teach math anywhere, I even considered gettin a job as an adjunct in the summer, say, in Denver. I could get a small apartment and bring my little dog with me. But it's just a dream -- not something that would really work. And if I were to leave for a long semester, I would lose our health insurance for three years (strange situation for adjuncts at my community college.)

I hope y'all can work something out, for you and the cats! :hug:

Why should your career always be the one that is secondary?

Sorry, but I have too many friends who have sacrified their careers for their partner(male), and lived to regret it for any one of several reasons-including getting dumped when the guy hit the big time.

Sounds like you guys are coming to a workable conclusion and one that will work for both of you. It will most likely be hard at times to be separated, but it's temporary - and TX and CA aren't that far away, you can certainly visit on weekends!

:hug:

We were apart for a year until he could find a job back in the US. I hated Germany the first time we lived here, so after 9 months, I bailed. He kept the cats until March when he came to visit. It wasn't easy. I don't think there is really anything wrong with you going someplace that you want to be, hopefully you can work things out together (if that's what you both want). :hug:

We had three cats. My ex stayed in the house and I moved to a duplex, and one of the cats didn't get along with the other two quite as well as those two did with each other. So I took the one cat (who eventually lived to be 21), and the other two stayed with the ex. It worked out, though, because we were still in the same city (within a couple of miles, actually), and the split was amicable, so I could visit the other cats when I wanted to. And we figured all the cats would be happier with the arrangement. Still, it was hard to move away from those two cats, who were my good buddies.

Good luck, hope this works out for you.

to the situation. If I could only take two cats I would chose Oberon and Puck because they get along together very well, whereas Pip is still trying to fit in and is still young enough to bond to someone else. If I could only take one it would have to be Oberon. Obie is a true Mama's boy. Puck is a real mama's girl too and is totally attached to me, but she's also more adaptable than Obie and can learn to trust new people more easily than he can. Oberon is a basket case if I'm gone for a day or two, so I know that he would become dangerously depressed if he had to live without "mom". I've known cats who became so depressed by change that they would no longer eat, so I guess it really come down to the psychology of your pets more than anything else.

It's a tough call, but I know that you'll find a way to do what's best for your fur family. Best of luck on your new adventure! :hug: